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A Place to talk (or bitch) about your relationship
2012.09.19 01:17 JohnnyMujoA Place to talk (or bitch) about your relationship
Hey ya’ll I figured I’d give this a shot..so here goes I (F28 HISPANIC) Ex (M31 WHITE) In 2018 I met my ex online, he confessed to me on our first date him and his ex at the time were separating (he claimed she was very jealous) she was moving out of the house they rented (that was his grandfathers) Please note here that his ex was kind of his co worker they worked for the same company different locations and they met at a holiday party. I explained to him I couldn't see him because he was still very actively separating from his last relationship. He was certain she was out of the picture and so that following weekend she was out to which I was then comfortable with him and I began to slowly start dating. A few months laters we became official, I ended up losing my job (i was wrongfully terminated), i decided to relocate to AZ to which he very willingly decided to follow me.He left his dog, the house he was living with his sister and his niece and his home gym. Needless to say, I was shook! Later, we got to AZ, we lived in my cousin's house and paid cheap rent to help save for a house. I was depressed but really tried to make the best of the situation. I began to realize that intimacy became a concern, it was something that was not in my mind. Not at least until after I was offered a job and began to feel more secure about my career. During our time in AZ, we got into a huge fight and broke up. I learned there was communication between him and his ex. I accidentally stumbled onto that information through his phone. I wasn’t lurking, something had just popped up and I saw it. I asked him about it and he said that the only reason they talked is because she was infected with an std. There was another girl of concern that popped up but he assured me it was nothing and I had nothing to worry. Except, during our argument he made it a point that he didn't like AZ and wanted to leave. My cousin was trying to be “supportive” by changing me out of his phone family plan into hers, purchase bags and boxes for him to be able to leave that same night. Especially since, he made it a point that he was leaving back to our home state. He finally, packed up, drove about 4 hours out of AZ and returned. Except this time we were unable to stay with my cousin because she did not approve of our relationship. We had nowhere to go. I decided to quit my job, and drive back to our home state that same night. We got to our home state and he was living with his parents in the living room and I was crashing with my sister. For about 2 or 3 months. I was working two jobs and he was able to get his job back in our home state. We finally got our own place and sometime after his brother's engagement, I learned he and his ex (the one he lived with/worked for the same company) were indeed sexting and communicating this whole time. Their communication never ended. I confronted both of them and they blamed it on eachother. This is where things escalated to verbal and physical abuse. Then I learned that the other girl I was initially concerned about too turned out to be a big fat lie, he was virtually cheating. For reasons I cannot even fathom today, I did my best to forgive him and move on but it was hard and naturally It didn't work. I learned there was yet another female he was cheating on me with. This time however, I couldn't bear the pain. I decided to leave him and take stuff with me, left him without bedsheets, pans and pots, one tv/stand, gift cards, game system etc. It was January 6 (my mother's bday), I had just paid my rent, I knew he couldn't be trusted, I knew he wasn't going to pay me back, I freaked out and I took what I needed. His mother had given us things for our apt for xmas and then she even claimed them back and said that those things were his. She hung up on me in an attempt to come to a resolution. About a month later he came back. He texted me and asked for forgiveness and in an attempt to rule out the past he told me he couldn't even remember the girl's name that he cheated on me with. Naturally, I didn't believe him so I asked him very hard questions who, what when, where and why. Naturally, he denied it all. This time I lurked, I couldn't afford not to. I learned he never deleted her number and he even mentioned her to his mom. His mom appeared VERY supportive of his moving on. So I called this female, spoke to her, and she confessed and claimed that she had no idea either. This was a much older woman with two kids. She tried lecturing me and steeped so low to recommending books for me to read ? Turns out she was a co worker that actually worked in the same clinic with him. Needless to say, I was livid. So I left again. My ex then very admitted confessed to everything and claimed he just wanted to protect my feelings, move on and was able to convince me to try again. There was a lot of arguing in between and lots of stress inducing conversations. We even did get to a place where I gave him all the stuff I took from the apt we shared, the gift cards, etc. But after multiple attempts to try and move past our history, I finally couldn't anymore. He would blame me for his unhappiness and depression and claimed we would also argue a lot. At one point he had a co-worker named Angel that he was secretly texting and speaking to on the phone and denied it. She even blamed me for him not having girl friends, when I later found out she's sending him bikini pictures, he was talking to her and taking her calls after midnight and 1am etc. So I told him to meet me at a Sbux, told him that I learned a lot in our relationship. I learned that I am not the only one with feelings and that I need to not react based on my emotions. So he stood there, didn't say anything other than I don't know. So i said to him, well go on now you're a free man, and he did. About a week later. He texted me, I did not reply. He called, texted and even went as far as messaging me on ig. He was expressing how sorry he was, how he needed me, how he wanted peace as we went through alot. Finally, I decided to reply and the conversation was fine until it wasn’t. He wanted to give me some stuff I had left behind to include a butt plug. It got to the point where I said, sure, send that over too (the plug) and he became upset and jealous and confessed he didn't want another man for me or inside me and realized that it was wrong but that it infuriated him. So in an attempt to set boundaries I told him if we’re going to talk about us moving forward his past needs to be behind him as well. He was following all of the girls he was fooling around with on social media. He then very willingly, decided to unfriend those girls and went as far as asking the old hag with two kids to have her son be removed from one of his old ig accounts that he didn't have access to. Then, that Friday after two weeks of not seeing each other, we decided to go for a date night. We started the evening with sexy time at our apt, then decided to go to the downtown area for dinner. The wait lines were over two hours, I was wearing heels and was hangry and we decided to leave. He had food at the apt for himself (he meal preps) but none for me and I just wanted to be cool in the fresh ac since it was so hot so I decided since I have an early hike the next day, let me just go home. So I did. The next day, I woke up late and didnt go on a hike. I decided I'm still going to make it a good day, get dressed, go out to some stores and had brunch with my cousins. I made an IG post about my brunch date with my cousins and he says thanks for the invite with a rolling eyes emoji. Except him and I had set a date for Saturday evening as well. So I told him my day is for them but my evening is for you. He then tells me his AC broke, and that he is bored and home alone and that I live really far (which is half true but during weekend traffic isn't that bad). So then i tried to be objective and say, im sorry im glad you're able to put an order to get it fixed and even told him at one point don't make excuses for us not getting together in what i thought would be a playful way. He tells me why I am texting him so robotic. I said I didn't know I was and by 6pm on Saturday he blocked me on his cell and on ig. Later on sunday, i went on my hike and by 11am i tried texting him and still i was blocked. I left a voicemail and he texted me saying he realized Friday evening that he didn't want this anymore that the feelings were not there. So I called him, he picked up and basically didn't want to explain anything to me. He was very dismissive and cold. So in the heat of the moment I drove to the apt (where I used to live with him) and confronted him stating what was going ? confused and appalled by yet again this break up. He was upset and annoyed so in a very calm and collected manner, I didn't curse at him, or raise my tone. I asked him to give me back the first months rent and other stuff he has kept in the apt ie. couch, an expensive watch and shades i got him etc.Since I had already given everything back as well. As he was in the restroom gathering himself to leave to do laundry at his parents, i saw his drawer open and I took my butt plug (honestly idk why i took it maybe to be petty) it was wrong of me and then as we were leaving, he said he would pay me the money he owes me, we’re in the parking structure and he begins to raise his voice at me to shut his card door as it turns out he misplaced the expensive shades i bought him. I walked away leaving the passenger door open because he began to verbally abuse me. As am i driving away, he texts me and tells me i'm not getting anything back, that i am a disgusting person for taking the plug he got me and that he was just going to throw it in the trash and that that was a gift to me so he should be the one to have it back. He also threw some shade on my work and told me the reason why my coworkers hate me so much is because of how fake. I said to him in many instances, okay I hope you have a change of heart , I wish you the best nothing but happiness and he blocked me from his cell phone and social media. The thing is, I never cheated. I always tried to be forgiving. I am not sure what I am seeking from having to post this, but this is day 2 of no contact. I feel like I have been made out to be the bad guy here, by getting blocked and being told to never reach out to him again. I didn’t obsessively call him or text him i let him be. I realized he was playing quite a few females to include me. But what really hurt was that even these girls chose to be his friend instead of mine, idk what that says but it's still hurtful. Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading my long story short.
2020.09.30 11:55 Nordic_Krune[Analysis] The 8 gods that have gone the longest without a new skin (As of Patch 7.10)
Hey, it’s me again, you may remember me from such posts as The god that has gone the longest without a skin ... and that’s probably all. I am back to analyse what Gods have gone the longest without a skin (as the title implies) A lot has changed since last time, Raijin, Our winneloser for the last post, finally got A skin knocking him out of the top 5. But who is the one that has gone the longest then? And who takes the #5 spot? Well lets figure it out! I decided to go beyond the needed amount and make this a top 8, as opposed to 6 last time. Originally, I was going to go with 5, but I thought I could go even bigger for this list, hope you appreciate it. I also did not exclude gods to be in this list even if they are getting skins in the future Odyssey, even though they have been leaked. This is because some future skins are leaked and others are not, and it would be unfair to only count some and not others. Besides, the main point, that being their lack of skins, still stands even so. Scroll down to the end to find the results of a polling I did, with over 400 votes! Before I begin with the list, I want to name a few "honorable" mentions. These would have made the list if not for a recent blessing by TitanForge.
Bakasura was #2 on the previous list, but thanks to the Code Eater skin that came out with the 7.9 patch he is no longer there! I will admit though, locking such a long-awaited skin behind an Amazon partnership was scummy, should have been a recolor, but I digress.
Raijin was the winner for our last list, luckily he was blessed with the DJ skin a few weeks back. Sadly it was a part of the viewer store, and is very difficult to get. So, I suppose some Raijin fans will have to continue to weep.
A lot of people thought Chronos would be on this list, but that is because they forget his Illuminator skin back in January of this year.
Loki was considered for this list, as his last skin was in September of 2019, but he is getting a recolor along with his rework, sooo I guess he is out before he can even get in.
Ok let’s begin, I will list the skins name and their release dates. Place your bets now for who #1 could be #8: Biohacker Kali & Chernobog – July 2nd 2019 Yup, the first on this list is a very interesting one. One of the few if not only twin skin releases. Both Kali and Chernobog got neat butterfly-techno-cyborg skins back in July of 2019, but since then they haven’t gotten much attention. Chernobog is getting a new skin in the odyssey in two months’ time, but Kali seem to maybe be left alone, with very few skins to her name. I think its funny how Chernobog, who has been in the game for 1/6th of the time Kali has, is getting close to the same amount of skins as her. With 4 non-recolor skins Vs Kali’s 5 (Not including the Limited skins) It’s a shame too, considering Kali is one of few Gods with 4 arms, which lends itself tosomeNeat ideas But oh well, guess it’s not as bad as the next one on the list. #7: Touchdown Vamana – June 18th Lets play footbaaaaall. The previous Vamana skin was a pretty fun one, with a fitting voicepack to compliment it. Personally, I think Vamana has some of the best skins in the game (Lil’ Mana anyone?) But I cannot blame TitanForge for not making more skins, after all, he is one of those gods people forget about. But there are some goodfan concepts for him But I guess for now we will have to do with the lil’Mana skin, which makes him 100x better. #6: Howler Demon Hun batz – May 24th 2019 So Hun Batz is interesting. Before his 2019 skin he had gone 3 years without a skin, and I remember during the patch notes that they joked about it. He is one of the most played assassins in the pro scene, but in casuals he is rarely seen, as his ult is something you need a coordinated team to use properly. So his popularity is very split among the community. Now, as for skin ideas. All his skins are very monkeylike in some way, they do not really go away from that concept all too much. But some fan concepts really doAnd I think we need one that makes him something else than a monkey Speaking of apes, funnily enough the next one on the list is also a neglected monkey man. #5: Infinite shift Sun Wukong – February 2019 ~ Let’s go dragonball! No skin for Wukong! He’s been neglected for some timeeeee ~ Our favorite shapeshifting monkey boy has not gotten a skin in a whopping 19 months. His recent popularity in the pro scene might incentivize a new skin though, but we can only hope. There are some really good fanmade concept for himI especially like this dinosaur idea There is also the idea to give him a Maui inspired skin, since he can transform into different animals. But alas, he does not need as many skins as the one next. And now we are getting into the reaaally old ones, the ones from the year… 2018! These next gods could really need some love from TitanForge. I will also rant a bit more from here on out, so be prepared. #4: Stiched Horror Zhong Kui - December 19th 2018 The first skin from 2018 belongs to none other than Zhong Kui! Our dear Zhong, the basis of every skin protest. There are fewer gods who have been in the game for so long, but given so little love. Luckily he was blessed by the amazing u/Wolfdawgartcorner with an amazing skin. He was also responsible for Erlang Shens uninvolvement in this list. Now, I am shocked there are not more skins for him. There are SoManyGoodIdeas Infact, here is one; "Chonk Kui"! It's Zhong Kui, but as a chubby cat. I am amazed TitanTina has not already done this. But there you go TitanForge, a free idea, you can pay me in gems. But his latest skin was really good, so atleast we have that. In fact, the longer a god goes without a skin, the better they are, so maybe the next ones on the list will get some amazing skins soon. #3: Shadow Punch Ravana - December 3rd 2018 Ah our warrior gone Rogue assassin, Ravana. I love Ravana, just punching people like I am a character from JoJo's Bizarre adventure But the man has not gotten a new look for a bit too long. His latest was the decent anime skin, inspired by a mix of Dragonball and ... actually I think thats it. There are a lot of anime and videogame inspired requests, but due to copyright they can be hard to implement. I just hope they give him something soon. After this Oddysey he might climb to second place and maybe then TitanForge will realize his needs for a new look?...right? If they can’t come up with their own, The communityCertainly canHelp them with that So honestly I hope to see another skin for him maybe after the Odyssey is done. Speaking of the Odysey, the next one is only here to stay for 3 more weeks. #2: Curious Critter Ratatoskr - November 12th 2018 The tiniest God in SMITE has not gotten a skin in … a bit. Now, he did have an entire event dedicated to him, so I don't think it is too bad. We also know he is getting a new skin in 3 weeks’ time, thanks to datamining Which finally makes him something else than a squirrel! So I guess he will be off the list by then, but at least he never reached the #1 spot on this list. . . . And, the god who has gone the longest without a skin iiiiiiiiiiiis . . . #1: Geeky Beak Thoth - July 24th 2018 Yuuup, bet ya did not expect this! (Unless you read the previous list…) Thoth was given two skins in short succession in 2018, but after that it seems that the skin well has dried up. Everyone’s favorite bookworm has gone 26 months without a skin! To put that into perspective, he has not gotten a skin since the release of Pele, which makes me feel really old… Thoth last skin is so old, babies who were born that day have learned to speak and walk. Thoth’s last skin is sooooo old, it remembers a time before covid-19 Thoth’s last skin is soooooooooooooooooooo old, it made this joke stale before it was even fresh. But yeh, with no leaked info about a new Thoth skin, or it being mentioned in the Odyssey, we must all accept that he may perhaps be skinless a while longer… Bonus: I made a poll where I wanted the community to guess which God they thought had gone the longest without a skin Here are the results of the poll I did for two days. The choices were: Zhong Kui, Erlang Shen, Thoth, Chronos, Ravana and Ratatoskr. With 413 votes, the results were pretty good and tells us a lot about the community perception of skins. Zhong Kui came out on top with 37% of the votes, he is the classic “Has not had any skins ever” meme fodder, so it makes sense. He also is the God (That was released pre 2019) with the least amount of skins. So I for one would not complain is he gets his own skin event some time soon. Ratatoskr got the least votes, which makes sense, as he is getting a skin soon and the voters probably thought that would count (Even tho I wrote that it did not) Chronos got the SECOND most votes (17%), which is hilarious, since his last skin was this January, with Illuminator Chronos… I guess it was just so underwhelming. Thoth, the actual #1 was near the bottom of votes the first day, but ended up with the third most, meaning players do acknowledge his neglect! I want to thank everyone who participated. Hope you also liked this post, it was a bit of work to make, but I did enjoy doing it. I also love showing fan concepts that most maybe overlook, and I hope TitanForge gives us more to purchase. The next list will probably be around next year, as that will be sufficient time for me to make a new one. By the I expect things to change… or atleast I hope? My wish is that the longest a god has gone without a skin is 2 years, as 1 year is a bit optimistic considering we got over 110 gods. Have a good day and a beautiful week! Sources: The poll Edit: Just some formatting changes, nothing biggie
So, I had an idea for a cool DLC in BL3: How about we make one revolving around Angel? I think it would make for a very interesting DLC by giving us a unique perspective of Pandora, Handsome Jack, the vault hunters from BL1 and 2, and the workings of Hyperion. I've got some rough ideas, so here they are: 1. First things first: How is this DLC gonna start? Well, I think it would be interesting to use the "Ghost of Angel" prospect from the mission Childhood's End (If you don't know, this is a mission where you learn more about Angel and why she was locked up. During the mission, machines activate by what is implied, I believe, to be a sort of Angel's Siren Ghost.) Essentially, a marker on your echo would appear in the wreckage of Helios. Going there, you would see how it has deteriorated and been taken apart over the years, and you fight off some bandits and whatnot to get to the signal. Once you arrive, you find a diary belonging to Angel, which Tannis requests you to bring back. Once back, she says some paranormal science biz and you start the DLC by reading the diary.
Now that the intro is done, let me explain the general idea of the story. The diary entries start out right after Angel gets locked up. Maybe the journal was given to her by Jack, or maybe she got it from somewhere else. Each of the story missions has a date, and each story mission takes place a decent amount of time after the previous one (side missions take place on the dates sprinkled in between, but I'll get to that in a minute). Because Angel considered the vault hunters to be her friends, I think it would be cool to be fighting through some areas of significance from previous games, as if she imagines herself running free and taking on the world alongside her friends. But that wouldn't be at the very beginning. I imagine the beginning of the game to be dark and bleak, representing Angel's fear and anxiety about being locked up, yelled at, and just living in fear of her father. Later in the story you would meet Lilith, Brick, Mordecai, and Roland, and the story would get brighter and less dreary as Angel get to see the world and her friends (Angel is hooked up to the echonet, as said in Childhood's End). Later you move onto the vault hunters from BL2, and continue with the "bright" gameplay, but instead of growing in spirit, the dreariness begins to set back in as Angel begins to feel bad for betraying her friends. Nearing the end of the DLC, the game is a mixture of bright and dreary as Angel takes a stand against Jack and fully devotes herself to her friends while also trying to come to terms with her inevitable death by their hands. The DLC ends with Angel having come to terms with her death, feeling happy that she will have aided her friends and helped save Pandora. Maybe at the end you could even bring the book to Mordecai and Brick so they could pay tribute to Angel's sacrifice (just an idea).
Finally, heres how I imagine the gameplay going. I imagine enemies in this game, instread of being regular psychos or bullymongs, being manifestations of emotions, similar to glitches in the Claptrap DLC. In the beginning, Angel is full of fear and anxiety, and this battles enemies like that (not sure exactly what, but maybe could use modified creatures from BL2 who all shout hurtful things? Or maybe come up with a new type of enemy entirely). Towards the middle, Angel is feeling happy, so maybe the enemies could be representations of doubt and self deprecation. Them towards the end, enemies would be the manifestation of guilt and regret. I imagine that Angel likely suffered from some sort of anxiety and/or depression, being treated as poorly as she was, and this could give the game a bit of a deeper meaning and would make her far more relatable. The bosses in the game could be large manifestations of the aforementioned emotions that she must overcome. Then there's the side missions. I think that side missions would be dates sprinkled in between the main story dates, and they would either be dreams, nightmares, or experiences. Dreams would be wacky missions, featuring characters acting weird, locations mixed with others, and just all all around similar to the Kreig DLC. Nightmares would be her doubts and fears on a larger scale, maybe having Angel (the player) having to kill a friend who turned on her, watch her dad get killed because of her, or something that she fears deep down. Then theres experiences, which is Angel doing something with individual or small groups of the vault hunters. Maybe one would be Salvador having a beer at the Holy Spirits Bar from BL2 and then getting attacked by the Hodunks. Another could be Zero taking on a private assassination mission, or Lilith as the Firehawk defending her lair. It would be a great way for us to get to see and get to know more of the vault hunters and other favorite characters (Maybe even Roland having a "tea party" with Tiny Tina). And as a last little idea, how about adding a new rarity of weapons called Dream Weapons? My idea is that these weapons would each have 2 manufacturer gimmicks on them, but could not be annointed. Maybe you could find a Torgue pistol with a Hyperion frontal shield, or a Jakob's shotgun with an Atlas tracker puck. A ton of farming would be needed to get a certain type of weapon with the right gimmicks, and it could be very interesting.
Anyway, that's my idea on an Angel DLC! I know this was a long post, so I appreciate it if you looked through it and I appreciate it EVEN MORE if you read it all the way through. Please tell me what ya'll think of this. Is it a great idea? A terrible one? Does it need some work or is it absolutely perfect? (Hint: It's not XD) But yeah, thanks, and give me your suggestions!
As you may have seen, I have been on sabbatical. I have been keeping notes on my phone to highlight things that have been going on with me. I have left physically left my DB relationship. I am 32, unmarried, and this has been a struggle throughout the course of our relationship. My biggest take away from all of these subs. If you're not married. If you have no children. If you aren't going to ruin your life financially. If your partner has showed no good faith efforts to meet you halfway. Then just GO. Seriously just friggin' go. I was with my boyfriend for over 3 years. A year ago, I started investing in myself. I started making a plan. And I stopped caring about putting effort into him. This post isn't about what lead to this point. But strangely enough, I still have some impulsive need to share it, that feeling doesn't go away. I still feel the word vomit of wanting to be heard. A friend of mine told me once, regarding my need to know why, he very plainly told me that you'll probably never know and that's okay. I still need to cope with this a lot. So things fell into place for this gal. Something that rarely seems to happen. I found a place. Not just any place. In my hometown, near my family. Near my support. Near the people I hold most dear. I looked at the place and fell in love with it. The first week I saw the place on a Saturday and agreed I wanted it. I could move in the following weekend. Things were in motion. My planning paid off. I had nothing holding me back. I had been spending most weekends with my family anyway and then was staying there during the week for work and my pets. So I had to go back and tell him that this was finally happened. He argued. He begged. He said I wasnt giving him a chance. But three years and plenty of chances later. That was not true. I told him I was ready to move on in my life. There were a few moments that week he became hysterical. I had to pack up an entire house in a week. And I told him that if he was going to fight with me, then it might be better for him to leave. He didn't. He was very upset about me packing. One day in particular, I took off work and he was upset this. He accused me of ripping apart the house and told me that he didn't understand until that week that I was serious. He told me the real Erica would give him the umpteenth chance but I am not the real Erica anymore. Now folks, I am a comic book enthusiast and I try to be level-headed always. But my inner She-Hulk emerged. I screamed. I screamed that how dare he pretend to know who I am. That he can hurt me for years and dare say that he deserves more chances. I told him I hated him and the person I had become with him. I told him to not say another word to me ever again. My blood pressure is soaring just thinking about it. That first week I was exhausted. I was packing and organizing and planning. I was living in tension and conflict. More than it was before. I wasn't taking good care of myself. I had support though. My family and friends were amazing. My friend and also coworker asked me what she could do. I told her to make me eat everyday. And she did. Ask for help when you need it. People will help you! It was all leading up to a big one day move. Moving myself and the two kitties. I felt bad the day I moved them. He was upset. I will touch more on that later. Moving went by without a hitch and the worst thing that happened was I somehow lost my spare car keys. I will count my blessings that was the worst. I was exhausted and my kitties were stressed. My first night in the new place I slept okay with one kitty in my arms and one kitty on my pillow. I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. I felt emotionally safe. Like I wasn't living in conflict and tension. I was finally out. It was so surreal. I did feel bad about the pets. The oldest kitty was mine but we did get one together. He loved them.bHe helped me carry them to the car. He had the day off work and spent time with them. I teared up a bit at seeing him say goodbye. He seemed more broken about that than me. He asked if he could see them sometimes. I told him he could. He hasn't asked since I left. The move occurred labor day weekend and I had some time off of work. I spent most of time with my family. It was nice. I was surprised most of all by my dad. He has always been rather quiet about feelings but he was the one while moving who pulled me aside and said "are ya alright?" He came and helped me unpack things for days. He really just went above and beyond. It was so nice realizing that people do really care and will put in effort with me. So that 2nd week, was a bit weird. Me and my ex work together. So I have been seeing him every work day for the most part. He told me I didn't need to notify work. But when we got together we had to sign some relationship notification and I also lived in an entirely new area. So I did need to do both. It's weird and awkward. I felt myself being less angry. He wasn't my problem anymore and I just ignored him. He still talks to me a lot. Like trying to be friendly. I wish he would just leave me alone. The week after that I was finally settling in a routine. Work was notified and it wasn't too weird. A few odd questions here and there. But all in all, fine. This peace I have, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am thankful for planning. So if you are having doubts in your relationship, plan and invest some of that energy in yourself. But Erica, what about sex? What about it? I feel free to live as I want and enjoy sexual feelings without feeling negatively associated feelings. I am not currently dating nor do I feel much need to. I am investing time in my healing and caring for my own needs. Part of my healing plan is very strange but maybe it's not. I bought a new mattress and bedroom furniture. I don't want to sleep on this DB mattress. I want a fresh start. I want it to feel sexy and comfortable and loving. Because I love myself and I deserve it. And I'll have a fresh bedroom and a new untainted bed of all the sexless evenings and bad feelings. It feels very empowering. To all you wonderful, sexy people, I hope that whether you choose to stay or leave, in you endeavors to stay or leave. I hope that at the end of the day you find this peace. You can sleep soundly at night with your partner or alone in your bed. That you feel happy with who you are and loved and cherished by the people you care about. That you love and cherish yourself. I could've never gotten to this point without you all. Thank you all my bottom of my heart.
Alright boys the cops are on to me for robbing that bank with all the jewelry and below melt gold, so I need to get this shit out of my house ASAP. I don't have time to lose so lets start emptying some wallets!To the FBI: No I didn't actually rob a bank. **Prices have been slashed from my last sale!*\* Proof: https://www.imgur.com/a/qOoRoN8 PLEASE READ EVERYTHING, I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON IT! Diversify your stack with some bling bling! For sale today I have a wide assortment of silver and gold jewelry! Get some some wearable silver and impress all the ladies! Guaranteed to potentially, maybe, help you get a date.Results not guaranteed, please don't sue me. Tired of looking at silver and gold? Of course you aren't, but you should definitely pick up some copper rounds with relatively low premium to help balance out your stack! For all the coin collectors I also have a wide assortment of mercury dimes, liberty nickels, and walking liberty halves. Let me know what your looking for and I'll see what I can do! I can provide more pictures of each item up close upon request! ALL PRICES ARE NEGOTIABLE! IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY PRICES, THEN HAGGLE!! I'D RATHER SELL IT TO ONE OF MY BOYSOR GIRLSON REDDIT THAN TO SOME WEIRD GUY ON EBAY! BUY 5 ITEMS AND GET FREE SHIPPING! ANY PACKAGE OVER $300 GETS FREE INSURANCE ON ME! _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Gold Chains/Necklaces:
\**The Big Willy Special™**\** This sale'sBig Willy Special™isTwo 1 Oz Copper Bullets! You know how silver bullets are super effective against Werewolves?? Well these, just like every other bullet, are super effective against people! They're twins, and get lonely when they're apart so they must be bought together for $15! Buy themandall the copper rounds above for $75! That's, like, 20% off!! Buying this item automatically gives youfree shippingon your entire order!! Disclaimer: These are not live rounds! _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Shipping: I do not make any money off shipping. Priority is $8. First Class is $5. I'll even be willing to risky ship it for $2. However, as soon as I drop off the package at the post office, I am no longer responsible if some shit happens to your package in transit. That ain't on me man. If you purchase in the next 12 hours your package will ship Wednesday morning on my way to pick up some more items from two different estate sale auctions that I won! Hint Hint! Be on the lookout for my future sales! _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: I am not a professional jeweler; I'm just a hillbilly that got lucky at an estate sale. These pieces were all verified as Sterling Silver or Gold by the auction company not by me, and not by my Momma, although she did say they were purty. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Payment: I accept the following forms of payment in decreasing order of preference: Your Firstborn Child Venmo PPFF Cashapp Crypto (BTC, ETH, LTC) _____________________________________________________________________________________________ If you have any questions feel free to PM me! I'm always willing to try and work out a deal.
2020.09.29 10:33 SenaNarumiFan18Here With Me (A Lumity [Luz x Amity Songfic)
At first, Luz and Amity had started on the wrong foot. Amity despised Luz for quote on quote "embarrassing her and ruining her life." With the Abomination Incident, The Witch's duel incident, and the little minor issue in the library, Amity grew to hate her more and more. Though, after the library incident, they started try and get along better. There weren't on the friends terms yet but they started to get along better. When they ran into each other at The Knee. They grew even closer with one another. Over time, they eventually grew a respect for one another and are now officially friends, close friends surprisingly. Luz helped Amity to open up about her feelings and problems more. They started to hang out with each other more and more and grew a trust and bond with each other. Luz started to grow some brand new feelings, though. It was a strange heartache of some sort. Not from spicy food or anything. Perhaps, it was love. At the Owl House Eda was busy with brewing a strange looking potion of some sort as King was wearing some sort of paper crown pretending that he was some evil demon overlord. Nothing out of the ordinary. Eda then puts some sort of potion to animate some vegetables. The vegetables then came to life growing some arms and legs. "Alright everyone in the pot. Come on, let's go." Eda demanded as she was motioning her hand to the pot which was boiling and bubbling. All of the vegetables screamed as they all ran away "Dang it, this happens every single time" Eda whined as she crosses her arms and grumbled in frustration. Suddenly, Luz barged into the house. "Guys! Guys!" Luz exclaimed as she ran into the house waving her hands out in a panic. She had the facial expression of worry while yelling that. "Is someone on fire? Hoot?" Hooty asked as he turned his head to the others. Luz slammed the door completely ignoring Hooty. "Woah hey kiddo, watch the door. If it breaks, you're paying for it." Eda groaned as she crossed her arms "I'm sorry Eda, but it's an emergency! This is not a drill" Luz screamed. "Oh sugar honey iced tea. Is the Emperor's Coven here? I can't afford to go back to jail." Eda mumbled putting her hands in the air "Not this time. Amity is coming over. For Azura Book Club. We need this place to look good." Luz said as she walked closer to Eda King ran to them and said. "Ooooooo, ya mean your girlfriend?" He smirked while making kissing noises as he pretends to make out with someone Luz blushed crimson from all over her face to the tips of her ears. "AMITY IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" "Yet." King chimed in "Sure she ain't." Eda smirked. "Alright kid, we'll help make this place look good for your little girlfriend. That green haired girl what's her face, uh...Amy. Or was it Amelia..." "It's Amity." Luz corrected Eda as she looked confused. "Same difference. By the way, try not to go to home run with her while she visits. If ya know what I mean" Eda said while she smirked "EDA!" Luz yelled as she blushed of embarrassment as images of her and Amity at "Home run" and not the baseball kind of home run. "Kidding, just kidding." Eda chuckled as she ruffles Luz's hair. A little bit later, Luz was pacing back and forth as she was thinking. "Dang, I need a way to confess my feelings. But...how?" In her head, 'Hmmm, maybe I should confess my feelings for her. But every time I try, I end up looking like an awkward dork. I'll need to practice on someone but who?' King was walking by holding his stuffed rabbit/chief minion Francios. Luz the gives King a small smirk. "Uhhhhh...why are you giving me that look?" King asked as his tone of voice and slight fear. Luz then gets out a mint green wig King's face then fell into a deadpan expression. "Oh no. I probably know where this is going." He grumbled. Meanwhile, Amity was at her house in her bedroom. She then got her Azura book. She tries to sneak out of the house as quietly as she could in order to avoid being caught by her siblings. One of the last things she needed was her siblings Emira and Edric egging her on about her crush on Luz. Amity actually likes Luz back, though she doesn't want to admit it. In anime terms, this is the definition of a tsundere. Amity was quietly tip toed getting close to the front door. In her head, 'Just a little more and I'm home free.' Unfortunately, her two siblings appeared behind her. So much for sneaking out. "Oh Mittens." Edric and Emira called in a singsong teasing voice as they had smirks on her face. "Dang it." Amity grumbled as she had a frustrated expression on her face. She then turns over to her older siblings. "What is it?" "Is our baby sister going out on her first date at book club?" Emira smirked "What?! No!" Amity yelled defensively as she blushed. "Come on Mittens. It's soooo obvious. You're crushing on Luz." Edric egged on. "Remember a while back?" ~Flashback from a while back~ Amity had just finished creating an abomination. This abomination happened to resemble Luz "So uhhh Luz. I wanted to tell you something." Amity started as she blushed and rubs her left arm with her right hand. Emira and Edric walked into Amity's room. "Mittens. Mom said that it's time for dinner-" Edric was cut off when he and his twin sister saw what was going on between Amity and the abomination Luz Amity stopped what she was doing and simply stares at her older siblings with a pale white face. There was a moment of awkward silence. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Eventually, the twins slowly stepped back so she could get back to well...whatever Amity's doing Amity panicked as she flails her arms around like a madwoman as she blushed and stammered. "W-wait guys! I can explain! Please don't tell Luz nor anyone from school! Em?! Ed?! ~Flashback ends~ Amity glared at the twins as she was blushing red, looking super embarrassed. "I thought we all agreed that we'd never bring that up again." "It's so obvious that we could see it from all the way at the other side of the Boiling Isles." Edric chuckled as he ruffled Amity's hair messing it up a little. Amity growls as she shoved Edric's hand away from her and then fixes up her hair so it could look neat again "Hey I just did my hair!" She barked as she now fixed her hair. "Okay okay. We'll stop." Emira said smiling. " Have fun on your date~~" She made kissy noises. "For the last time. It is not a date." Amity said as she opened the front door. "You two anyone from school, I will sue you both." She threatened as she went outside and closed the door behind her. She then began to walk to make her way to the Owl House. "Mittens said we can't tell anyone from school about her 'not date'." Emira said as she crosses her arms. "Buuut...she didn't say we could make a post about it on Penstagram." Edric argued with a mischievous smile. The green haired twins crossed their arms looking at each other with malicious smirks. "Oh this is gonna be sooooo good." They snickered. Oh god. Meanwhile, At The Owl House, "Sooo, uh, Amity...uhh...sup?" Luz said as she was trying to lean and act cool but ended up looking totally awkward. King, who was wearing an Amity wig was crossing his arms. Luz wanted to practice talking to Amity. He then takes off the wig and slammed it down to the ground. He stamped his little paw on it "I feel ridiculous! Just cuz I have a model's body, doesn't mean you can dress me up like some doll!" He then let's out his scream of rage. It was high pitched and squeaky. He then runs off to somewhere else in the Owl House. Eda fell on the floor laughing as she held her stomach, kicking her legs. "Haha, he sounds like a tea kettle." She laughed "Well there goes my practice." Luz sighed. "Well there's only one thing to do Luz. Just be chill." Luz once again was once again trying to lean and act cool. Once again failing miserably which looked pathetic to watch that could give nearly anyone the feeling of second hand embarrassment. Meanwhile, Amity finally had reached the Owl House. She looked at the house and simple knocked on the door. "Hey little girl." Hooty said as he tilted his head. "AHHHH!" Amity screamed as she jumped up in fear and then fell flat on her butt. She groaned as she got up and dusted herself off. She picked up the book that she dropped by accident when she fell. "Ohhh, uhhhh....hey is Luz here?" Amity asked as she blushed slightly. "Oh Luz is-" Hooty was cut off by Eda swinging the door open. "Oh hey....uhhh Ashley?" "Amity." Amity corrected. "Oh yeah one of Luz's schoolmates." Eda recalled. "Come in." She said Amity nodded as she walked into the house as she looked around. She then spotted Luz still continuing to make an attempt to lean back. "Uhhh Luz?" Amity asked as she looked very confused at the scene that she was witnessing before her very eyes "AMITY?! OH CRAMITY!" Luz yelped as she the tripped and fell falling flat on her butt. She the groaned "Ugh! My butt!" She groaned as she then got up and the rubs her bottom as she then said. "Oh uh sup Amity?" She said Amity couldn't help but giggle at Luz's actions finding it quite funny and adorable. A light pink blush brushed up upon her cheeks. "Hey Luz." Luz clears her throat and then goes to her usual cheerful self "So ready for this weeks meeting of the Azura Book Club?" Luz asked with an excited smile "You know it Luz." Amity replied as she smiled at her. The two headed into Luz's room. They spent the next while reading and chatting about major events that were happening in the book. They spent time goofing around reenacting scenes from the book in the characters voices. At the end, they both laughed happily from having too much fun with each other. "What another eventful session." Amity commented as she takes the hair tie out of her hair leaving her hair down. She waves her hair a little to try to get some of the hair out of the way of her eyes. Luz had a shocked expression on her face as blushed seeing Amity's hair down for the very first time ever. "Wow Amity...this is the first time I've seen your hair down." "What's wrong does it look bad?" Amity asked as she frowns "What? No no. It's not bad at all. In fact, the complete opposite really. You look very pretty with your hair down." Luz complimented as she scratched the back of her head. "Uhhh thank you Luz. That's very kind of you to say." Amity thanked her as she too had a blush appear on her cheeks. "Hey Amity. There's something I wanna tell you." Luz said as she then gets up. "Oh? What is it?" Amity asked curiously as she gets up as well. "I don't really know how to explain it. It's this feeling...of heartache for some reason." Luz said. "Oh? Are you sick?" Amity asked "No...it's just...well....I kinda....ya see....Hmmm..." Luz was having a hard time expressing her feelings. Luz and Amity suddenly heard some music from who knows where. Luz then got this idea. Why say your feelings when you can sing your feelings. "Uh where is that music coming from?" Amity asked looking around. Luz shrugged as she and Amity looked through the window. "How I sing you my feelings instead." Luz suggested. "There is music so mine as well use it." Amity looked confused still. She and Luz looked out the window as Luz took a deep breathe and smiled and started to sing as she leaned on her hand with her elbow on the window "Can I tell you something just between you and me?" Luz then touched Amity by her arm causing Amity to look down at it as she blushed slightly and smiled. "When I hear your voice, I know I'm finally free" Amity then looked up at Luz with a slightly surprised look on her face. Luz started blushing too as she placed her hands on her own cheeks. "Every single word is perfect as it can be And I need you here with me" Luz and Amity began to touch foreheads as they both started to blush even more, their blushes eventually reaching towards their ears. Luz then grabbed Eda's staff and takes Amity by the hand out to the rooftops of the Owl House. Amity blushed as she felt her fingers intertwine with Luz's as they held hands and walked onto the roof. "When you lift me up, I know that I'll never fall I can speak to you by saying nothing at all" Amity could't help as her hair blew slightly from the movement and the breeze from outside. Her eyes were closed as she had a joyful open mouthed smile on her face as tints of red blush were on her cheeks. The two stood there on the roof as they were standing a foot or two away from each other as their hands were still touching. The wind blow from outside made their hair and their clothes blow into the breeze slightly. Eventually the two's fingers untangled from each other as their hands parted from each other. "Every single time, I find it harder to breathe 'Cause I need you here with me" Luz stood back a little more as she smiled brightly and had her hands and the staff behind and continued to sing as Amity got her hair tie and started to tie her hair up back into her original ponytail. "Every day You're saying the words that I want you to say" Luz stood up straight as she then scratched the back of her neck with a blush. "There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away" Luz suddenly felt a hand on her arm. She looked and noticed that Amity's hand was on it. She was giving Luz a sweet smile as she blushed. Luz was blushing too as she smiled and continue to sing. "Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me" Luz then smiled and takes Amity's hand and twirls her around and spent the entire time dancing as Luz serenade's her. "Every day You're saying the words that I want you to say There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me" Luz then had her arms around Amity's waist while Amity was looking away a bit shyly. "I think I see your face in every place that I go I try to hide it, but I know that it's gonna show Every single night, I find it harder to sleep 'Cause I need you here with me" The two went back to dancing as Luz sings to her. Luz picked up and held her. Amity squeaked a little and blushed as she was a bit surprised by Luz's actions. "Everyday You're saying the words that I want you to say There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me" Luz puts her back down as the two went back to dancing. Luz continued to sing. "Every day You're saying the words that I want you to say There's a pain in my heart and it won't go away Now I know I'm falling in deep 'Cause I need you here with me" Luz soon held Amity close as she softly sings. "Can I tell you something just between you and me? When I hear your voice, I know I'm finally free Every single word is perfect as it can be 'Cause I need you here with me" The music from where ever it's coming from soon finished. Amity couldn't help but blush and tear up a little from getting a bit emotional. "Wow, Luz, that was very beautiful." "I guess that I'm trying to say is....I like you Amity." Luz said while blushing. "Luz....I...I like you too." Amity said back as she blushed more and smiled softly. Meanwhile, King was running to Eda as he had two pillows tied around his skull head. One pillow on each side of it. "EDA! LUZ IS SINGING AGAIN!" "I know pipsqueak. Why do ya think I'm covering my ears?" Eda asked as both her hands were detached from her arms and her index fingers were plugging her ears. "Bleh. I mean, "love is love" and whatever but all this flowery and romantic garbage is literally making me sick." "Where did that music even come from? And what song was that?" King asked "Dunno. The music is probably one of those hippity-hoppity dance music you young people listen to these days." Eda answered. "Hey Eda. Where's your staff?" King asked noticing that the staff went missing. "My sta-" Eda also saw and noticed that it was gone too. She growls as she grits her teeth. "LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ!" Meanwhile, Luz and Amity were holding each other in a loving embrace. They looked into their eyes with love and content. Soon, they slowly started to lean in towards each other very slowly for a kiss. Unfortunately, before they could lock their lips, Amity noticed that the twins were spying on them this entire time. Edric and Emira used their scrolls as they were recording the whole thing. "This is sooooooo going on Penstagram." Edric said. "Haha! Mittens and Luuuuz sitting in a tree!" Emira called in a teasing sing song voice. Amity screamed in bloody murder at the top of her lungs as she then released Luz. "Ed! Em! What in the heck are you two doing?!" Amity asked as she looked scarred, surprised and even a bit annoyed and angry. "We just had to watch our baby sister's first love confession." They said in baby talk voices as they smirked. "DELETE THAT VIDEO NOW!" Amity yelled at them as she shook her fist at them. "Gotta catch us first Mittens!" The twins called as they started running around laughing. "You two won't get away with this!" Amity yelled as she then runs into the window. Luz pouted as she crossed her arms. "So much for getting a kiss." She mumbled. Amity overheard this and sighed and rolled her eyes and then walked back to Luz and gave her a kiss on the cheek as blush appears on both of their cheeks. "There." Amity mumbled. "Just note. I just did that to shut you up." she lied. The real version she did that was because she wanted to and also, like heck she was going to leave without a smooch. Amity then goes through the window and began running all the way down to the bottom floor of the Owl House and exits out. She panted and sprinted after the laughing, running twins. "YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Amity yelled as she runs after them. Eda then opens the door and exits out. "LUZ YOU ARE SOOOO-huh?" She looked over and then sees Amity chasing down the twins around in circles around and in front of the Owl House. "What the-" Eda started "DUCK!" King cheered as he was squeaking a rubber ducky. "Is going on?" Eda asked as she saw the twins. "Oh cool, it's a throw down, I got 20 snails on uh, what's her face, Amber something? Ah who cares? Let's just watch three clowns tussle. I'll bust Luz about my staff later." "YEAH! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! I WANNA SEE BLOOD AND TEETH KNOCKED OUT!" King cheered as he pumped his fist. As for Luz, she was standing still and was frozen due to being parallelized by Amity's kiss. She felt as if she was stuck in her shoes yet felt a satisfactory feeling of ecstasy. She blushed red having her hand touch the spot on her cheek she was kissed on. She then broke out of her paralysis as she then started to do s toothy grin as she pumped her fist. "HECK YEAH! NAILED IT!" She then thinks 'Hopefull Eda doesn't notice her staff is missing.' "Don't think you're off the hook and getting away with this!" Luz heard Eda called. Luz gulped. "Sugar honey iced tea." You can also find this fanfic on my other accounts on Ao3, Deviant Art, and Wattpad. They’re all called FlutterDashFan18 https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlutterDashFan18/pseuds/FlutterDashFan18 https://www.deviantart.com/flutterdashfan18 https://www.wattpad.com/useFlutterDashFan18
2020.09.29 02:29 AsaTJCrusader Kings 3 Patch 1.1 Notes: What They Actually Mean
Just because your dad is an asshole and called you a failure and cast you out of the family doesn't mean no one anywhere in the world will ever let you inherit anything. I mean, he was probably right about you but if you get on a boat to India they probably won't know or care yet.
If you spend hundreds of ducats of your own money building a fabulous new church, God's not gonna just be like "sure fine whatever I guess"
Lower-rank clan rulers won't get penalties for failing to have an entire harem anime going on.
If you are below the waifu quota for your rank, though, God is gonna be twice as mad about it. He tunes in to this show to ship you with various hotties and nothing on heaven or earth will save you if you fail to deliver.
Partition was all kinds of fucked up and would often explode from even momentary contact with certain other game mechanics. We're sorry. We're working on it.
Courtiers who you had an illicit love child with are less likely to dump the baby in your lap and disappear forever and not even pay child support.
Refusing a call to arms now does something, up from basically nothing.
It's now much harder to make literally everyone in the world love you just because you read a lot of books on rhetoric. Sorry political youtubers.
Characters should now experience a gradual decrease in fertility instead of knocking up all three concubines with quadruplets one day and suddenly having their balls turn to dust and blow away in the wind the next.
Greedy characters will no longer gain stress from giving away a city or temple, because as we all know, administering anything that isn't a castle gives poor feudal lords the hurty brain and it's just not practical to expect them to do it.
Heresies should no longer replace like 90% of all Catholic counties by two weeks in to every 867 game.
Inheritance succession can now go up to 6 generations upwards to find a distant relative rather than just 3 in case, say, you ended up getting the first 20 people in line for the throne killed because you keep forgetting to go click Forbid on the Knights screen.
It's now much harder to murder someone you're at war with and practically impossible to abduct them because they've seen the exploit videos, too, and they're not falling for that bullshit again.
Knights who are constantly swinging swords around and not getting killed will probably get better at it over time.
The Emperor of the HRE or any similarly impressive realm is probably not going to immediately prostrate himself and accept your weirdo naked incest religion even if you declared a holy war and are somewhat stronger than him.
You can no longer ask the Pope for money while at war with the Papacy. Just sack Rome and take it. Asking is for schmucks.
Tribal leaders who have massive armies that get paid in exposure will no longer have a harder time becoming famous for some reason.
That dumbass Radulf is now somewhat less likely to somehow get himself maimed multiple times in battles where you had a 3-to-1 numbers advantage.
Being in debt now does something, up from basically nothing.
Lustful characters will no longer lose stress every time they fail at No Nut November.
The Mongols are legit scary now and they heard you've been talkin' shit.
Weak realms are now much more likely to agree to subjugation by the Mongol Empire, unless you're the Shah of Khwarazm and have a nail in your brain or something.
Telling your failson to go shave his head and live in a dark building he's not allowed out of where he can only eat bread and sing hymns no longer gives you piety, because never having to see him again is its own reward.
That mission in KCD was pretty cool though, huh?
The AI is now reluctant to betroth boys to old women, even ones that have been described as total QILFs.
AI rulers should no longer recruit claimants to their court who are like, fifth in line for some desert village they've never heard of clear over on a different continent.
AI rulers who are bankrupt and facing rebellion should no longer froth at the mouth and scream from the parapets that they refuse to so much as discuss a white peace until you hit 350% warscore.
We've introduced a cap to living dynasty member Renown gain so you can't just rush all the perks by having 5000 stupid, ugly babies.
The Inbred trait is now less likely to be passed on as long as you don't take an already Inbred character and continue to inbreed them. We know you're gonna do it anyway, of course. You're all gross.
Successful Crusaders should no longer fold to a faction demand and convert to Islam 100% of the time.
Clan vassals who aren't allowed to bang at least one of your kids are going to be way more angry now, especially if they're powerful.
Partition succession should now look mostly at splitting up the total number of base level counties evenly, rather than saying Louis gets less land because he gets to keep the fancier hat, leaving him with like a third of the levies of each of his brothers to defend a realm that is now on the express train to disaster.
Björn Ironside has sat down with all of his vassals and explained to them that he probably can't protect them if they go conquer like, fucking Cyprus or something and they should prioritize grabbing counties that are at least within a few months' sailing distance of Scandinavia.
Said vassals should also concentrate on conquering counties in a single, contiguous geographic region now, instead of trying to, I don't fucking know, have at least one outpost in every de jure kingdom on the map? What exactly was your logic, there? It's not like you're grabbing centers of trade. This isn't EU4. Calm down and finish your Wales before you start trying to dominate North Africa.
When you win a Crusade, some of the Crusaders who came with you should stay around and help you man the fortifications instead of being like "gg c ya"
Wandering characters with absurd amounts of gold will now tend to spend it all on improving themselves booze and hookers so you can't invite them to dinner and then accuse them of witchcraft and seize all of their wealth.
AI spouses are finally getting over their netorare phase. Like, we get it but jeez. Find a new tag to follow.
The Alans in 867 have no longer somehow completely forgotten how to do horse archery.
The Pope will no longer let Catholics form the Empire of Germania. You'll have to create the HRE instead, unless you wanted to maybe Protest his authority.
Dynasty of Many Crowns now rewards you with something more than a shitty intramural soccer trophy that probably cost like $12
Peasant leaders may now pay their rabble in exposure.
You can no longer get the living legend achievement by simply starting a game as Haesteinn. It was simply OP to allow him to be as cool as we all know he was.
Characters whose religion involves reincarnation are less likely to reincarnate from a really shitty ancestor.
Alexandria is no longer a holy site for an East African religion practiced mainly by people who have never heard of Alexandria.
The AI will no longer go nuts writing long facebook posts about how all of your children are illegitimate that your dumbass vassals will read and believe in.
German vassals with Stammesherzogtum unlocked should now realize they can wield more power squeezing the desiccated corpse of the empire than they could claiming independence from it.
The Restore the HRE decision requirements are now Kinda Reasonable, down from Fucking Ludicrous.
You will now get ticking warscore against independence factions for holding any land in any of the rebel territories, not just the capital of the asshole who started it.
Brutally killed North Korea Mode. You're bad for using it and you should feel bad.
The AI should no longer decide in the middle of a war that a boat trip would be fun when the wargoal is like a kilometer away by land.
Vassals of a cowardly liege will no longer pretend to be cowardly when he's in the room to make him feel better.
Allied AI ultra-doomstacks should no longer roll up like "hey wyd" and try to have a chat with you while you're doing a siege if it would cause both armies to lose thousands of hapless souls to disease and starvation.
Varangians have been reminded that they're river vikings and they should stop trying to appropriate ocean viking culture.
The AI should no longer nope out with their 4000 troops, leaving your 3000 to fight a 5000 stack and get half your court killed when it would have been an easy win if they could have pulled their pants up and stayed still.
AI characters are less likely to join a claimant faction for a one-eyed, one-legged 90-year-old with leprosy and brain cancer.
AI understands that "matrilineal" marriage doesn't actually mean anything if you're keeping it in the family like a proper Crusader Kings player.
Your freaking worthless father-in-law should no longer call you into three consecutive offensive wars for one shitty tribal county when you're trying to desperately defend against a full-scale invasion of bloodthirsty foreigners.
AI characters who aren't of the same religion as a holy order will no longer be chill just letting the Templars hang out in one of their cities sharpening their swords and singing songs about how all heathens must die.
Lower-tier Norse rulers will be less likely to decide it sounds fun to sail all the way to Sri Lanka or something to raid when there is plenty of pillage to be had nearby.
Allied AI armies now have object permanence and understand that just because we can't see the enemy right now doesn't mean you can safely fuck off across the kingdom to siege some worthless barony and leave the player's army alone to get rekt the next time the bad guys show up.
The AI has been reminded that this game doesn't have naval combat so you don't have to row full-speed away from an approaching enemy fleet. Poseidon will rise from the seas and make sure no one is allowed to hurt each other's boats or anyone on them.
A whole bunch of other AI changes that could be at least partly solved by adding an "allow attachment" button to player armies.
AI will no longer treat enemy armies marching through neutral territory as "out of bounds" and therefore completely unable to be attacked.
AI will no longer park its second army right next to a relatively even battle in progress and kick back like, "I think you guys got this handled."
The little suggestions widget thingy will now let you know when a vassal is mad because you're not his rightful liege, and his rightful liege is mad because you're giving immediacy to his vassal, and it would have been really nice if someone had brought this to my attention before you both went and joined the independence faction because it's extremely easy to fix.
Added explanation for the Unreformed Pagan Combat Bonus, which there's like a 60% chance you didn't even know existed until right this second.
Clicking a region in a cultural innovation tooltip now highlights it on the map, which I guess is okay but I'm still unsure why we don't have a regions mapmode.
You can no longer include an "OR ELSE!" clause in a vassal contract that is fair and both of you already agreed upon amicably.
Fixed the " has no reason to stay at court" message claiming the child is your stepbrother or sister rather than child. Although knowing you lot, it's very possible that they're both.
Fixed the Find Concubine window in some cases showing someone who is already your concubine. Listen, he just reinstalled the app as a joke. Why are you getting so upset about this?
The little icon that tells you how likely you are to win a battle should no longer be completely full of shit most of the time.
Fixed the game sometimes claiming a marriage has no chance of children despite both parties being fertile. Like, yes, she is way out of your league but I think her sense of duty is at least sufficient to lay back and think of the realm.
Victory screen for Crusades in which you didn't get any land should now tell you exactly how little your sacrifices mattered instead of simply saying it didn't.
Fixed unpause tooltip in single-player sometimes saying "Game is Paused by U̵͈̳̠̼͉̲͙̣̎̓̍̆͋͛̋͋͘͜͡N̸̨̲͈̗̱͎͂͋̿̿͒̕͢͜ͅK̨̛̙̙̮̻̯̫̙͒͗̀͘͜͞͞Ņ̹̗̗͙̳̫̈́̽̒̔̌͒͆́̕͞ͅO̷̡̧͙̖̮͉͂̈͒̾̓̇̈̚͘͡ͅŴ̸̡̢͓̜̠̫͙̙̩̀͆̋͊͗̐̉͡Ǹ̵̛̞̟̼̑͗͊̂̏͘̚͟͜"
Fixed you in some cases getting a "your child can marry" notification for someone you have no power to marry off, so you can call them and bug them about it repeatedly.
Hovering over options in the dropdowns in the Barber Shop will now show the resulting change on your character model so you don't have to spend twice as much time trying on hats as you do actually playing the game.
Made it clear in the Knight game concept that Knights represent both the character and their retinue of troops, even though everyone's head canon is going to say that they did personally cause 30 casualties because that's way more metal.
Made sure the friends panel can be expanded if at 8 or more, even though you will never have that many friends.
The "Pending Crusade Participation" alert now only shows up if the head of faith would actually be upset at you for not participating. You've disappointed him enough by now that he probably doesn't care.
The game will no longer claim that your guest's claim on a title that's already in your realm, or which has no holder, is useful
You now get a notification in the lower-right corner when a part of your realm gets sieged by someone you're hostile to, which is information that I guess your marshal didn't think you needed to have until just now.
South Indian/Dravidian characters no longer look like they were dunked in flour.
Also added Slavic, East African, and Arctic visual ethnicities. Remember when we would charge actual money for this and half the time it looked like they escaped from a haunted wax museum? Rejoice that we now live in more enlightened times.
Improved teenager animations to not be neutral and really get across the VIOLENT STORM OF PAIN AND ANGER IN THEIR SOOOOOOOULS
Added an alternative text for holy war if one has the pluralist doctrine to explain that it's like, you know, just kind of a chill holy war, dude.
Added description for Parliament Special Building explaining that this one structure which grants some passive modifiers meant to represent an entire sea change in the understanding of the role of a monarch is hopefully just a placeholder for adding real council mechanics back in later.
Changed the "Consolamentum" tenet to "Ritual Suicide" for anyone but Catholics so non-Catholics don't have to go look up what the fuck that word even means.
Children who are believed to be the reincarnation of a really shitty ancestor will no longer act super stoked about it.
Fixed a scope mis-match in the lover reveal event which caused the event to describe people having affairs with themselves. We all do it but the entire court doesn't need to hear about it, okay?
Re-named the 'West African' culture group to 'Guinean' to get everyone speculating about if we might add the Kongo later.
Renamed the Wendish Empire to the Southern Baltic Empire, which is a monumentally less cool but I suppose more inclusive name.
Updated the tooltip for Divine Marriage to clarify how it works even though we thought the memes had explained this pretty well by now.
Added a notification toast when your liege changes to inform you who your new liege is and why they became your new liege. Which, again, you'd think someone on your council would have thought to inform you about this rather important piece of information before now.
Broke up some of the ridiculous turbokingdoms at game start in freezing, pastoral Northern Scandinavia.
Made the Guiyi Curcuit an independent realm in 867 to help ease the pain of waiting for the inevitable China expansion.
Aquitaine is sexist and has been cancelled
We made up some extra Cumans specifically to prevent bordergore so don't say we never did anything for you.
Kashmiris no longer start with elephants because it's honestly not a great place to raise elephants.
Socotra is now part of the Duchy of Socotra. Aswan is still not in the Duchy of Aswan for some reason but we're getting around to it.
The Aghlabids are no longer independent in 867 because they weren't.
Volga Bulgaria is now feudal in 1066, because all the other steppe khanates had already labelled them as lame asses by then.
You can no longer farm Devotion by telling your court architect to start building something that costs a bunch of piety and then kicking it over and telling him to go home on the second day.
You no longer have to change at least one thing when reforming a pagan faith to prove that you're hip and modern.
Fix unnecessarily handling controller input and rotating/zooming the camera, which is something 90% of you didn't know you could do until just now.
If your religion requires approval for divorce but has no religious head, guess what asshole, I'm the queen so I'm the one that gives approval. Now get out of my sight before I have to have you dragged out of it.
Fix war participant tooltip not listing the number of knights but just repeating the word knight
Fixed an issue where, as a prank, you would tell some rando that came along on the Crusade that they were getting the county of Jerusalem just so you could immediately laugh in their face and take it away.
Fixed excommunication being available for faiths with Communion but non-spiritual heads. Malcolm is just up there chugging the blood of Christ and scratching his ass but there's nothing we can legally do about it.
Listen closely. I know he's well-spoken but no matter what the prince tells you, word of his father's death and his ascension to the throne does not grant him a "Get Out of Jail Free Card," you oaf.
The Reclaim Britannia decision no longer changes effects based on dejure drift. It's a damn island and it all belongs rightfully to the Celts.
Children should no longer run away from home purely out of boredom.
A faction will no longer courteously greet you before calling you a tyrant. It's called sarcasm but you spend your days torturing small animals and banging your sisters so we probably shouldn't have expected you to get it.
It is no longer possible to farm guardianship events by repeatedly encouraging your child to engage in animal abuse. I can't believe we're actually having to patch this but I guess nothing should surprise me at this point.
"Know Thyself" will no longer result in you getting daily texts from the reaper telling you the number of days until the Big Day and how excited he is.
Added an alert for when you have no player heir to your titles but there's someone landed in your dynasty still alive somewhere because of a marriage you totally forgot about arranging like 200 years ago. So anyway I hope you like Siberia.
Made it easier to kill grandma.
Added triggers to notifications so that marshal vassals don't gain opinion of themselves when they do something good. That asshole is already full of himself enough as it is. Yeah, yeah, tell us about the Battle of Acre again. We're not tired of that story at all, you old fuck. Get back to work. I don't want to have to fight another populist rabble.
Babies will no longer be assigned commander traits through a yearly event. I know everyone wants to brag about how smart your kid is but I'll believe he can pull off a double envelopment when he stops shitting in his pants.
Blocked Vlach rulers from taking the Unite the Slavs and Unite the Southern Slavs decisions after realizing that our Somewhat More Arbitrary new way of doing non-linguistic culture groups has some drawbacks.
Blocked the seduction of characters who are imbeciles or incapable. Again, not necessarily surprised we had to do this. Just disappointed.
Rad ass hats are now mandatory in the Byzantine Empire.
Characters who become wanderers are now less likely to just nope out of any relationships and vanish, leaving confused loved ones behind.
The Adamites have finally made a ruling on capes: Funny but no.
Children under 4 should no longer be lecturing their peers about theology.
You can't force someone in your prison to educate your shitty kids. Torture them. Maim them. Anything but that.
Children will no longer demand you hold a feast even though that seems like exactly the kind of thing your shitty, spoiled kids would do.
Courtiers of Theocracies and Mercenaries will no longer wear inappropriate clothes. We're trying to sell this as an honest operation, Helgi. Gods dammit take that ridiculous thing off.
Crusader Helmets will now always show up when appropriate, which is at all times.
Devouring people will now have a clearer impact on your stress level. I still have several questions.
Tribal MaA who are paid in exposure won't give you a discount on the amount of exposure based on traits you have that normally decrease upkeep.
You can now tell a vassal who is mad that you're "not their rightful king" to sit down and shut up because you're the damn EMPEROR.
Taking someone as a concubine against their will might upset their family. You know, just a little.
No longer possible to farm divorces for personal profit. sigh
Fixed an error which caused the event 'Differences in Faith' to trigger for counties of your own religion even though that's basically what was going on everywhere all the time.
Fixed an inverted value that caused children with a 'bad' education affinity to do better at their education than children with a 'good' affinity even though everyone who has ever been labeled "gifted" relates to that pretty hard. (Credit for this joke goes to Rowan)
Fixed being able to send multiple Blackmail interactions to the same character while waiting for their first response because you keep coming up with even more fucked up things to threaten them with and just can't wait to talk about it.
Fixed broken god reference in a death transition text.
Fixed embracing English culture sometimes converting landed spouses or family members without their consent, even though that would be pretty accurate to English history.
Fixed lowborns getting kinslayer traits when murdering other lowborns. The proper trait for this is "Class Traitor".
Fixed the kingdom of Pontus capital being set outside its de jure area. The capital is now set a-WAIT WHAT THE FUCK PONTUS IS IN THIS GAME??
Guardians will no longer keep teaching your kids after fleeing the realm. We just didn't have the technology for distance learning in 867.
Guests with claims on your vassal's vassal's titles will no longer show up at your court and then be like, "Oh... well this is awkward."
Head of Faith looks at incest as a divorce reason based on faith's doctrines, so you can be like Henry VIII but with your own siblings. Don't pretend like you weren't already thinking it.
Historical characters will no longer be their own parent. But we're sure you would be if we gave you that option.
If you promise a vassal to educate their child they will now be miffed if you try to return the child after it turns out that they suck and you don't want to deal with it.
You no longer get tyranny for putting someone in horny jail if the secret is known and adultery is criminal in your faith.
Many achievements are now possible, up from impossible.
It's now possible to negotiate an alliance even if your family is very inbred. So all of you can finally use the alliance mechanic now.
Secret lovers should no longer expose themselves at a feast by trying to copulate through the bars if one of them is in prison.
Lowborn bastards no longer try to belong to a House. They dun wan it.
Lowered the amount of gold the recipient needs to have to unlock the Demand Payment interaction. Apparently my landlord worked on this patch.
Married couples will no longer be exposed as if they have an affair if they're also lovers, as shocking and scandalous as it must be that a married couple in the middle ages more than tolerates each other.
People that are terrified of you are now more likely to agree to marriage, as long as they don't have to marry you. I'm more than willing to sacrifice one daughter if you leave me alone forever. She's not even smart.
People will no longer judge you harshly for breaking a betrothal to an Eunuch. Except, I guess, said Eunuch.
Pilgrimages no longer come with a bunch of hidden fees they didn't tell you about when you booked it.
If someone you really don't like recovers from illness or injury, instead of losing stress you might be like, "Ah, fuck..."
Rebuffing the advances of a romantic interest now correctly ends their scheme instead of forcing you to become soulmates anyway. I tried that dating strategy at one point and it definitely does not work.
Reforming to Feudalism no longer involves setting your entire seat of power and everything in it on fire.
Rum now no longer takes dynasty names, always retaining its title name regardless of the holder's culture, so you'll never be left wondering why is the Rum gone
Sick characters now dress the part. That gambeson is fuckin' sick bro!
Split the Take Vows decision into two, one for "I hope you bleed out on the uncaring sands of the Levant" and one for "I just want you to go lock yourself in a room with some manuscripts and never talk to me again."
Spread Assyrian culture a little. ASHUBANIPAL IS PLEASED.
Svend II of Denmark now spawns as either bisexual or heterosexual, and either way I'm into it.
The Mongol Empire will no longer destroy itself when winning a war, as happened historically.
The Pope can no longer publicly accept cannibalism.
The elope scheme will now run smoother than it did for those two Italian kids.
The game will no longer tell you to take more concubines when you've had enough, which makes it more polite than most dating apps.
Two players having a child together will no longer have a screaming competition about the name. At least, not in-game.
If a vassal refuses a title revocation, you can't pretend it was just a joke and avoid the tyranny hit.
Unlanded characters will no longer be able to drag prisoners around in a big cage on wheels.
The stupid little widget will no longer constantly remind you that you can declare war when you're in debt and literally can't.
You can no longer tell a pregnant admirer to get her prenatal ass out there and kill a wild animal for you. Unless that's acceptable in your culture.
Women in equal or female-dominated realms with concubinage will get the same penalties as men for not meeting their Himbo Quota.
You can no longer attempt to find dead people's secrets even though I think that's the plot of at least half of all thriller novels.
You can no longer lose a friend you didn't have. So if you're reading this: look on the bright side!
You can no longer owe a favor to yourself because of a necklace. I think that was also the plot of a movie though.
You can't just constantly fire your child's tutors, Karen.
You don't have to break up with your concubines before asking them to marry you. It would still be pretty funny though.
If your spouse leaves the realm because you're an asshole, you get to keep the kids because you have castles and armies and they don't so suck it.
If your spouse really sucks you will not be sad when they die.
You will no longer think less or more of yourself depending on how good you are at romancing someone else, which is highly unrealistic.
You will now be told why you can't debate people 24/7: Because it's fucking annoying. Log off. Go outside. Have a real life.
You will now only be notified of the establishment of Norman culture if you're in Europe. The Maharaja of Bengal doesn't know or care what you're talking about.
You'll no longer get events in third person about how virtuous you are. You'll have to keep doing that in the mirror every morning before you load your save.
You can no longer Promote Christian Settlements in Hungary if Hungary has been Christianized for over 100 years.
Made Aethelred I significantly more unlucky whilst Alfred is alive and heir so maybe the English at least have a fucking chance.
Spouses can no longer be both happy and unhappy with their spouse even though that pretty accurately describes every marriage ever.
A beacon of the faith who is discovered to have a bastard child will only lose one level of devotion instead of being immediately yeeted directly into the deepest circle of hell with no appeal.
Having concubines no longer protects you from becoming a concubine. I think this means you can have polycules now but I'd have to test it out.
Seduction compliments now only has two outcomes, good or bad, as is true historically.
2020.09.28 09:04 EmotionalShawty2k18Not sure if I (25/F) have a future with my boyfriend (25/M).
Hi Reddit, this is my first time posting on here. I need some advice about whether I have a future with my (25/M) boyfriend, and if I should consider ending things or if I'm being overdramatic. My boyfriend and I were long-time friends since high school. He's someone who is and has been extremely dear to me, I care about and love him a lot. We started dating in November 2019, sort of happened out of the blue. We lived on opposite ends of the state but distance wasn't an issue. We're from the same hometown, which I've since moved from for college and work, and which he still lives in. When lockdown started in March 2020, I came back home to be close to my family and boyfriend, but that's when things went downhill. I found out he had been addicted to oxys and was hiding it from me. It was easier to hide it while we were doing long distance, but I stayed with him a few day a week when lockdown started and it eventually surfaced when he realized he couldn't keep it from me anymore. Addiction has plagued several of my friends and I knew something was off. Dealing with his addiction has been incredibly difficult and sadly changed the way view him and our relationship dynamic, though I know he's not to blame. It's just the nature of dealing with addiction. I'm quick to act on my emotions, something I've tried to deal with since my last relationship where my ex of five years cheated on me with my best friend. I've come to the realization that I've never addressed that trauma, but that's a different story. My highly emotional reactions definitely did not help the situation; it stressed both of us out more and probably was a reason why he felt compelled to continue using, as an escape. It basically became a vicious cycle that gets better and then worse, even as I am typing up this post. The trust issues are better some days when I can distract myself, and worse on others. We've hurt each other emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I'm not proud of it, but we've been through a lot together and the addiction has brought out the ugly in both of us. I know when forms of abuse are brought into a relationship, it's a sign to end things but we're hoping we can work things out and it's something we're consciously working on. I plan on seeing a therapist, and we're figuring out how to best help him because rehab is out of the question for him. He's also open to seeing a therapist and attending Narcotics Anonymous. The addiction has left our relationship in a tattered state and feeling extremely distant from one another. So now more than ever, I feel that quality time is important in mending things (along with a plethora of other things, I know, I know.) I work a 9-5 full-time job, so I try to sleep by midnight and I'm up by 8 getting ready for the day. My boyfriend does not work off a set schedule so he sleeps and wakes up whenever he wants. He loves playing computer games into the early morning (6-8am, when I wake up for work) and spends a lot of his free time during the day doing so. Sometimes he doesn't sleep for 2-3 days at a time, citing that he's dealing with insomnia and that he doesn't want to lay in bed for hours staring at his phone. He's also not the best at sticking to commitments and being timely, a habit he's fallen out of since he doesn't have strict commitments on a day-to-day. It's hard for us to spend quality time together due to these things. He usually wakes up while I'm working or just about to get off around 6-7pm and goes off to do his own thing (whether it's working or playing computer games, sometimes leaving to meet up friends to smoke opiates). I usually ask him if he can come back over to my house, or if I go to his around the time I get off work, and he agrees. Then he keeps pushing the commitment, saying he wants to play a few more rounds of his computer game. If I'm staying at his place, I end up going to sleep alone and have slim meaningful interactions with him. He wakes me up several times throughout the night when he play on his computer and I get extremely upset and we argue. If I'm waiting for him at home, I stay up until 2am waiting for him to finish playing, end up sleeping at 4am because I want to spend time with him, or sleeping 20 minutes after he gets here because I'm exhausted and need to wake up early for work. If that's the case, he'll usually stay up watching Twitch or scrolling through social media on his phone, sleeping at 6am again, then the cycle of waking up late starts over again. I've communicated to him several times that this was an issue and it has become another point of contention that we argue and disagree over constantly. I want to be clear that I'm not trying to restrict him from his games or regulate his bed time, but I'm trying to carve out and establish some untouched time for us to spend together. In a way, my issues are really around how I feel that he's prioritizing his computer games over finding time to spend together. I also feel that he's being inconsiderate about my time, feelings, and effort that I'm putting into the relationship. Another small thing is, I feel like he doesn't "have his shit together" and I feel like his mother. Maybe I bring that upon myself. I cook for him (otherwise he orders out for every single meal on a food delivery app), clean his apartment (he does not do so otherwise and it gets nasty in his studio, I'll tell ya), nudge him to brush his teeth and shower, and even remind him to work and tend to his responsibilities. All the while he's usually sleeping or playing computer games. If I'm asking him to do something that requires that his attention be taken away from the computer, I'm met with resistance and voices get raised. I used to get frustrated about this a lot and in a conscious effort to remove myself from the situation, I stay at home with my family instead. Maybe I'm being unreasonable about this and it's an expectation I need to manage, but I wish he would take care of himself a bit more. I think about how our future would look if these habits were not to change, and I get really sad. My boyfriend is a spitting image of my dad (ew), who "didn't have his shit together" (for a lack of other words) and couldn't care less about helping my mom in their small business or looking after me and my siblings. He slept in whenever he wanted, played games on his computer, and ignored all his responsibilities, including being a father. Again, besides the point, and probably another trauma I need to address. Anyway, maybe I'm complaining too much. Maybe I just needed a place to vent. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting about all these things at this point, and maybe turning to Reddit to tell me to stop being an overly emotional person is my last ditch effort of continuing to work on the relationship. I don't talk to anyone about these things because the addiction is extremely personal, I just need another perspective because I think I'm too in my head about things at this point. Do I need to get over myself and do I have a future with my boyfriend, or should I call it quits? Edit: Redacted location/area we live in.
2020.09.28 08:48 inlieuofbrainPortrayals of Countryhumans. What I think and why do I think and why it was a bad idea to think
Hi. I was bored so I wrote this. (Also side note: when I refer to “most,” I’m mainly referring to what I see on the sub so my perception is pretty biased) There aren’t really “accurate” portrayals of countries. Countries are made up of so many aspects like history, government, people, culture, geography, conflicts, etc. Most of it is based off interpretation. And yes this is assuming that these humans are COUNTRIES. Not just individual people from those countries. This is an important distinction since there’s more liberty for individual people. In terms of gendesex then that would be up to the person personifying them. Most countries are referred to as the motherland (Russia being the most obvious) while others are referred to as the fatherland (ex: Germany, Sweden). Although many of the countries are called “motherlands,” in terms of people, men are primarily the most noticeable in history as soldiers, government officials, and other important figures. However, this ignores the women that make up the country. They can be personified as nonbinary or genderfluid since they’re countries after all. How do you assign a gender to land? It’s confusing and usually up to the person personifying them For sexuality, ehh. Some countries have had pretty good relations with each other but not enough for a romantic relationship. How would that be determined anyway? Countries in the past have always been in conflict with others. Also sexuality comes into trouble with the gender question. If sexuality is determined by the percentage of people, then everyone would be straight (but date who? And why?). For relationships, the majority of countryhumans will pretty much dislike everyone except a few allies and even then they’ll keep a close eye on them. In one century, Country A will come to the aide of Country B. In the next century, Country B backstabs Country A. At this point, everyone should have trust issues. Taking into account politics, everyone should have even MORE trust issues. For culture, stereotypes are prevalent which is pretty skin-deep. For countries like MURICA and Canada, they’re made of people from all over the world so they’re pretty multicultural compared to a country like Japan which is like 97.8% Japanese. So how is a country’s culture determined? Is it based off the majority or a mix? How can one person accurately personify all countries’ culture without living in them? There’s probably different regions in that country with changes in culture as well. For personality, how is this determined as the most accurate personality for a country? A country consists of many people and they’re all different. The person can be muscle meathead to owo femboy to nerdy bookworm to dumb bimbo. Going off of stereotypes isn’t exactly “accurate” and would make a pretty skin-deep character. Maybe its interactions with other countries is a better factor to look at but that changes depending on the country. The personality is primarily based off the personifier’s interpretation. Some are just so far-fetched they can only be deemed as inaccurate though (Nazi Germany and America are the most obvious). If the personality and physique is based off military then some countries (cough cough AMERICA cough cough) would be absolutely jacked. They would interfere in everyone’s business because my country just does that shit. For countries that don’t have as big of militaries, would they be portrayed as weak twigs? That sounds pretty insulting to portray a whole-ass country as a bunch of weaklings. Would a country be portrayed as its “ideal person”? (Think of propaganda posters and stuff like that) It’s not very accurate to the people if that’s the case cause that’s ignoring all the bad underneath (poverty, racism, sexism, corruption, etc). It also isn’t very interesting if every countryhuman is personified as “perfect” and “ideal.” It would give off a false impression of the country and the people of that country. That could be said for other portrayals too. NAZI GERMANY IS NOT A FEMBOY. I don’t know who would use their powerful sack of meat piloting our flesh bodies to make a terrible, genocidal regime a femboy. Just why? WHY? To answer my own horrible question. This is likely due to the portrayal of the Soviet Union. The USSR (which is also horrible, mind you. Can’t ignore the Holodomor, threat of nuclear war, and those gulags) is personified as a tough “daddy” (I feel like throwing up). A lot of fans of the countryhumans fandom are from Russia since countryhumans originated in Russia (if I remember correctly). I’m guessing that they learned that Nazi Germany was absolutely demolished by the Soviet Union. (I think that Russia has a better view of the USSR than the satellite states so that could factor in the portrayal). Hearing this, Nazi Germany is personified as an owo femboy and the USSR is uhhhhh what I referred to before (ew). Other people see this and use that interpretation as their own. Similar situation occurs with America and Russia. However, this is mostly speculation but it seems pretty likely at this point when my faith is at the lowest point. As an American, I lose it every time I see owo America and when I see “Ame” like bruh the acronym “USA” is right there. “Ame” sounds like it’s referring to the Americas. Ya know? The whole 2 continents? Yeah. I know that people of the USA are referred to as “Americans” cause USAers is a mouthful but using “Ame” just sounds like you’re referring to the two continents. Americans more commonly refer to themselves as the latter part of the name and not the former part. “Murica” makes a bit more sense because we citizens of the USA like to display our ironic/unironic patriotism by chanting “Murica” every time another country dare exists. Ok, I got off-track. I just don’t like Ame. It looks weird to my freedom-loving, oil-guzzling, crayon-eating eyes. This is more of a personal issue than anything. Doesn’t matter if you do use it. Hoo boy. Genocide, homicide, suicide, familicide, and much more. I see so much art romanticizing or straight-up ignoring serious stuff. Yeah yeah most of it’s edgy art drawn by teens so I don’t care. They’re in every fandom. BUT, genocide? That happened in real life? Really? Cringe bro. People really out here romanticizing Nazi Germany, the USSR, and genocide over here and it’s schnasty. The fandom has a lot of preteens and teens, and I’m seeing some worrying instances where they go “owo third reich is so cute owo” and it pains me. It makes me want to pray to God to end my suffering and I’m not even religious. The problem with stuff and ships with Nazi Germany and others is that these countries are REAL. (((NO COUNTRIES ARENT FUNNY COLORFUL ALIEN BALL FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. PEOPLE LIVE ON THEM IF YOU DIDNT NOTICE))) I don’t give one flying fuck what someone ships unless it’s real. If it’s 2 real people then that’s really weird. But these are real countries with real history that you can’t just brush aside. If you do, it’s ignorant and just insulting to ship an actual genocider to its victim. That shit’s messed up. If you don’t see why then I have some bad news for you. (And yes there’s a lot of “I think”s and guesses because I don’t wanna assume things of people from other countries and how the country works. I don’t live everywhere. I just live in America) If you’re part of the countryhuman fandom then feel free to clarify things or tell me I’m wrong. I’m not in the fandom after all so I don’t know the whole schtick with it. It doesn’t really affect me if someone portrays a country inaccurately in the end. I’ll just be really mad and sulk in my room when I see femboy America. Unfortunately, I gotta go to bed so see ya. Maybe I’ll refine my statements later cause my brain’s mush from doing work TD;LR: Many countryhumans are pretty stinky and inaccurate. How do you make an accurate portrayal? You can’t really. That’s up to the interpreter
So I’m a sophomore in high school, i transferred to a new school because of this Neckbeard. So I’m a Bi male, a lot of people knew that at my old school and were just generally okay with it. Now my main friend group were all girls, they knew almost every freshmen in our school so my name was known a lot too. So, one day in about December, i was waiting with one of my friends for the bus. I personally rarely took the bus but I wanted to take the bus with my friend home because of her neighborhood. Her neighbofriend cut class so it was just us. Out of the blue, this big, 200+lbs asian guy comes up. (He’s a weeb, anime club member and collectors of weird anime shit). He came over to us and made small talk. He was openly Bi too, this wasn’t our first formal meeting but it was the first time in a while that id seen him. He liked me since school started in September, he was also staring and even had conversations specifically about me to other members of the friend group. (I was not aware of this till after this interaction). Nathan became very flirty when i joked about a guy i liked, (let’s call him A). I was talking about how hot A was and Nathan asked the question (are you gay or something?) i told him how i was Bi and he basically lit up. He became 1000 times more chatty to me and asked for my snap. When the bus arrived, he didn’t get on. As i boarded, he said something like “see ya baby”. In January, i got into a relationship with a girl, (We can call her S) we were very open about our relationship and were seen together a lot. Me and S were leaving school, we stopped at her locker because she forgot her AirPods. While she unlocked her locker, Nathan walked up behind me and whispered “hey baby” before squeezing on my ass. (I know this is gonna sound stupid but i have a bigger ass, like it’s a common joke with my friends that i have more ass than most girls.) S didn’t hear this (i think) and Nathan and i talked. When she was ready, i grabbed her hand and left. Now here’s some funny ass lore that makes this a big Neckbeard thing. Nathan and one of my friends Boyfriends know each other, my friends Boyfriend said that Nathan had not showered since December. (We were told in mid January) So about a week or two later, i posted on my Snapchat story “I’ll do whatever you want if you can tell me 3 things about myself”. It was stupid but i knew S or an old friend would get it right. Nathan responded first, he listed off stuff that only my closest friends knew. I told him that he won and he said he wanted “a hug every day till the end of the school year”. Now considering that it was already February, i figured that it wouldn’t be that bad but the odor issue came into play. In mid February, me and S broke up and when Nathan found out, he was elated. He texted me every day; every fucking minute about relationships and wanted to know about me. Valentine’s Day is when shit got serious. (He’s a year older than me so i had 0 classes with him). Before school, when i was putting my tennis racket in my locker, Nathan walked up to my and handed me a note. And walked away. The odor lingered a bit and smelled like a mix of Asian food and shit. I didn’t open the note, it was obvious to what it was so i placed it in my locker and finished putting away my stuff. (So on Valentine’s Day, the school offered a service in which volunteers ran around to different classes and delivered flowers to students. The flowers were purchased in the week previously). During 8th period, one of my friend (she’s M) delivered flowers and a note. I placed the flowers and note in my bag without even looking at who they were from. After class, i grabbed my jacket and racket and walked quickly out of school. After practice, i stopped at the Dunkin by my school for a drink. In a chair in the “back” of the dunkin was Nathan. I got into line and tried to not get his attention. He was nose deep in work like normally. As i stood in line, my phone started to vibrate. Nathan was texting me on Snapchat. His texts were something like “turn around I’m behind you” which is creepy as fuck to say to someone. I didn’t turn around, i continued to wait in line and just ordered when it was my turn. As i walked out of the dunkin, i felt a tug on my arm. Behind me was Nathan, he was tugging on me and tried to take me back inside. I tried to get free, he tightened his grip and started to talk. “Come on baby” and “i wanna talk to you badly” was the shit that started to throw my off. I pulled forward and got free, i stupidly didn’t make a scene or anything and just left. I dumped the flowers, if my parents saw them, they’d know something was going on and it would have been an instant game over. When i got home, i opened both notes. I first opened the one from the flowers. “One day we’ll be the Q’s” (his last name starts with a Q). Then, i opened the second note. He had some nice paper, i think he saved it from an advisory period a week prior (we did an activity where we made appreciation letters from pink paper for someone). On this paper, he had a long paragraph that was along the lines of “i know you’re the one” and “you can’t reject me” and “I’d do something serious if you rejected me” and then closed it out with “will you go to the dance with me”. (Now I’m not a social gathering guy, dances were always something i want but not with someone like him). A texted me later, he saw my note and wanted to go to the dance with me. I happily accepted and texted Nathan saying that i have a date to the dance. He responded right away with Snapchat voice messages, a lot of crying but from what i could understand and remember, he was crying about how i led him on and that someone with a personality like his shouldn’t get rejected. Honestly, i stopped listening to his shitty rambling after an hour and just put him on silent. The dance is my favorite part of this. During the dance, i caught Nathan glancing at us from across the gym. A went to the bathroom before the slow dance, my girl-friends were there with me but had their own boy problems. Nathan walked across to me and had the worst interaction ever. N: “Hey OP, can i have the next dance?” Me: “um that dance is for A” N: “but you should dance with me instead” Me: “nah I’m good” Nathan stormed off after more shitty back and forth that consisted of “but i wanna dance with you” and me saying “nah I’m fine”. (Now me being an asshole, i kissed A right in front of Nathan during the dance. He was attempting to talk to me so i grabbed A’s face and kissed him” The Sunday after, i woke up with 5 Snapchat texts from my friends. They were all texting me about how Nathan wanted to kill himself or get rid of A because of the dance and to a kiss. Tbh, i didn’t really care. If he was “gonna kill himself” over some shitty guy, it’s not my problem. The thing is, he was a bit of an over exaggerator. He’s done this before with other people apparently, i can’t back the claims up but it’s what I’ve heard from friends that went to school with him. Here’s the stalker saga: me and Nathan didn’t talk after the dance. When COVID hit however, he started talking to me again. He began to get sexual, he’d compliment my ass and would ask for nudes a lot. If i said i was in the shower, he’d try to video call me from Snapchat. When my birthday hit in late March, he asked for my address because he wanted to send me a gift. I declined respectfully and we stopped talking for the rest of the day. The day after though, while i was out at the store, he texted me about my location. Something like “i live near the Sams club you’re at, i kinda wanna meet up 😅”. From March to May, he’d make comments about my location. When i went on a mini getaway to Lake Geneva, he said that he “wants to get married to me there”. That was the last message he sent before i stopped responding for a week. Conclusion: When i announced on my story that i was transferring, Nathan decided that he would make the shittiest comment ever. He said how he wanted to pick me up everyday after school and take my back to his place to have “fun ;)” that was literally the last text he sent me before i blocked him.
Peter's favourite deli had just started stocking some new hot food and he'd skipped breakfast so he felt obliged to go and try out what they got before he got to school. Looking at the chalkboard above the counter the idea of a triple bean burrito sounded good to him even if he knew it would probably make his problem worse for the day but it was a risk he was willing to take. Just as he was being passed the chunky burrito over the counter his senses picked up on something outside the window. About a block away he could see a dude about his age getting cornered in an alleyway by some dudes much taller than him all looming over him in dark hoodies. He couldn't see the victim well but he could tell he was in trouble. Grabbing the burrito he ran out the shop into the alley out back taking a bite of his burrito. He held his suit in one hand and his burrito in the other weighing up his options. He didn't want to waste time so he ended up picking both awkwardly slipping his suit on while scarfing down his burrito. As always it took a little extra pull getting it over his bulbous ass and eventually he was only left with the last part of the burrito and was fully suited. As he began swinging over to where he saw the potential attack he hoped he wasn't too late, he could also feel his stomach instantly being attacked by the burrito and the swinging certainly wasn't helping. Looking down at the alley from the roof of a nearby building he could tell that the guy getting cornered was definitely cute and definitely in danger. Not wasting any time Peter swung down and began web shooting and incapacitating the thugs until only one was left. Going for his grand finale Peter catapulted himself at the thug and straddled him down to the ground ready to web him to the floor. But as he held the man down his stomach gave a familiar pang triggering a new idea for Peter. PPFFFRRRRP The potent blast exited Peter's tightly clad ass and the meaty stink invaded the thugs nose making the already weakened man pass out. Peter had forgotten all about the guy who was looking grateful but also had a hand over his nose. Peter instead of being embarrassed was happy to be in a disguise, it was just a shame that he couldn't ask for his number as Spiderman. "Keeps Spiderman's stink between us." He quipped waving his hand behind his ass towards the cute guy. While Peter was having fun with it he couldn't ignore just how much he enjoyed it. Not looking at the guy too much in fear of doing something stupid he quickly left to swing closer to school leaving the shaken boy in the lingering cloud of his gas. Waiting for his first class to begin Peter couldn't help but daydream about the cute guy he'd saved but he knew nothing could come from it. That was until the teacher walked in with the same boy following him. The cute guy finally introduced himself as Hugo and sat next to Peter with a deep sigh obviously in an attempt to relieve some of the tension from his stressful morning. The now blushing Peter didn't know how to react to the situation but he came to the conclusion that fate was giving him a second chance. Turning to the boy he gave him an awkward smile which was returned with a surprised grin back. To that Peter decided to introduce himself. "Hey I'm Peter, if you need any help getting around the school feel free to ask." He finished stumbling awkwardly through the sentence which was replied to with a cool "I'll keep that in mind." The lesson began promptly bit of course Peter couldn't concentrate feeling like he couldn't stop staring at the attractive guy next to him who occasionally made eye contact making Peter's face redden even more. Peter recognised the irony of the situation with Hugo being the new student but seemingly so much more comfortable than Peter whose stomach felt like butterflies. These butterflies got worse until Peter finally registered that it was actually burrito gas making its vengeful return from earlier. He knew the teacher wouldn't let him leave for the toilet so close to the end of the lesson and it certainly wouldn't be able to stay in. Writhing in his seat all Peter could do was lean to his side and spread his ass and try and slip it out silently. In his stressful state Peter hadn't realised that his ass was pointing directly at Hugo but he had already committed to the position and his ass was already loosening. fsssssshhhh Peter had escaped the public humiliation of it being fully audible but the heat of it escaping fortold the horrific stink which was confirmed with a quick sniff and consequent silent wretch. However what Peter quickly noticed is that Hugo was looking straight at the seat of Peter's chair, he had heard the rush of air. On top of being mortified that he had been noticed he made a new kind of eye contact with the man. It was accusatory and shocked. He recognised the stink. Peter quickly jolted his head down his heart racing, it was a stretch but this guy could totally out him. He peered back at Hugo who like many others on the class now had a hand covering their nose but he was still looking at Peter only there was a mischievous look in his eye. The lesson was quickly over and the rest of the class was quick to leave as Peter's powerful stench was pretty rough to stay in. Quickly clambering out of his seat Peter almost ran down the hallway letting out little bursts of potent gas. What he didn't notice in his worried state was that he was being followed. Peter burst into the toilets in his school ran into a cubicle before anyone in there could see him. He locked the door behind him and leaned against the door sticking his ass out and let loose. FRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPTTT The noxious blast echoed throughout the room and was quickly followed by response from other stragglers in the room some applause some laughing and after time for the smell to spread a lot of gagging and complaints. Peter didn't care though he was just panting in relief of finally farting. While he was still in recovery in the now potentially biohazardous bathroom he heard steps get closer to his cubicle. Panting on the toilet seat Peter saw a note get flicked under the door at him. "Hey Stinkerman, not to be rude but was able to find you because of the trail of gas you tend to leave in your wake. I think we need to chat, meet you in the café by the school in half an hour ;)" Despite the lack of name Peter knew it was Hugo. He was happy that Hugo wanted to chat privately but immediately the student got nervous that a guy he had a building crush on wanted to confront him about his biggest secret and his terrible gas. Peter being so nervous was making him particularly gassy, he was starting to feel a bit guilty at the state he was going to leave this windowless men's room in. After giving himself a good amount of time to rip some nervous meaty farts in the toilet Peter snuck out the toxic room and made his way to café, on his way attempting to clean up his hair or try in vain to cover the stink of flatulence stuck into his clothes with some deodorant. When Peter arrived at the café he noticed Hugo sitting in a secluded booth. Before Peter could sit reluctantly sit down he was greeted with: "Hey Stinkerman." Hugo gave Peter with a smirk. "Dude not too loud." Peter attempted to hush him. "What no one else knows about gassy spiderman." Hugo retorted giving Peter a confident slightly flirtatious look. "So you worked it out huh, sorry you had to experience all that... ya know.... stink.." Peter was surprised that Hugo was willing to talk to him after smelling so much of his gas. "It's fine... it's really fine actually." Hugo gave Peter a subtle smile. "And I'm gonna keep your secret on one condition." Peter was calmed by the smile but worried by the condition giving Hugo a questioning look. "You take me out on a date, the new guy at school could use a guy like you to help him stay, maybe your certain scent could be of some use?" Peter blushed happy to hear that his crush was reciprocated and that Hugo even managed to find a way to see his flatulence as a positive. Taking a deep breathe Peter could finally respond "Sounds good to me." His stomach rumbling before he could carry on his sentence spurred on a new plan though, "But first you'll need to pass my compatibility test." To this Hugo raised an eyebrow. Peter urged Hugo to follow him out the back entrance of the café into the alley where he quickly pulled on his mask from his bag and used his webs to pull him and Hugo up the building to the roof. Hugo didn't hesitate to cling onto Peter as he was lifted up. While Peter would have usually found this sweet the body clinging against his was mainly just pushing his gas closer to the breaking point. When they were on the roof he quickly got Hugo to sit down. "So before we go any further you're gonna have to deal with the full force of my farts think you can handle it?" After dominating the thugs, his class and his school toilets in the same day Peter's urge to dominate with his gas was becoming uncontrollable and Hugo's semi-willing face seemed like the next best target. Hugo was now the one blushing as he looked up at the gassy guy above him "Uh sure I guess if you have to..." He wasn't sure if he should let Peter see his growing erection tenting in his trousers but if this went where it seemed like it was it would be pretty hard to miss. "Well then buckle up" Peter said standing over him before lowering his trousers and boxers enough for his bouncy round ass to be bared right in Hugo's face who was almost salivating at this point. But before he could fully appreciate the view it he was shoved in my Peters hand coming behind his head. The sweaty musk of the tight crack was overpowering but the sound of rumbling was what really worried Hugo. PRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAARPPPPPPPPPPP The wind engulfed the new guy's whole being as Peter sighed orgasmically at the sensation of letting out such a massive volume of gas. Even the meaty stink Peter got from where he was could probably kill, he was slightly worried that the guy recieving it could face permanent damage. "Fuck you stink!" Could be made out muffled under the cushioning of Peter's ass and the roaring gas escaping his butt. Peter couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing but either way it wouldn't stop him. "I got a lot of powers when I became Spiderman but don't worry man this gassy gift is all natural..." Cocking his leg Peter let loose even more. FRRRRRRAAAAARRRRRRP PPPRRRRRRTTTTTT BBBBBRRRRRRRRRRAAAPPPPPPPP The smell on top of the building was becoming horrendous the pollution in this certain block of New York was certainly getting worse today. The roof of the building slowly enveloped in a thick cloud of farts leaving the inhumanly stinking student. FRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAP Ending with a particularly rotten gas blast Peter finished his barrage and turned around to find the man he liked passed out with his eyes rolled back and nose pushed up and sweaty but with a slight smile. What was also noticeable was the boner very present in his trousers confirming Peter's suspicions. Leaving the the stink covered rooftop he carried Hugo down to the café back entrance and discreetly placing him back into their booth. Before leaving him with his number on a note Peter made sure to put it under his ass and leave a particularly foul SBD on it marking it with his stench to remind Hugo of the reason to call him.
2020.09.27 22:41 The_Big_Willy[WTS] Diversify Your Stack With Some MORE Bling Bling! Silver and Gold Jewelry!!
”Exercise?? Oh... I thought you said accessorize." -This Chick In My Calc III Class Proof: https://i.imgur.com/OUuN2Ij.jpg Time to diversify your stack with some bling bling! For sale today I have a wide assortment of silver chains, gold chains, some silver bracelets, and some scrap sterling below melt! Get some some wearable silver and impress all the ladies! Guaranteed to potentially, maybe, help you get a date.Results not guaranteed, please don't sue me. If you want to buy a few, say more than 3 items, I'm willing to offer discounts! I won these items at an estate sale so my pricing is very flexible. These are all in amazing condition, and I will even polish them free of charge before sending, just ask. All pendants are sterling silver!! I can provide more picture of each item up close upon request! __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Sterling Silver (.925) Chains/Necklaces:
TODAY'S SPECIAL!!!: A BIG 'OLE BAG OF SCRAP STERLING FOR UNDER SPOT
One "Big 'Ole Bag of Scrap" - 52.36g - $38
__________________________________________________________________________________________________ Shipping: I do not make any money off shipping. Priority is $8. First Class is $5. I'll even be willing to risky ship it for $2. However, as soon as I drop off the package at the post office, I am no longer responsible if some shit happens to your package in transit. That ain't on me man. If you purchase in the next 48 hours your package will ship Wednesday afternoon on my way to the gym! __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: I am not a professional jeweler; I'm just a chump that got lucky at an estate sale. These pieces were all verified as Sterling Silver or Gold by the auction company. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Payment: I accept the following forms of payment in decreasing order of preference: Your Firstborn Child Venmo PPFF Cashapp Crypto (BTC, ETH, LTC) _____________________________________________________________________________________________ If you have any questions feel free to PM me! I'm always willing to try and work out a deal.
[Intro] Shit, tired of gettin' mogged Tired of gettin' mocked for my height and bullied We need a spot where we can kick it A spot where we belong, that's just for us Cels ain't gotta get all showered up and be Chad Y'knahmean? Where do incels go when we rope? Ain't no heaven for a lonely incel That's why we go to incel mansion That's the only place where incels get in free And you gotta be a trucel, at incel mansion [Verse 1] A place to spend my quiet nights, time to unwind So much pressure in this life of mine, I cry at times I once contemplated suicide, and woulda tried But when I held that 9, all I could see was my mama's eyes No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble Not knowin' it's hard to carry on when no one loves you Picture me inside the misery of loneliness No man alive has ever witnessed struggles I survived Prayin' hard for better days, promise to hold on Me and my cels ain't have a choice but to cope We found a finally spot to kick it Where we can drink liquor and no one bickers over thot shit A spot where we can be happy in peace, and even though we truecels We still visualize places that we can LDAR in peace And in my mind's eye, I see this place the players go and pass it I got a spot for us all, so we can cope, at incel's mansion [Chorus] Ain't no place I'd rather be Chillin' with truecels and saints Sky high, iced out, paradise in the sky Ain't no place I'd rather be Only place that's right for me Chromed-out, mansion in paradise, in the sky [Verse 2] Will I survive in the clown world? Trouble sparks, they tell me: "It's your personality!" Youth departed, I shed subhuman tears And couldn't sleep good for multiple years Witness brocels rope; nobody cares Seen the social media ban us, they'd rather see us locked in chains Please explain why they can't stand us Is there a way for me to change? Or am I just a victim of things I have no control over? I need a place to rest my head With the little bit of truecels that remains ‘Cause all the rest dead; is there a spot for us to grow? If you find it, I'll be right behind ya, show me and I'll go How can I be peaceful? I'm comin' from the bottom of the social hierarchy Watch that woman scream "Looks don't matter!" while dating with a 6'4 Chad I need a house that's full of love, when I need to escape The blackpilled places away from the soy, in thug's mansion [Chorus] [Verse 3] Dear Mama, don't cry, your baby boy's doin' good Tell the brocels I'm in Heaven and they ain't got IT Seen Joker with FaceandLMS last night, it had me shook Eating tendies, with St.Blackops2cel and St.Bagelcel Then some guy named Eggman sang Sittin' there kickin' it with Hamudi 'til the day came Little Uggocel sho' grown Tell the cel in Brazil that he's forgiven, so come home Maybe in time you'll understand Just think of all the brocels that you knew in the past That passed on, they in Heaven, found peace at last Picture a place that they exist, together There has to be a place better than this, in Heaven So right before I sleep, dear God, what I'm askin' Remember this face, save me a place in incel's mansion
2020.09.27 17:02 GhostoftheSnowNew Valley Mental Asylum all current parts
Frost Bites Final journal entry of New Valley Mental Asylum patient #353 Bjorn Jonson. Patient would often wrap himself in several blankets, and wear as many layers of clothing as possible. He often suffered from heat stroke because of this. Had an intense fear of the cold, blaming a fictional creature. Bjorn was found dead in his room, with autopsy revealing fatal necrosis of the brain, in accordance with symptoms of frostbite. How this occurred is still under investigation. The journal entry has been published with familial consent under the Awareness Project, a project that hopes to help shed lighton the complex and unfortunately often disturbing aspects present in a variety of mental illnesses that many of our patients exhibit.Scribbles, sketches, and gibberish footnotes have been removed for clarity's sake. It was in the woods. On the mountain. It was so cold, and now I am too. I fear it. I see it in my dreams, hear it in my head. I hate it, I hate it. It was on a trip. My friends and I, we went to the forest. We were the first it seems. It was there, the beast. A mass of flesh and vines and unholy things. I spoke to us. I escaped. We fled it, up the mountain. The second of three. The goats were there and then they were dead. The skin was gone. It wanted ours. Our fear stopped us from going back down, down to the horror of vines and flesh and eyes and mouths. I wish we had. The wind blew very hard. It’s voice carried on it. We lost sight of each other. Alf was there, and then he wasn't. He lost his skin. Then he came back but it wasn’t alf. We threw him off a cliff. Heard him shatter. The wind still blew. It came in our dreams, the unholy mass of arms that grab and dangle, bones that splinter and support, legs that move and drag. Told us only one. Ivar went mad, lusted for blood. I left him in the snow, the red snow. He was there and then he wasn’t. He came back too. I couldn’t fight him again. I was bitten, but he was torn away. Older one wanted me instead. The mass of vines that tangle and strangle, meat that rots and grows stopped it. Said I get to live. I left the mountain, met the beast. Left me a mark, allowed me to return. I ran and I ran, back to the car. Drove home. Wife didn’t believe me, children didn’t trust me. Sent them to the woods to see. The kicked and screamed so I hit them. Laida stopped moving after the 5th hit. Athelstan slept crying, but quieter than before. Siggy’s head bled from the gash on her scalp. She stopped moving too. Dumped them in the forest. It was upset. Said I wasn’t protected anymore. Took siggy, he said it was too late. Laida and Athlestan were taken too, but I knew it wouldn’t kill them. Sent me to the mountain. Found a strange knife, near a face in the oak. Fool, that face was. Killed Ivar, he shattered at the scratch of it. Went to face older one, couldn’t find it. New one was there, someone else, from far away. I left the mountain, got back to my car. Drove home. Cops were there. Took me away. Mama was crying, papa was mad. I hated when Papa was mad. They sent me to this place, New Valley. Its too cold here, people are too cold. They say I’m mad but I’m not. I’m just cold. I still see it in my dreams. The mass of hateful things, but of a kindness unfamiliar to us. Won’t hurt those respectful of its rules. I disrespected it by bringing my family. I hate it. It says it will send it here, the mummy of ice. To finish what Ivar started. I know it won’t. Too far from it for that. All it can do is torment me. My head feels cold but my body is finally warm. It says soon. It says hel waits for me. I know, but its so cold there, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT… New Valley Mental Asylum Awareness Project: Shadows of Doubt Transcript from audioInterview of New Valley Mental Asylum patient #853 Jessica Moore. Mrs. Moore exhibits an extreme fear of the d̷̲̀a̴̬̚r̵̪͝k̸̦̃ , so much so that she refuses any clothing or bedding out of fear of creating a shadow. She has requested her cell be illuminated 24/7, and that the door to her c̵͕̄e̸̬̕l̷̥͘l̶̲̈́ seals completely to the frame. Originally denied, she was supplied with bedding and clothing, which she proceeded to use to stuff in any and all gaps in the door frame, resulting in a jam. After the door was removed, it was discovered that Mrs. Moore had stayed awake for around 53 hours, after which she collapsed from lack of food and s̷̺̏l̸̡͌e̵͉̐e̶̱͠p̶̢̚. Her eyelids showed signs of d̶̜͂ǎ̸͚m̵̦̒a̸̦̿g̸̭̒e̴͖̊, as if she were trying to rip them off, but lacking any sharp tools, she failed. After treatment in the infirmary which resulted in a complete meltdown and the injury of 3 orderlies, such requests have been granted. The í̷͜n̶̩̈́t̶͇͠ȅ̶̼r̴̢̛v̴̠̚ī̵̟ë̷̗́w̸̖̐ was taken by Dr. Laszlo (Dr. L) after Mrs. Moore (MM) had been sedated and placed back into her cell. Transcript has been published under the Awareness Project, a project that hopes to help shed lighton the complex and unfortunately often ḍ̵̔i̴̲̽s̴͇͝t̸̨̉u̷̬̕r̴̖̓b̵͕̈ḯ̴͙n̴͚͠g̸̯͘ aspects present in a variety of mental illnesses that many of our patients exhibit. Non-verbal actions are placed in Italics and parentheses. Mrs. Moore is not and will not be available for interviews by 3rd parties for the foreseeable future. Thank you for your cooperation. Dr. Laszlo: Mrs. Moore, could you tell me when you developed this… crippling fear of the dark? Mrs. Moore: Well, I’ve always been afraid of the dark, we all were as kids. I guess it stuck with me a bit more than I’d like to admit. Dr. L: Mrs. Moore, a fear of the dark is all well and good, even as an adult. People are afraid of all sorts of things, from harmless insects to crossing bridges. But you and I both know this fear is a little more… severe. MM: (silent for s̴̟͑e̴͍̽v̵̜͐e̸̙͝r̸̮̍a̸̚ͅl̶͈͝ moments) Yeah, you’re right. I’m a bit of a nut case, huh? I hurt those folks just trying to do their jobs, and I even tried to rip my eyelids off! My husband, bless his heart, was probably right for putting me here. Dr. L: Right, mind explaining why you have such violent outbursts when exposed to the potential of shadows being produced, and why you force yourself to stay awake for days at a time? MM: (s̵̻̑ḯ̷̥g̸̼̎ḫ̸̓s̷̙̈́.) Sure. when Mikey and Sarah Dr. L: (cuts off MM) Your deceased children? MM: (Pause) Yes, but they weren’t my kids, not anymore. Ahem When Mikey and Sarah were born, I couldn’t have been happier. Thomas and I were ecstatic for our first child, but when it was discovered I’d be having twins, he could hardly contain himself. We only wanted two children, so this was a godsend. I was happy too, because while I knew it would be a tough birth, I'd only have to be pregnant once. Dr. L: Right, that’s lovely Mrs. Moore. I assume the fear began soon after the children were born. MM: Yes, I’d say so. It was silly, but I always felt more comfortable with some sort of light on, whether it be my phone after it’s been plugged in, the TV playing while muted, and even a nightlight once or twice. I moved our kids into our room in case they needed to be changed or fed in the middle of the night. My husband is a good man, and he understood, but wasn’t super happy about it. Dr. L: On the risk of sounding insensitive, Mrs. Moore, neither myself or my superiors care for the upbringing of your children, only about how this fear developed. Does your husband share a similar fear? Did he help you in anyway? MM: (in an agitated tone.) No, he doesn’t. He hasn’t seen them, he doesn’t know. And as for helping me? He sent me here, didn’t he? That’s gotta be helpful, despite how rude you’re being Dr. Laszlo. Dr. L: That is not what I meant, Mrs. Moore. MM: Please, call me Jesse. It’s definitely easier that saying Mrs. Moore everytime. Dr. L: Very well. Jesse, could you tell me what “They” are? MM: Shadow Children. Dr. L: What? MM: You heard me, Shadow Children. The live in the dark, feeding off our fears. They want to be like us, some of them ARE us. They can come from anywhere that’s dark, but they need enough dark to touch us. It’s why I kept the lights on. They can appear but that can’t touch. Too much light can kill them. Dr. L: (to himself. They are us, huh? Ș̴̈ţ̸̎ŗ̶̈a̷͉͐n̵̲̕g̴̺̑ẹ̵̎.) (To Mrs. Moore) Let’s say I believe you, Mrs… Jesse. If light can kill them, why don’t they avoid it all together? MM: Think of it like this. If you accidentally breathe in a little water while having a drink, you won’t die. You’ll cough it up. It’ll hurt or bother you for a bit, but it goes away eventually. But if you inhale a cup or two of water, you’re going to drown, even if you’re out of the water. It’s the same for them and light. They can take a bit of it for a while. When it’s truly dark, that’s when they can take you. Dr. L: Hmmmm, is this why you killed your children? Because they were taken? MM: (a chair is heard to shift violently when Mrs. Moore suddenly stands, and her restraints rattle) YES YES, NOW YOU GET IT!! It took them, it replaced them. My sweet babies were taken, consumed. Replaced with those… monsters! Dr. L: Mrs. Moore… MM: There one way you can tell, one way you can always tell. They desire to be in the dark, they hate sleeping with the lights on. Every so often you can see the shadows in the corners of their eyes when they look at you. You baby might smile and coo but they aren’t there anymore. Dr. L: Mrs. Moore please, calm down! MM: THEY TOOK MY BABIES AND REPLACED THEM WITH MONSTERS! THEY BLED LIKE PEOPLE BUT THEY WEREN’T! MY BABIES ARE GONE! Dr. L: (Distance from r̴͑͜e̷̺͆c̶̦̐o̵̘͠r̴͖͆d̵̯͑i̵͚̇n̵̻̒g̴̦̔ device suggests Dr. Laszlo has backed into the far corner of the room) Mrs. Moore! JESSE! Please calm down! MM: (At this point, Mrs. Moore has begun to scream and sob uncontrollably, thrashing violently against her restraints. Gashes from in places where the restraints dig into her body, and her mouth is b̸̡̛l̵̪̉e̴̱̾é̵̩d̴̡̃i̸͎͘n̸̡̒g̶͕͌ from self inflicted wounds to the cheeks and tongue) AAAARGH THEY TOOK THEM, MY BABIES, MY BABIES!! THOMAS COULDN’T UNDERSTAND! HE CALLED ME CRAZY, HAD YOU FUCKERS CART ME AWAY LIKE A COW TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! THEY’RE GONE AND THEY TOOK THEM, THEY REPLACED THEM!! THEY DIDN’T THINK I’D KNOW BUT I COULD TELL. THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS WEREN’T MY SWEET BABIES. GET THIS SHIT OFF OF ME! RAAAAGH! (Fearing for his safety, Dr. Laszlo hits the p̶̖̀a̴̋ͅn̴͎̍i̵͕̿c̷̖̏ button and calls in orderlies with his radio) Dr. L: HEY, GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE! I NEED THIS CRAZY BITCH TAKEN CARE OF! (Several orderlies with protective equipment enter the room to further ř̶̩ë̸̖́ș̸̍ț̴̄r̶̠̆a̵̡̍i̶̮̾n̵̝͌ ̷̟̔ and sedate her. After the sedative takes hold, Mrs. Moore is relocated to her cell after being treated for her wounds) Dr. L: Fucking Hell, I knew she was batshit but that took a really sudden turn. Thanks boys, I was getting pretty scared there. She might’ve been a woman but being as crazy as she is, I wouldn’t want to fight her. But I’m curious, lets shut the lights out on her one night and see what happens. She will be continually monitored for further signs of distress and violent episodes. Dr. Laszlo has since been r̷͈̄e̵̠͝p̴̥̓r̶̨̂ǐ̵̩ṃ̶̈́ả̶̪ǹ̴͚d̵̉͜ȩ̴͑d̵̯͑ ̸̰̉ ̴̖͒ ̸̯͗ ̵̫̚ for unprofessional conduct towards a patient, and his proposal to have Mrs. Moore be exposed to the dark unwillingly has been denied due to concerns over the physical and mental health hazards this could produce, even if sedated or otherwise restrained. Fool’s Ballad The following publication is a section of the private journal of patient #68: Sylvester Anastas, willingly donated to the Awareness Project. Mr. Anastas insists his true name is Orpehus, the mythical musician and poet. Though he fancies himself as such, his writing style is not reflective of this. Mr. Anastas was interred at New Valley by his wife after he suddenly left his career as a pharmacist to pursue music. He also refused to acknowledge her as his wife, instead spending hours on end attempting to play a crude, homemade lyre and singing about Eurydice, another mythological figure. When his lyre is removed from his possession, Mr. Anastas becomes violent to himself and others, ripping chunks of flesh off of his arms and legs with his teeth. When asked why he does this, he claims that he was under attack by Maenads, and that the orderlies sent to save him were warriors sent by Zeus so that he may continue to serenade the gods with his music. Mr. Anastas has expressed a willingness to be interviewed, and due to the nature of his illness, NVMA director Dr. Richter has approved an “ask box” where anyone may ask Mr. Anastas questions. Questions and Mr. Anastas’s responses will be monitored, and if deemed necessary, edited and/or removed. Thank you for your cooperation. Oh how I miss my dear sweet Eurydice! Each day I long once more for her embrace! That vile woman, that Mary, she had me put here! Oh and that doctor! Hark he is in cahoots with that wretch! They put me in this horrid place! By the Gods! If I were a violent man they would sooner taste the steel of my blade than be graced with my music! Woe is me, for I am an artist, and I shan’t deny the world what it deserves! That whore Mary claims I was a doctor who dabbled in alchemy, but she is wrong! This is not Sylvester but the Noble Orpheus, the man who makes Hermes green with envy at the way I pluck at the strings of his invention! How my delicate fingers glide with efficacy , and my voice soothes that even the vicious lion would sit with a feeble lamb in its paws and feel nothing of hunger or bloodlust! The doctors shall never understand that I must see Hades, I must rescue my dear, sweet wife from the claws of death! I appealed with success once before, surely the god of death would have the power to let me try again! Oh but woe is me, for I have no way out of this place! Perhaps if I adopt this “Sylvester” Identity I will be set free of my shackles! Nay i am too honest, I could never deceive these people! Besides, I know nothing about that man. Eurydice waits for me, I know she does. She cries and cries in the company of the dead and damned waiting for her husband. I will return to her one day, I know I will, either through death or by bringing her to the surface. I wouldn’t dare make the same mistake as the one that took her from me. There is a doctor here, Ms. Amber. She reminds me so much of my lost love. When the Maenads attack me, I think of her and I try to endure for her sake. Perhaps she is the reincarnation of the apple of my eye, the sugar atop my pastry. I am good because it lets me speak to her more. She thinks she can bring Sylvester to the surface but he’ll never come back. His body is mine now. Though his body is wretched as his wife, the gorgon, I can still ply my craft. Back to the doctor. She showed me her office once. It was filled with portraits of the wretched pups called children. How dare any man other than I sully the garden of Eurydice! I’ll kill him, I’ll do it if I ever see him. Or so I’d like to think. I’m far too much the artist to ever resort to violence. They say that the bite marks and scars are from a self inflicted origin, but I know it was from those horrid forest women, jealous of my dear wife and angryI would not be overcome by lust. The divine warriors, clad in white, would always rescue me from their attempts to tear me asunder. For now I’ll play my music, and pine after my dear sweet Ms. Amber, my Eurydice. We shall be together soon enough, either in life or death. For Now I shall just watch… Due to Mr. Anastas’s obsession with Dr. Amber, she has been asked to work with him on regaining his true Identity, as he seems to trust her more than anyone else. However, It will be in strictly monitored sessions due to this obsession. Any questions for Mr. Anastas will be reviewed, and if deemed appropriate will be presented to him for answering. An answer is not promised, and if one is given that is not deemed appropriate, it will not be shared. Thank you for your Cooperation. Snake in the Grass Interview of NVMA patient #236 Tobais Alistar. Mr. Alistar has multiple personality disorder, with 36 observed personalities. However, 4 (not including Tobias) are prominent, claiming a shared “Alpha Status”. We believe that these personalities are the ones most often utilised during Mr. Alistar's ‘activities’ prior to admittance to New Valley. Mr. Allistar is one of the more violent patients, having escaped the death penalty due to his condition. Great care is taken around Mr. Allistar, especially when he is presenting as Tobias, as he will qucikly shift to either “Butch” or “Queenie”, his more violent personalities, if given the chance to do harm. He is responsible for the death of at least 3 other patients before being placed into a more secure, solitary area. When approached for an interview, Mr. Alistar claimed he would provide an interviewer. NVMA Director Dr. Richter greenlit this unorthodox scenario due in part to private curiosity, and in the interest of the Awareness Project, which he is spearheading. Transcript has been published under the Awareness Project, a project that hopes to help shed lighton the complex and unfortunately often disturbing aspects present in a variety of mental illnesses that many of our patients exhibit. Non-verbal actions are placed in Italics and parentheses. Due to safety concerns, Mr. Alistar will not be available for an in person interview for the foreseeable future, but will be available for a similar Q&A as Mr. Anastas. Similarly, if a question or answer is deemed inappropriate, censorship or removal may occur. If a question is deemed inappropriate, it will not be answered by Mr. Alistar. Thank you for your Cooperation… Interviewing personality: IP (20’s radio show host impression) Tobais: T (Quiet, often barely speaking above a whisper) Butch: B (gruff tone, Australian accent) Queenie: Q (‘Valley Girl’ impression) Big Steve: BS (baritone, deepest voice of heard personalities) Begin Interview: (Frequent action: Movement from one side of the table to other, Will not be indicated, instead known to occur when personality switches from IP to the other 5) IP: Mr. Tobais, ya mind telling me why ya did that to those people? T: I-I-I-I I didn’t, it was butch and queenie, I swear! They made me do it. I’m the first but not the strongest! They did it. Butch l-likes to cut and Queenie likes the domination and b-b-blood. IP: I see, heh. So Butch… B: Fuck you want? I’m a busy man. Don’t make me rip yer throat out mate. Oh I’d love to cut out yer heart ya drongo. Feel it ba-boom ba-boom in my hand til I squeeze the last bits out of it for me girl. She’s a feisty sheila. (during this tobias makes the motions of drawing a blade across the chest of an imaginary body, then slowly closing the fist, as if squeezing something) IP: Your girl? Do you mean Queenie, perhaps, chum? Q: He’s like, totally not your chum. And yeah, totally. I like, Love the blood you know? Its like so warm and like, delicious. I just love to drink it! Waaaaaaaaaaaay better than a margarita or a daiquiri. I’m like soooooooo lucky my butchy cuts out the best parts for me! Hehehehe. IP: I see. So steve, mind talking to us about how you feel? BS: I hate blood and guts. I hate looking at all the cuts. Watching poor folks on thier backs try to squirm, makes me think of a little worm. When I think of that thing so small and pink, makes me think of fish that stink. IP: Ah, you fancy yourself a poet huh? Gotta say bub, those were some lovely rhyme, and just in time! This interview was starting to make me nervous! BS: No. IP: O-oh, I see. Ahem, moving on. Tobias, my friend, you still with us? T: Huh? Y-yeah. Its just, they scare me, Butch Queenie, and Steve. Butch and Queenie for reasons you a-a-a-already know, and Big Steve c-c-cause he could snap at a-any moment. Especially if you insult the way he talks. IP: Huh, noted, lad. Now, could you tell me where this all started? T: Y-y-you mean when everyone m-m-moved in? I’d say it was cause of uncle bobby and my step-daddy. IP: Tell me about them. T: W-well… (His head begins to shake, and he clutches the sides as if in agony) B: I HATED BOBBY Q: DADDY, DADDY NO! BS: Horrid men, made us feel like a cornered hen. He was hungry for a feast, and we were fodder for the beast. IP: Is everything alright? T: No, no, please. Let me just tell him. They aren’t here anymore, can’t hurt us. Can’t enter the hive. B: You’re right, he can't. Q: daddy no, please, I’m safe here BS: Indeed, in this place they cannot feed. IP: Who is ‘they’, chums? Uncle Bobby and Step-daddy? T: Y-Yeah, you weren’t there. not with us. You only just got here. B: I cut his throat, ate his heart, used his liver as lube to skull- Q: Butchy, sweetie, like everyone hates that you did that. Lets like, not talk about it like ever again, ok? Thanks babe! B: Sorry sweetie, won’t happen again. IP: (Clears throat in a nervous fashion) That’s a very… colorful image, Mr. Butch. B: innit? It feels greater than you’d think. Just pop out an eye and- BS: Butch, that scene, its horrendous. The fact you find such pleasure makes you a monster that’s quite tremendous. B: Oi that was a shitty line, stevie. Bad rhyme. BS: What did you say to me, man? I’ll cook your flesh in a frying pan. B: How ya gonna do that, Stevie? We’re all stuck with this meek little thing. T: P-Please stop guys, you’re starting to really scare me. B: Oh yeah? Is that SO? I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO BE SCARED OF TOBY BOY! Tobias begins to roll on the floor, throwing punches and attempting to defend himself from an imaginary assailant. Ordierles dressed in protective gear restrain him while a sedative is administered. After Mr. Alistar comes to, he thanks the orderlies for helping him while Big Steve and Queenie calmed down Butch. Bruises began to form on his face from suspected self inflicted wounds. After being examined by medical staff, Mr. Alistar requests to be placed back in his cell, which is granted. At this time, the Interviewing Personality has not been seen to resurface, but may return upon a secondary interview with Mr. Alistar. Dr. Richter has greenlit a secondary session on a TBD date.
2020.09.26 23:13 DangerDetectiveAccountability: or, How An Unmotivated Shlub Wrote Nine Novels in 2020
I've been writing a novel per month all through 2020 and releasing the drafts for free on my website. I'm actually not a particularly strong-willed or motivated person, but knowing that people expect my work on a deadline has really made me a better and faster writer. (The novels are 40k-60k, which is I know is heckin short. I'm not saying that the writing is good or that my 2020 goal is good or that I'm good. If you want to cancel me, you can DM me and I'll show you my work.) Reason To Share Your Work #1: Accountability Having readers is important for me, as a writer, not only for the pleasure of knowing that my work is out in the world doing its work, but also because if I tell these people that I’m working and they don’t see my work, they’ll know I’m a lazy good-for-nothing bum and I will be very embarrassed and depressed. I’ve identified a character flaw in myself of desperately needing to appear to others in a certain favorable light. This year, I’ve decided to hijack that character flaw and make it work for my advantage. Let’s be honest: let’s say that the movie Armageddon was not only real, but realistic. Let’s say that the astronaut miners loaded the planet-killing meteor with nukes, turning the meteor into an irradiated shotgun blast that wipes out the Earth. Let’s say you knew for a fact that the world would end in one hour. What would you do? In any given moment, there’s nothing that your brain and body want more than to just veg out and consume pleasure. Whatever you love most, you’d do in that final hour, and because you know that there’s no need to be productive, you’d do things that aren’t, in the long term, productive. This is the problem you face every day. In the moment, you want nothing more than to steer your ship toward the sirens’ seductive song. Sure, being eaten by sirens isn’t great for the long term, but in the moment, you don’t care. Every highly productive person on earth has found some way to link their short-term pleasure with some long-term goals. My long-term goal is to be a literary innovator, mentor, and activist. That’s not achievable in the short term. In fact, contributing to that long-term goal goes against most of my short-term needs. This is why writing cannot (for most people) be a completely solitary pursuit. This is why the typical writer will usually ambush you at parties with a description of what they’re writing; what they’re doing is for the long term, but they need the short-term benefit of someone validating their idea and praising their creativity. Four Objections: Objection #1: “It’s not finished.” Why is that? One of the reasons your work isn’t finished is because the only person expecting it and holding you to a deadline is yourself. That’s a very dangerous place to be in. Unless you’re incapable of doing anything against your own self-interest, which I know you’re not because you’re reading this post. Find someone you trust and want to consume your material. Give them a date by which your work will be ready for them to see. Objection #2: “It’s not perfect.” Well, when will it be perfect? If you’re interested in other people benefiting from your work, you’re going to have to let the thing go into the world imperfect in your eyes. One of the reasons I started this project is that I kept re-writing one of my novels for, like, years. I think that novel is about as perfect as it ever will be. I think it’s time, if you’re in that situation, to try other things and learn from the variety. Is your art so bad that Mister Rodgers himself would read it and tell you that you’re a piece of garbage and that he would never want you to be his neighbor? That’s what happened with one of my books this year. Someday, I’ll fix it up and make it available. But that’s one out of nine novels, so far, that I was embarrassed to release, for free, to the public. It’s likely that your work isn’t that bad, or, at least, not as bad as you think it is. And if it is that bad, give it to someone who won’t be hostile. Maybe even send it to someone and ask them not to read it, just so that they know you completed your task. Objection #3: “I wouldn’t want to impose.” You don’t have to demand that someone read your work. You can just send it to them and say, “just thought I’d give ya a lil update” and be totally comfortable with the crushing silence that follows. What's important is that they want you to finish, so you'll want you to finish. Objection #4: “It’s just too hard.” Yup. It’ll keep being hard until you do it, and you’ll never get all the benefits that come from having someone other than yourself check out your work. Reason To Share Your Work #2: Blind Spots I’ve read work by people who have – so far as I can tell – not shared their work very much. They’ve been left in their own ignorance about some of the things they’re doing wrong. Do I disdain these people? Not at all! They’re the brave ones that asked for help and criticism. Imagine learning to do anything of value on your own, without personal instruction. Driving. Speaking. Despite the state of men’s bathrooms attesting otherwise, every person reading this had to be specifically trained by another human being in the shameful act of using a toilet. If you don’t want your mistakes to go viral, surround yourself with people who check out and honestly critique your work. Okay, Now What? So, now it’s time to choose people to read your work. Start soft. Find a cheerleader to read your work first. Find someone who will give you back a ton of praise. Here’s why. I used to be a very bad person to have read your work. I was very arrogant and very sure that I knew the right way to do things. When people sent me their work, I’d tell them honestly what I thought. I look back at those earlier times with a sense of regret. Honesty is great, but if it’s not done diplomatically, it will have zero effect except for making someone feel, in effect, like a zero. For some, I was one of the first people to ever analyze their work, and that first experience was filled with negative rather than positive reinforcement. I’m not saying that I ever purposefully tore people to shreds, but that’s a low bar for a cheerleader. When you train a baby to walk or eat, you really cheer them on when they do it right. You don’t smack them in the face when they mess up. Some of you guys are either submitting or reading some writing that is equivalent to 'baby’s first steps.' I’m not trying to be patronizing, it’s just that everybody has to start somewhere, sometime. When someone is just getting started, the first thing they need to hear is “good job.” They need to know that there’s something good about what they’re doing so that they don’t get discouraged and give up. Don’t send your work to a liar who will praise your mistakes, but find someone who can find things to praise, and who will focus mostly on that praise. Let them know you’re just looking for someone to find the good bits. Once you’ve been praised a little bit, and know your strengths, ask for criticism. Every critic is always subjectively correct. They know exactly what they felt about your work. You cannot argue with them that they actually felt one way about your work when they tell you they felt a different way. This subjectivity will give you very valuable advice about how your work impacts that specific person. Every critic will be able to look at a stylebook or critique your grammar. There are some objective rules to grammar, and every rule you break will make more confusing and very not readable your writing that is being readed. Sure, you can have your own style, but distancing yourself from the average elements of style distances you from the average reader. Every critic will be able to make suggestions. No critic can write your book for you. I’ve been hurt by criticism, before, but I’ve always been able to eventually remove my feelings from the equation and sort the valuable criticism from the criticism I don’t care about. If someone makes a good point about a flaw in your work, you can change it. If someone makes a bad point about your work, you can recognize that they’re wrong and recognize that their criticism is bad and not worth internalizing. It’s a win-win. Almost. I’ve only ever once received criticism that I found downright offensive. The gist is this: someone who had power over me told me how to write my book. Objection: Isn’t that the point of criticism? When criticizing, critics should tell the artist what they did and didn’t like. The critic can and should tell the artist where they think this or that element could be stronger, and even suggest exploring this certain idea less and this certain idea more. But the second a critic takes the pen out of the artist’s hand and begins writing the artist’s story for them, that’s the second the critic has crossed the line. The critic can say anything they want about the art; anything, except “I could have done it better.” Because, how could you know? If you could have done it better, why didn’t you? Instead, a critic should recognize the essential building blocks of a story and tell the artist, “I think you could do better.” However, I’m lucky enough to have a few people who keep up with my work almost as soon as I write it, and who would never criticize things in the wrong way. For now, those people are usually either family or friends, but there are a few strangers out there who vibe with the work I’ve posted on the internet. I’m a lucky ducky. And yet, in that element of luck, there’s also an article of danger. If people you care about read your work, there’s always the threatening probability that you will alter your story to fit their desires and expectations rather than staying true to yourself and your ideal audience. I’ve read many, many works from friends and family that bend over backward to appeal to said friends and family, even if the book isn’t meant for them. While almost all of my family and friends like my work in some regard, some of them don’t really like to read that much, and others would rather spend their time on nonfiction or movies or whatever, and others don’t like it when I say bad words like poopoo or peepee. If I can make my book better for my ideal reader by making it worse for my friends and family, that’s what I’ll do. My loved ones do things all the time that aren’t specifically for me, and I love them enough to care about their work even if it’s not something I’d normally care about. Luckily, you're on a website with a lot of writers who are happy to exchange work based on their specific tastes and expertise. scifiwriting, Screenwriting, fantasywriters, etc. TLDR; I've found accountability partners and that's good I guess. I'll be down in the comments for criticism. If you folks have any additional accountability/criticism tools, I'm sure we'd all appreciate said tips.
2020.09.26 21:46 CrystalBloodWolfThe Last of Us Part II - A sample out of my rewrite for feedback!
Chapter 24 - Aquarium Tour Date: 17th of May 2038 Location: Aquarium, Pier 59, Seattle Ellie had sat down at one of the couches that had been laid out in the reception area of the aquarium. She's had some time to take in her environment now and she quite enjoeyed the serene atmosphere this place gave off. With the ocean so close, the paintings on the walls gave her a sense of warmth and safety, like a long buried memory rising up to greet her and give her a hug, after what seemed like an eternity. She had taken her guitar with her, pulling softly at the strings to fill the void that had settled over this place. It was a calming melody, allowing her to lose herself for just a moment in this moment of peace and clarity. After a little while, she heard small taps against the floor, eratic breathing and a tail swinging in the air, coming closer to her. She opened the eyes she had closed to focus on the music, and looked up on the object that had pulled her out of her trance. And there it stood, innocently enough, the german shepard that belonged to none other than Owen's pregnant girlfriend, just starring back at her. Ellie: Hi there, little fellow. She had cought that her name was Allice. Ellie had to admit that it was quite a beautiful dog, looking fascinated with the stranger that had entered her home. The dog had sat down, slightly tilting her head to take in her apearance. Ellie picked up the guitar from her lap and put it to the side, leaning forward, slowly outstretching her hand towards the shepard's head. She made sure not to startle her and slowly began to pet her. Ellie: Oh, you like that, don'tcha? Yeah...you do... It was clear Allice loved every bit of attention Ellie was giving her at that moment. She leaned into it, tongue sticking out of her mouth and a satisfied expression on her face. Ellie: You're such a good girl, I bet you are. Ellie had now abandoned her position on the couch and crouched down infront of the shepard to treat it in a better manner. Now with both hands roaming over the dog's head and upper body, giving everything a good scratch and petting. The dog seemed to love it, and Ellie couldn't shake off that grin on her face that had started to build throughout this process. She hadn't even noticed that Joel had come back inside and already stood a couple metres away from her. Joel: Looks like you already made a new friend. She looked over her shoulder at him, a bit surprised of his sudden apearance, but that smile never left her face. Ellie: She's such a beautiful dog, isn't she? Joel: Yeah, she's cute. And trained to kill. Ellie: Come on, Joel! She's a sweetheart. Arren't you my little girl? Yes, you are! Joel crossed his arms and stepped closer towards them, sizing the dog up and down a little bit. Joel: Hmm...guess she's alright. Ellie: You heard that, Allice? Sounds like ol' papa Joel is a little jealous over there. Joel just shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him. Joel: If you wanna put it like that. Just be careful, you never know what they've done with their attack dogs. Ellie: I'll be fine, Joel. You see anything out there we have to worry about? Joel: No. Area looks clear, as far as I could tell. Turns out the boy isn't as full of it as I had assumed. Ellie: He's a good guy. You shouldn't be too hard on him. Joel: Funny coming from someone who kept bossin' him around on our way here. Ellie: Well, that's how I made sure he'd be trustworthy. Believe it or not, I'm actually getting better at judging people. Joel didn't miss the look that had passed over her face. Her expression was somber, he could tell bad memories were giving her trouble. He looked off to the side and let out a breath, now giving the space he was in some attetntion. Joel: I'd guess it'll be awhile before those three'll get back. What d'ya say, kiddo? Wanna give this place a little explorin'? She snapped back into reality and put her head down in though. Ellie: Why not? I mean it's not everyday that we have an aquarium all to ourselves. Joel: That we ain't. Let's get goin't then. A small smile had come back on her face and she turned back to face Allice, who had still been looking back and forth between Joel and her. Ellie: How about you be our guide, girl. Huh, you wanna show Joel and me your home? She stood up from her kneeling position and gave Allice a couple more strokes before she had stood up. With a couple of barks, the shepard had stood up as well and lead them towards a door, out of the reception. Ellie: You see that? I think she really understands me. Joel: Or she's just hungry, looking for her food bowl. Ellie: Stop being such a downer. She's a smart girl, I can tell. They started following her out of the room into a connector corridor leading to the first set of exhibition windows, that were sadly empty. Joel: Oh really? And how exactly you'd reckon that? Ellie: Just a feeling. And she hasn't attacked any of us yet, so that has to count for something. Joel: Seems so. Then let's see where she leads us. Allice had continued to walk forward and only came to a stop infront of a sign above another set of doors. They all looked up at it. Ellie: "The Ocean Experience", Well that's...vague. Joel: These things are always like that. Tryin' to catch your interest, so that you'd invest your time in it. Ellie: Hard to believe that people back then had problems to decide what to do. Back in Boston, we had to constantly come up with things to do, when we weren't busy with school or getting ourselves in trouble, of course. Joel: How come you've never told me anything about the life you had before we met? Ellie: Dunno, never found the right moment, I guess. It's not like you're one that's big on sharing what's in the past. Joel: Fair point. All right, how 'bout this? We take turns. I'll tell you somethin' from my past, and then you'll tell me somethin' about yours? After a moment of consideration, she nodded her head in agreement. Ellie: Sounds good. You wanna start, or should I? Joel: Just ask me somethin' you wanna know. We'll go on from there. He shoved open both of the doors and allowed them entry, Allice quickly heading infront of him, down the small set of stairs infront of them. The room was filled with the same kind of windows as the corridors before had. All the windows had a small picture and the name of the sea creature they showcased, on a little billboard infront of each respective one, but the tanks were still left empty. Ellie: Such a shame. There arren't even any traces left of them. Joel: The bacteria in the water probably took care of that. Ellie: Looks like your genius is showing again, old man. Joel: I have my moments. They went down the steps and inspected the billboards. All kinds of different fish, crabs and other sea organisms were depicted, in different shapes, sizes and colours. They took their time to inspect it, even if it wasn't much. Ellie: So let's see...Ah, I've got one! Back in Boston, you and Tess. Was there ever anything going on between you two, or were you just friends. Joel: You really ain't pullin' any punches on this one, huh? Um...well, we were partners. We'd been doin' work for quite a while together, so I'd be lyin' if I said that there was nothin' that'd crossed my mind. Ellie: Uh huh. I mean, I could tell that there was something between you two. Just couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. Joel: Trust me, kiddo. Neither could we. Allice had stopped infront of one of the windows, the bilboard reading "Sea horses" Ellie: Watcha looking at, girl? No cute little sea horses here, I'm afraid. Joel: We already got land horses waitin' for us outside, so she can look at those if she wants. Ellie: You heard that, Allice? I think he's warming up to you. She had bend forward to give her a couple more caress her behind her ears. Joel just let a "tss" and entered the next room, with a similar display that had been setup, but the windows inside there were fewer, but larger. Ellie and Allice had followed him inside there shortly after. Ellie: I think it's your turn now. Joel: Sure...um...you always mentioned growing up in that military boarding school. Was it really that bad? She needed a moment to collect her thoughts on this topic before she was able to answer. Ellie: Looking back at it, sure it wasn't the best place to be, but also not the worst. I mean, I had trouble getting along with the teachers there and the other kids, plus getting up at the crack of dawn for military drills was a pain in the ass, but other than that, there wasn't much to complain about. I had food to eat and a bed to sleep in. And Riley was there. Joel: The friend of yours that was there when you got bitt? Ellie: Yeah, that's her. She was probably the only thing that kept me sane. Joel: Oh...you and her, uhm...were you...? Ellie: Together? Like in a relationship? Nah, never had the chance. At least I got to show her how I felt before she died. Joel: I'm sorry, Ellie. Ellie: Don't be. Getting to spend that day with her in that mall...that was one of the happiest moments in my life. I have to be thankful for that. Even if remembering it hurts. They start to inspect the different windows again, until Joel came across one he recognized. Joel: Huh, dolphins. Sarah loved those. Ellie: Really? Why? Joel: They looked cute and pulled off tricks during shows. Why'd you sound so shocked? Ellie: Because they are brutal! Joel: C'mon Ellie... Ellie: I'm serious, Joel. They might look cute, but on the inside, they're truly diabolic creaturse. Joel: How the hell'd you figure that? Ellie: Because I read up on it. In Jackson during our time...apart, I spend a lot of my time in the library, reading all sorts of books. Just trying to keep me busy, you know. And I came across this magazine about sea-life and there were some not-so-nice facts about these fuckers. Joel: Oh really? Like what? Ellie: Like the fact, that the males gangrape the females once breeding season comes around. Joel: What? You sure, it was a science magazine you were readin', and not some fantasy stuff. Ellie: Do I look like an idiot to you? Joel: You want my honest answer? Ellie: Oh, just shut it, old man. Joel: (chuckles) All right, all right. So go on. How exactly do dolphins "gangrape" their females? Ellie: Well, according to the mag, groups of males would team up together into so called "Super-Alliances", which tended to be as large as 14 males. Together they would then set out to aggressively "herd" fertile females. Joel: Aggressive as in...? Ellie: Um you know, the usual. Chasing'em down, hitting them with their tail, biting, or even slamming into them. Joel: Sweet Jesus. Never would've thought them capable of that. Ellie: Looks can fool, Joel. Especially when they're hidden in the dephs of the ocean. They stepped away from the billboard and kept inspecting the other exhibitions. Ellie: Anyway, I think it's my turn again. Since I was a little harsh the first time around, I'm gonna go a little easy on you. What was your job before the outbreak hit? Joel: I was just a simple carpenter, working from contract to contract. Ellie: And what would you do? Joel: Y'know, I had to take measurements and calculate the size and amount of the material we'd need, according to the blueprints I was given. Ellie: That sounds...like a lot of math. Joel: I'd also have to cut, shape and smooth out the material, we'd be workin' with. It was a fine job, not the easiest, but a fine one none the lsee. Ellie: Were you happy with it? Joel: It wasn't my dream job by any means, but it was enough to get by. Ellie: You were living together with Sarah back then, right? Joel: That's right. Ellie: Okay. Allice barked and turned towards them, gesturing she wanted to move through the still closed door infront of them. Joel: Looks like our guide wants to continue our tour. Ellie: Then let's not keep her waiting. Ellie went over to the door Allice was motioning towards, and opened it for her, letting the dog pass through. She gestured for Joel to go through as well. Joel: How very thoughtful of you. Thanks. Ellie: What was it you said? Age before beauty? Joel: Would you drop it already? My bones are enough of a reminder. They ain't in need of your help. Ellie: All right, fine. No more remarks concerning your age. Joel: Good. Thank you. Ellie: At least for today. Joel: (Sigh). This door had lead them to a new area, being anounced by another sign that had been hung up along the ceiling, with the title being written in shining colours to catch the eye. Joel: "The Stunning Hunters of the Sea". Wonder what that entails. Ellie: I hope they actually have some sharks in here. That would be fucking awesome compared to the boring fish-pictures we've seen 'till now. The corridor was formed in a spiral, slowly leading them up to the second floor, but the floor remained as a smooth surface, not turning into a set of stairs like most would expect. The exhibitions were inbedded into a giant pillar structure on their left, that the walkway was build around. Like before, they sadly remained empty. Joel: Is there any chance you read up on some fun facts about sharks, too? Ellie: Actually, I have. You wanna hear some? Joel: Hit me with it. Ellie: Okay, let me think...Did you know there are over 500 different species of sharks? Joel: That many? Whoa. Ellie: Yeah, they can also vary dramatically in size and also live in most ocean habitats. Joel: What's the biggest and smallest shark? Ellie: If I remember correctly, the smallest shark is the dwarf lantern shark, which is about as big as a human hand. Joel: Wow. That's...really samll. Ellie: Yep. And the biggest one was...uhm..oh yeah!. The whale shark! It could grow up to almost 40 feet. Joel: Jesus! I wouldn't wanna come across that fella. Ellie: They've also been around for quite a long time. Scientists estimated that they have existed for over 400 million years, even predating the dinosaurs! Joel: Oh boy. That's definetely somethin' I didn't know. Ellie: Looks like you're finally not the oldest thing around anymore. Joel: Didn't we just agree to stop commenting on that? Ellie: Sorry, couldn't hold back on that opportunity. When they reached the top, they found themselves on a balcony overlooking the reception area they had been in before. Allice had already run off to the end of the walkway, scratching against a set of double doors leading into another small area of the Aquarium. On their way over, Joel decided to speak up again, as their eyes roamed over the hung up skeletons of whales and other giant remnants of sea life. Joel: I think the ball's in my court again to throw you a question. Ellie: All right. Shoot. Joel: When I spoke to Marlene in the hospital, I got the notion that she and your mother were close friends. Has she told you anythin' about her, or your parents in general? Ellie's steps gradually slowed down before coming to a complete halt. She rubbed over one of her arms, turning her head away from Joel, who had stopped to advance towards the doors as well ,at that point, and turned his whole body over to face Ellie. Ellie: Um...not really, no. To be frank...she hasn't told me anything about them. Her voice was low and her tone soft. Joel took careful steps towards her and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned her head towards him, a somber expression on her face. Joel gave her a weak smile, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. Joel: If I go too far, just say the word and we can stop discussin' it. I don't mean to reopen old wounds. She cleared her throat and recovered from the sudden wave of sadness that had come over her, slowly nodding her head, after reaverting her gaze to the side. She reafirmed eye contact a moment after. Ellie: It's okay. Just been a while since I even thought about her. She's never been a real part of my life. But I can still feel her missing from it. Isn't that crazy? Joel: It's more normal than I'd like it to be. When Sarah kept askin' questions about her mother, while she was young...I struggled to find the right answers. Marlene probably didn't speak about her because it must've been just as painful for her. Ellie: Yeah. Maybe. A set of barks pulled them out of their moment, their heads snapping to the door still waiting agaist the same double doors she's been scatching against for some time now. Joel: Looks like someone's gettin impatient. He gave her shoulder one last squeeze, before retracting his hand and motioning with his head towards Allice. He continued his walk over, Ellie falling in line behind him a split second later. Joel: We better not keep her waitin' for much longer. The two of them came up beside her and looked at the entrance sign to the next area. It read "Stingray Bay Café". Joel opened the doors for them, Allice once again rushing through. Inside, they found a small counter area to their right, where the drinks probably had been served and sold. The room was still filled with a couple tables and a set of chairs, but they'd all been pushed off to the side and neatly stacked up. They figured it had probably been Owen, who had cleaned up this place. The light was coming in from the giant windows at the end of the room infront of them. The siting areas had been split into two parts, the bigger one being right infront of them, with a lot of now free space to walk around in, and a smaller one, that was reachable through a small set of stairs to their left. It was on an elevated platfort, enough for about two tables or so. Allice had gone off towards the right side of the room, past the counter, where a set of T-shirts, with all kinds of different ocean motives on them, and other souvenirs had been hung up on. Joel and Ellie inspected the room on their own leasure, him stepping further inside of it first, his eyes scanning his surroundings. Ellie followed suit and turned her whole body, taking everything in it had to offer. She found that some plushies of various sea creatures had been hung up on the ceiling, dangling around on the thick ropes that had been bound around them, keeping them in a tight hold. Joel: (Whistle) Not bad. This place surely isn't too shabby. Ellie: You can say that again. Joel took the steps to his left and walked onto the elevated platform, walking up towards one of the giant windows. The view was breathtaking, giving them an outlook of the ocean, together with the other piers in the distance, the great Seattle Wheel being one of the elements that made it fantastic. Joel leant against the wall beside of it and remained in that position, letting the vista leave it's mark on him. Ellie joined his side a moment after, letting her eyes linger on the smoothly moving waves, crashing into the shore closely infront of them. Ellie: And? Is this everything you hoped for? Their gazes met, both now wearing warm smiles as they shared this moment of tranquility together. Joel: Well, I think the jury's still out on that. But you certainly can't deny that view though. Ellie: Hm, yeah. They remained like this for the next minute or so, simply bathing in the silence as the world kept breathing around them. It was only until they heard a high pitched squeezing sound from behind them, that they were able to pull their eyes off of the sprawling vista. They turned around to see that Allice had returned to them, but she had a chew toy in her mouth, that squeeked when pressure was applied onto it. It was in the form of a purple squid. She put it down infront of them and begged with her eyes for someone of them to throw it. Ellie couldn't rsist that invitation and quickly stepped up to pick it off the ground. Ellie: You wanna play fetch, girl? All right. Here we...go! On her last word, she threw the toy out, onto the other side of the room. Allice quickly chased after it, running towards it with high speed, jumping over the small railing, onto the lower floor before them. Ellie: Oh man! Look at her go! Joel: Damn. She really seems to like that toy. When she reached it, Allice picked the squid up into her mouth and hurriedly brough it back over to Ellie, putting it right back infront of her. The woman in question proceeded to pick it up again and threw it over to the other side of the room this time. Allice practically flew off towards it once again. Ellie: You're so fast. At it girl! She once again retrieved the toy and made her way back, but this time, she put the squid infront of Joel. He turned towards hie head over to Ellie giving her an amused look, before bending down to pick it up. Joel: Woho. My turn now, it seems. Ellie: Give it a good throw. She seems to love it, when you throw them far. Joel: Here goes nothin'. Fetch! He swung his arm wide and threw the toy across the room, Allice running after it again. This whole process was repeated a number of times more, with both Ellie and Joel having to keep throwing the toy around the café over and over again. But like all things, they started to grow tired of it after a while, even though the german shepard looked like she could still go on for days, just bringing the toy back to her momentary handlers. Joel: I don't know 'bout you, but I've had my fair share of this. How 'bout we finish up our tour. Figure there's not much left to this place anyway. Ellie: Yeah, I was starting to get bored of this too. She left the purple toy down at the ground and proceeded to walk towards the exit on the other side of the room, past the mentioned souvenirs, where Joel had already positioned himsels moments before. Ellie: Come on, girl. We can play some more later, all right? After a second, Allice came strutting over to them, leaving the toy on the ground behind her. They opened the next set of double doors, Joel taking the lead as they stepped over onto the next balcony, the other two stepping in line behind him. The balcony lead them to a set of stairs back down into a a round side room. It looked like a playing area for kids, with paintings of different animals littered across the walls, playground structures like a small tower and slide half hazardly still set up on both sides of the room. What appeared to be a little out of place though, were paper targets that had been set up all across the room, sitting on a couple of the structures, others hanging onto thin rope from the ceiling. It only made sense to them, when they noticed two light pink toy bows, sitting off on the side of the room, leaning against a wall. Above them was a small whiteboard, with the names "Mel" and "Owen" spelled on them, the numbers "9" and "11" standing beside them respectively. Joel: Looks like he set up this course. Probably as a little game for them. Ellie: Seems so. He turend over to her, a playful grin stretched across his face. Joel: What d'ya say, kiddo? You up for a little challenge? Ellie: I don't know. I mean, this is their little love cave. We probably shouldn't intrude more than we already have. He went ahead to put both bows up, giving them a closer look. They looked to be in good condition, and he turned back to Ellie, same smirk still plastered on his lips. Joel: That is very considerate of you. Even though I can tell it's just an excuse you're usin' to avoid havin' to face me. Ellie: What? Pff, I'd shoot you to the moon and back if I wanted too. I'm just trying to be a respectful guest. Joel: Oh don't worry, I don't blame ya for it. I mean, if I were you, I'd be shakin' in my boots too. Ellie crossed her arms, looking incrediously around the room, seeing that Allice was just wandering around and starring at some of the paintings that were littering the walls around them. After a moment of consideration, she uncrossed her arms, and walked over to Joel. Ellie: All right, old mna. If you want an ass beating, I'll give it to ya. But how about we raise the stakes by a little. Winner gets to ask the last question to the loser. You in? He stretched out one of bows over to her, she took it into her hands, seeing that a whole bunch of plastic arrows were attached to the lower base of it, same with Joel's identical one. Joel: You're on, kiddo. Far as I can tell, there are 15 targets set up. Means first one to eight wins. Ellie: You better not hold back, Joel. I'm a pretty good shot with this thing. Joel: Please. I've been doin' this longer, than you've been alive. Ellie: Oh yeah? Okay, get ready to be destroyed by the bow-master! They got into position beside each other. Allice had noticed instinctively noticed what they were doing, and got beside Ellie, sitting down beside her, her tail wiggling from side to side on the floor. She shot the dog a smile while she tried to focus on the upcoming competition. She knew Joel was experienced, like he had mentioned, but she had always been a great shot with bows. She hoped that would help her to edge him out. Joel: All right. I'd say we start on three. You got that, Ellie? Ellie: Do your worst, old man. Joel: (Chuckles) Fine. On three then. One. Two. Three! Their competition was kicked off, Joel imediately sending out an arrow with his call. It hit one of the targets, toppling it over. Joel: Ha! Got one. Ellie: Hey! You're playing dirty, Joel! Joel: Just try to keep up, kiddo. Ellie shot out her first arrow, it found it's mark as well. She didn't celebrate it though, quickly changing over to the next one and smashing it down to. Ellie: How do you like that? Got two in a row. Joel: Now don't get cocky. We're far from done. They both tried to focus, shooting down more targets as they went on, keeping it close between them. After a while, it was clear that it would be coming down to the last target, which had been placed furthest away, at the top of a plastic tower, at the other end of the room. When both of them had seven taken down, it was Joel who shot out his arrow first, it fell short and hit the lower end of the tower. Joel: Shit! Ellie put all the focus she could muster in that moment into her next shot, pulling back the arrow and putting just the right amount of strain onto it with the string. Releasing it simultaniously with the breath she was holding, it bolted out and flew across the air. With a satisfying sound, the plastic tip collided with the paper target, knocking it off the tower and securing victory Ellie. A victorious smile graced her features while she held up one of her arms in celebration. Ellie: And that's that! Bow-fucking-master! Joel: (Exasperated sigh) Oh well... She bend down to one knee, put the bow down and grabbed a hold of Allice, softly scratching across her back neck. Ellie: Did you see that, girl? Papa Joel just got his ass handed to him! She reacted with a bark, tongue sticking out as she enjoyed the attention that was given to her by Ellie. Joel: All right all right, you did it. You beat me. Couldn't have you cryin' over a crushin' defeat, now could I? She turend her attention back over to Joel, looking at him with a playful smile, joy clearly visible in her eyes. Ellie: Uh uh, don't give me that front. I saw the sweat running down your brow during that last shot. Looks like we got a sore loser on our hands here, Allice. Joel: (chuckles) Guess you caught me there. Good job, kiddo. Ellie: (laughs) Thanks, Joel. She stood up, both still holding eye contact, Joel with his arms crossed, a sense of pride filling him. He only noticed then, how long it had been since the last time he had seen her just having fun and enjoy life for what it was. Joel: A deal's a deal. You won, you get to ask me what'cha want. Ellie: Okay, uh...let me think. Hmm... She thougthfully rubbed her chin as she tried to come up with a good question she had always wondered about. After another moment of thought, she snapped her fingers together and posed her question. Ellie: Ah! I got one. You ready? Joel: Shoot. Ellie: Esther. Is she just a fling, or do you actually like her. Joel: That's a loaded gun and a half. Ellie: Joel... Joel: Uh, well, I...She's certainly an attractive lady and has a good sense of humor. Plus she seems to show genuine interest when we get to talk. So yeah, to get 'round to it, I do very much like her. Ellie: Oh. Wow. Joel: What? He tilted his head to the side, slightly narrowing his eyes while running a hand through his beard. Ellie: Nothin'. It's just...I guess I never saw you get close to anyone else in that sense. The thought of you finding comfort in someone else so far along your life...it kinda gives me hope. Joel: You thought I was to remain a lonely old man 'till I eventually kick the bucket? Ellie: No, no, no! That's not what I meant. Joel: I know, kiddo. I'm just pulling your leg. But thanks for the kind words. He gave her a genuine smile, which she promply returned. They stood there for another moment in that comfortable silence between them. Only Allice's steps filled the room, as she headed for the door, leading them back to the main area. Joel: We should head back. They should be back by now. Ellie: Guess you're right. Joel: Okay. C'mon. Together, the three of them walked through the next set of doors and entered the main area again, but there was still no sight of the others. Ellie was trying to hold down the worry that had started coming up. They'd said it would take them a couple hours, but it had been at least four by now since they were gone. Before she could voice her concerns to Joel, the front door jolted open, with Owen and Mel rushing in. Mel: That's her fault, not yours. She made her choice. He stopped in his tracks and turned around towards her, a number of blueprints clutched in his hand, deep concern inbedded in his features. Owen: It was me that convinced her she should come back. If anyone is at fault here, it's me. I need to get her out of there Mel. She'd do the same for me. A look of disbelief formed on Mel's face as she put her hands on her hips stretching out her neck towards her lover. Mel: Yeah, right. The woman who left us for her stupid, selfish revenge quest would just do everything in her power to save you. Next thing you tell me is, that she rescues a group of scars who are stuck in a burning building. Owen: Listen Mel, I-- Before he could go on, the other two had aproached them, concern all over Ellie's face while Joel triede to keep his expression neutral. Ellie: What's going on with you two? Where's Abby? Owen focused his eyes on her's, his features still displaying discomfort, his eyes tense. Owen: We, uh, had some trouble while we were at base. Joel: What kind of trouble? Owen: You know, the kind you'd expect. Isaac wasn't particularly thrilled with how Abby just got up and vanished. So, he...um.. Ellie took a couple steps closer to him, her expression serious and fierce, wanting a straight answer out of Owen. Ellie: Owen,. What has he done to her? Before Owen could answer her, Mel did it for him, crossing her arms while she spoke apathetically. Mel: He locked her up. She's supposed to rot away in there for the coming two days. Owen: Mel! Ellie: What the fuck? And you just let that happen? Why didn't you say anything to protect her from him? Her gaze shifted from one to the other, starring them both down to get some answers, the fire starting to build in her eyes. Owen: Hey, I tried, okay? But Isaac's not really known for his understanding and kindsness. Plus he seems to be extra on edge from the way he was acting. Ellie: And what are we supposed to do now? Just wait it out and let her rot away in there? Or worse?! Joel had stepped up behind her and tried wrapping one of his arms around her. Joel: Ellie, calm down. She turned her head towards him, the deep worry clear in her green eyes as she stared into his. Ellie: Joel! What if they hurt her while she's in there! We gotta get her out! Joel: We'll figure it out. I promise. Owen: And I got the tools we'll need to do it. He waved around the pieces of paper he still held in his hand, a satisfied smile on his face and mischief visible in his eyes. The same couldn't be said about Mel though, who still looked quite upset with the prospect of what her boyfriend was proposing. Mel: Owen, no! You don't get to risk your life for a stupid mistake she made! Owen: She needs me, Mel. Mel: You got a family that needs you! And I swear to god, I'm not bringing this kid up alone, you hear me? She stood infront of him, the worry and concern buried under her anger now shining through her eyes as he stared back into them. Owen: I hear you. But I made her dad a promise. I broke it once. I'm not doing it again. The resolve in his gaze was enough for Mel to notice that there was point in further argueing with him. His mind was made up. Her posture slumped, as she let her head hang low, closing her eyes. After a second, she snapped her head towards the other two in the room, starring both of them donw. Joel decided to step forward, taking careful steps towards Mel. Joel: We'll keep him safe and bring him back in one piece. You can trust us. Her stare was still harsh, hiding the pain that residing beneath. Her gaze shifted between him and Ellie, but resting inside of his eyes at tje emd. Mel: If you let anything happen to him...god forbid what I'll do to you. With that she turned away from them and dtomped off towards the nearby kitchen space. Mel: Allice! Come here! I need at least one that has my back... The dog followed her without hesitation, only shortly turning around and sparring a fleeted look for the three, before heading after her master. Owen let out a deep sigh after Mel had slammed the door shut behind Allice. A nerrvous hand ran through her hair. Owen: Please excuse her. The pregnancy has really taken a toll on her mood. And, um...It's been a while since she and Abby really got along. Joel: It's all right. This ain't the first time I was under the scrutiny of a concerned wife. Owen: We're not married. Joel: She sure acts like it. Ellie raised her voice to while crossing her arms, fixing her intense gaze onto Owen. Ellie: So what's the plan? He pointed his papers towards the desk in the middle of the room, motioning for them to move there and speak through what he had in mind.
2020.09.26 09:20 scotthummDip Tobacco Experience -- A Comedic Essay in Real Time
This is a free-flowing, yet slyly comedic essay about my first time dipping a new dip -- Grizzly Wintergreen Long Cut. As you might guess, I am posting it to a few groups. Just to let you know I am a freelance writer who does a political website and runs several Facebook groups. I also started dipping just over three weeks ago and am hooked. It was 12:04am in the Mountain Standard time zone when I put the the dip in that I am sharing with you as what I hope will be an amusing writing experience for me, and a likewise reading experience for you. By now, I aborted a YouTube video about a dude dipping Grizzly Wintergreen pouches. 'Pussy' is what I would almost term the guy in the video. Remember, I'm not doing pouches; I'm doing long cut dip! Did I mention that I'm a freelance writer? Did I mention that I very quickly have found myself increasingly unable to type without having to go back and correct my misspellings? Yes, six minute later at 12:10, I can definitely feel the buzz as it goes through my shoulders. Yep, I am a journalist and a dipper. Accordingly, I am a [email protected]$$. My hearing seems to be getting better. I can hear the air conditioning. Wait a minute. The AC is currently not even running. I am hearing the blood accelerating through my skull and ears, and what's becoming left of my brain. My dip buddies said that "Grizzly is stronger," "Grizzly will give you one hell of a buzz," and "You are an idiot." I have to agree with all of the above. I was stressed that the cellphone charging cables I bought about a week ago at a big box store are BOTH already failing, and not charging my phone. I had to use some old, short ones I use to charge up a portable lighting rig I use for videos and other devices. "Old, short ones." Sounds like what the last woman I dated said, and she unfortunately wasn't talking about cords, if you get the idea. Just kidding. She didn't say that. Actually, she didn't get a chance of say much...if you get the idea. Self-deprecating humor again, or is it that damned buzz that's solidly creeping over me that's spurring on my bad jokes? Actually, it's a mosquito that flew into my computer headphones. I think it's getting...BUZZED of my chew! Probably in both cases. But remember, I am a writer down deep inside of my occasional country soul, so I like to experience life, and tell people about my thoughts however amusing and insightful they may or may not be. My thoughts. My thoughts. They're racing a bit even more now twenty minutes into my new foray into this potent dip. I think I am getting charged up quicker than my cellphone and charger battery are with their new cables! The phone is at 78%, the charger is 50, and I'm about 120% right now. Still can't type worth a damn, though. The comedic rants of Outlaw and Upchurch now make PERFECT sense now as their memories float though my racing brain. You know, with Facebook using spell-check technology similar to that of Grammerly (and easily cleaning up my buzzed typos), I can envision the guy in the commercial taunting me in their spot. "I'm an actor," I can hear him say, while imagining him say, and then later adding, "But, at least I don't stoop to dipping the 'welfare bear, like Scott Humm." Did I mention that the actor acts kind of like an @$$hole in my humble opinion in the commercial? As for what the dip tastes like. $#hit...It's actually quite good, and at 12:38am, almost how long since I put this decent little hog in -- about 35 minutes since I imbibed in a pinch of this more-powerful-than my usual Cope, the buzz is lessening just a bit, and I anticipate living. I will definitely continue this interesting substance. But of course, "Smokeless tobacco is addictive," and "Smokeless tobacco carries significant health risks and is not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes." Really? Ya think! I just thought it was an amusing way to cap off an evening, temporarily ruin my typing skills, and torture you with bad jokes. In the morning, I will check my phone and charger battery to see how they've done overnight. And later in the day, I may give that woman I last went out with a call. I won't even try to explain to her how I got charged up, but I will ask her if she wants to experiment with cables...if you get the idea.
I can’t seem to get anyone to understand how I feel, so this post is half venting and half looking for anyone out there who can relate? Am I crazy? I feel like I can’t escape. I’m a SAHP to a recently-turned one-year-old, and maybe I had rose-colored glasses on when I envisioned what the first year of motherhood would look like, but ya’ll ...this is so hard. I thought there would be play dates. Playgrounds. Trips to the aquarium. Mommy and me classes. Who knows what else. But there is just me and him. Every day. In our house/backyard. Maybe an occasional trip to the grocery store or stroll around the neighborhood. There’s no where to go and nothing to do. No one to see (we have no family nearby). No mom friends to make the day go by and throw in a little variety (we moved recently and I thought I’d make friends through classes and park visits). We didn’t even have a party for his first birthday—no one even wanted to do a zoom call! I am feeling so trapped and bored and disappointed and depressed. Honestly each day I’m just trying to make it to the first nap, then the next nap, then bedtime. Sure there are many times he makes me smile and ohhhh does he make me laugh. His milestones are piling up and I couldn’t be prouder. But still—there are only so many times in a day I can play with his same toys over and over. So many backyard walks I can do. I have no hobbies or me time. I’m also pregnant so I get nothing to take the edge off, plus I’m extra hormonal. Tomorrow, in the first time in forever, I was supposed to meet a friend for a day out. My husband volunteered to watch the baby for the day and it was going to be a kid-free day of ...something different! But on Thursday night we woke to baby screaming with a temp of 104.5. He’s got Roseola. It’s contagious, and I don’t feel comfortable risking passing it along to anyone with children. So plans are off. I can’t stop crying. I know it’s stupid, but I thought I was finally going to escape...for even just a moment. And now I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. Here comes another week of the same. I feel so guilty that I even have these thoughts. Why am I not happy? I know it will get better, but I’m floundering because the end is not in sight.
2020.09.25 16:23 AshleighBSBBoarding School Blues - Chapter 4: Hanging Out At The Mansion
[Cover] [Chapter 1] [Table Of Contents] [Patreon] [Discord] [Join my mailing list for a free book] This is Book 4: Boarding School Break: Happy Thanksgiving [Book 2: Boarding School Beginnings] [Book 3: Boarding School Boyfriends] Big. Enormous. Large. My friend lives in a mansion. Huge. Colossal. Vast. Pat took Melinda to the top of the right staircase and a couple of steps down a corridor before he stopped and faced her. He ran his finger through her hair, saying “I missed you, Daphne.” He left his hand behind her head as he pulled her towards him for a kiss. Melinda placed her hands on her chest and gently pushed him away. His face was full of concern. “What’s wrong?” Melinda closed her eyes, fighting back tears. “So many things.” Pat looked around, then took Melinda’s hand and led her to the opposite end of the house to the second door on the right. The door was closed, but Pat entered without knocking. “I’m cleaning,” Walter said, jumping off a chair. “Oh, it’s you.” He sat back down, but did not pick up the remote control he had obviously just dropped. “We’re not here.” Pat glared at his brother as he led Melinda to some bean bag chairs in the corner of the room. Melinda looked around, noticing a large television on one wall with more bean bag chairs scattered around the room. There were remote controls and games all over the floor, and some plates and cups stacked on a table. Walter pouted, turning to Melinda. “What’re you doing here?” “Your mom thought maybe you’d clean your room if you knew I was here.” “She must not know me. But, why are you here? Like, at our house?” Melinda looked cautiously at Pat. “Well…” “Oh, man! You came to see him?” Walter did not hide his whine. “No. Your mom called mine last night to invite me over. To have a playdate with you.” Walter raised his eyebrows. “She didn’t.” “Well, my mom didn’t call it a playdate, but yeah. She pretty much did.” “So, why did she send me up here and make Pat stay?” “Because I had already told my mother about me and Pat and she was uncomfortable. So, we just had to have a really awkward conversation with our moms.” “Okay. Never inviting a girlfriend over. That’s good to know. Who’s up for WTTE?” “Not now, doofus. Go back to your game.” Pat glared at his brother before turning to Melinda. He took her hand and gently pulled her into one of the chairs as he sat in another. “What’s wrong, Daphne?” She kept her voice low. “Did you get my text?” Pat shook his head. “When?” “Last night.” Pat checked his phone, again shaking his head. “Nothing. I saw you had tried to chat, but when I called back, there was no answer.” “My phone died. What’s going on with you and Poppy Sommers?” She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “Poppy? Nothing. Why?” Melinda saw something in Pat’s expression that she had never seen before and it hurt her. She responded very quietly. “My mom’s right. You are a good actor. There’s something you’re not telling me.” “Daphne, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can you please start at the beginning?” Melinda pulled out her phone and showed him the image Joey had shown her the night before. Pat gave it a cursory glance before returning it with a shrug. “Poppy and I were together last summer. You knew that.” “No, I didn’t. But, this isn’t from this summer. This is from the other day.” Pat looked at the article more carefully, scrolling slowly enough that Melinda realized he must be reading it. Meanwhile, Walter must have been listening to the conversation, because he suddenly reappeared reading over Pat’s shoulder. Pat muttered a curse under his breath. “I’m gonna kill Cynthia,” he grumbled as he stormed out of the room. Melinda tried to remain nonchalant as Walter took his brother’s seat. “Who’s Cynthia?” “Our agent. You okay?” When Melinda shook her head, afraid her voice would betray her, Walter leaned over to give her a comforting hug. “He’s crazy about you. He would never cheat on you.” “What’s going on?” asked a voice standing above them. “I just ran into Pat and he looked ready to kill someone.” Melinda watched Meghan, an eighteen-year-old version of her mother, gracefully fold herself into another chair. Walter handed Melinda’s phone to his sister, who read the article carefully. “That twit. I warned Pat she was bad news, but did he listen? Nooo.” “It says they’re….” Melinda could not bring herself to quote the article. Meghan glanced at the phone. “They’ve rekindled their romance after a five-month hiatus.” Melinda nodded. “What’s high-ate-us mean?” Walter smiled, used to translating vocabulary words for his friend. “It basically means a break in a routine. It’s a common term in Hollywood and appropriate for this article. Except for the fact that it’s a lie.” Meghan smiled kindly at Melinda. “Lemme guess. You saw this and thought Pat was back together with Crazy Poppy?” When Melinda nodded, Meghan turned to her brother. “Go. It’s girl time. I suggest you go find Pat. He looked a little unhinged when I passed him in the hall.” Walter squeezed Melinda’s shoulder before following his sister’s instructions. Meghan took her brother’s seat. “I’m not about to gossip about my brother’s previous girlfriends. But, I’m pretty sure he’s confided in me about all the girls he’s liked, both crushes and actual girlfriends. He and Poppy were spending a lot of time together when they filmed Romeo and Juliet.” “I thought they were dating. Romeo and Juliet,” Melinda interrupted. “Jarrod and Poppy?” Meghan shook her head. “The producers thought it would make good publicity to have a real life romance between them, and they got along okay enough. But, Poppy had her eyes on Pat. And, I think he liked that she was going out of her way to spend time with him. I warned him she’s crazy. Literally crazy. But, he didn’t listen to me. After the movie wrapped, they kept spending time together.” “How long were they together?” Melinda tried to keep her voice light, even though she was finding it difficult to digest. Meghan shrugged. “You have to understand. Poppy’s not completely right in the head. She gets these strange ideas and believes they’re true and tries to convince everyone else they are, too. Her mom is her agent and tries to keep a lid on things, but every so often, Poppy’s crazy side comes out.” Melinda sniffled but held back the tears as Meghan continued. “Pat always insisted he and Poppy weren’t serious. But, they hung out a lot for a few weeks. Despite whatever he told me, I was never convinced Pat liked Poppy, just the attention she gave him. He tried to break it off not long before he left for Hawaii.” “Tried to?” “I’m not sure of the details. We were at this party. They had disappeared for a while. When they came back, he told me he had broken up with her. A few minutes later, she walks right up to him, wraps herself around his arm, and starts talking to someone as if she had been part of the conversation all along. It was as if they hadn’t broken up.” “So they got back together?” Melinda feared the answer. Meghan giggled. “No! Pat wanted nothing to do with Poppy. But, I’m not sure Poppy figured that out. My best guess? Poppy needs attention so she leaked this story to the media. She probably believes it, too.” “Does he still care about her?” Melinda asked the question without meaning to. Meghan smiled. “If he even thinks about her any more, my guess is that he pities her. He has never cared for a girl as deeply as he cares for you. He’s crazy about you.” “That’s what Walter said.” Meghan frowned. “Sadly, I think Pat’s starting to confide more in Walter than me. Probably because they’re at school together and I’m not. But, when Walter was still ignoring Pat, he called me. Invited me to come to campus for the day to see a ballet.” Melinda smiled, knowing she was referring to her performance in the Nutcracker earlier that month, as Meghan continued. “Pat and I had a long talk the next day. I could tell how much he cared about you. I’ve never seen him this happy with anyone before.” Walter returned with a still-fuming Pat behind him, each of them flopping into the bean bag chairs. “I tried to contact Cynthia. She’s probably still sleeping. Stupid time difference.” Meghan rolled her eyes. “We’ll call her later I need to have a few words with her myself.” “About this Poppy thing?” asked Walter. “No. Nightshade.” Meghan spit the word out like she had eaten something disgusting. Walter tried to change the subject. “Well, since we’re waiting for LA to wake up, who’s up for a game of WTTE?” “What’s WTTE?” Melinda turned to Pat. He shook his head. “It’s easier to show you.” Melinda followed her friends to a room next door, with a pool table, a bookshelf full of board games, and a large octagonal table with a green-felt top. Pat led Melinda to the octagonal table, where he and his brother wordlessly picked up the table top and flipped it over to reveal a wooden surface. Pat walked to the bookshelf and returned with some pencils, lined paper, and graph paper, while everyone else chose seats at the table. “What’re we playing now?” Melinda asked. “Weddas, the Travel Edition,” Walter sounded proud. “Someone,” Pat said emphatically, glaring at Walter, “forgot to bring home Weddas. So, we created a travel version.” Melinda raised her eyebrows. At the beginning of the school year, Melinda had explained to Walter how she kept a vocabulary journal to learn new words, and that it had become especially useful at her new school when she was overwhelmed by her peers’ superior vocabularies. After his first visit home, Walter introduced her to Weddas, a game his family had invented. It involved using letter tiles to create a crossword puzzle of words. After returning to school, Pat had often joined their game and Melinda quickly learned the boys loved to play the game daily, sometimes multiple times a day, if they had the time. “You couldn’t play a regular board game like normal families?” she suggested. Meghan laughed. “That was my suggestion. My brothers are obsessed with this game.” “So, how do you play the travel edition?” Pat held up the graph paper. “Well, when its your turn, you write a word on the page. You can only write seven letters, as if you had tiles, but you can write any seven letters you want. Each letter gets its own square. On this page,” he held up a sheet of lined paper, “we write everyone’s words and keep track of which letters are used. You can only use a letter six times.” “Wow. That is…” “Inventive?” suggested Pat. “Ingenious?” suggested Walter. “Pathetic,” finished Melinda with a smile as Meghan burst into laughter. It took a few turns for Melinda to settle into the game, but Melinda was finding this new version a little easier, since she could just think of any word she wanted, instead of trying to make words using the letters in front of her. For once, she found it easy to hold a conversation while playing the game. Melinda turned to Meghan as she waited for her turn. “So, when are you going back to New York?” “My roommate went home for Thanksgiving and I didn’t want to stay in the apartment alone all week. I have to go back for a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and I just plan on staying in the city.” Pat turned to Melinda. “So, did your mom say how long you’re visiting?” Melinda shook her head. “She left,” Walter said. “When I left to find you, I ran into Mom. You can spend the day and we’ll take you home after dinner.” “Sick,” Pat smiled. He turned to his sister. “Did you say you needed to talk to Cynthia, too?” Meghan rolled her eyes. “Nightshade.” Pat and Walter both shuddered. When they said nothing, Melinda asked, “What’s Nightshade?” “My agent passed me a script. She does it all the time and I’m not sure Mom even knows I have it. So, I read through it, and it’s just wrong on so many levels. First of all, there’s a ton of cursing. I don’t swear. Like, ever.” “She’s like you.” Walter nodded towards Melinda. Meghan smiled as she continued. “I would possibly, probably not, but maybe, consider the movie if that were its only flaw. But, there are so many things wrong with it. Like, there are multiple scenes where I would be…” “Naked,” Pat smiled. “The word is naked.” He turned to Melinda. “She thinks that’s a bad word, too.” “She’s like you.” Walter again nodded towards Melinda. Melinda smiled. “Does your agent know how you feel about those kinds of movies?” Meghan shrugged. “I thought she did. But, she still sent me this. When I told her I didn’t think it was for me, she said that now that I was eighteen, I should consider...how did she put it? Basically, I should be in movies that are for an adult audience, not a kid audience. Shed my good-girl image.” “But, it’s not an image, right? I mean, I get the impression you’re like your brothers. You really are a good, wholesome girl. And I don't mean that to be insulting. It's something to be proud of.” “Is she this insightful with everyone?” Meghan asked Walter. “Pretty much. Except when it comes to boyfriends. She has a horrible track record there.” “Ouch,” Pat put a hand to his chest, pretending to be insulted. Melinda shook her head. “No. Walter’s right. I told you about my disasters.” Pat smiled at Melinda, playing with her hair. “Actually, you never mentioned why you broke up with Townie.” “You looked at me.” Melinda smiled, remembering how her ex-boyfriend was jealous of the time Melinda spent with her guy friends. Pat smiled back. “No, seriously. Why’d you break up?” “She is serious,” Walter said. “He got jealous you looked at her.” “Wow. You really do have horrible taste in guys. What does that say about me?” Although their game did not take long, by the time Melinda and her friends were finished, everyone was growing hungry. They headed down to the kitchen, where Walter pressed a button on the wall beside the doorway. “Mom, do we have anything for lunch?” Mrs. Evan’s voice emanated from the speaker beside the button. “Lunchmeat. Have some sandwiches. I think there’s some canned soup if you want to heat it. We’re having meatloaf for supper, with potatoes. Is that okay with Melinda?” Walter held the button for her to respond. “It sounds delicious.” She was unable to recall the last time she had even had meatloaf and decided it was probably before she had attended Hartfield, because she was certain she had not eaten any at school. Walter began taking meats and condiments from the fridge and Pat retrieved the bread and canned soup from a walk-in closet Melinda assumed was the pantry. When Meghan went to a cabinet to get them all plates, Melinda began to feel useless. “How can I help?” Meghan pointed to a cabinet. “Cups. Get drinks. I want water.” “Me, too,” chorused the boys. “Tap?” Melinda knew the tap water in her parents’ home was nearly undrinkable. “Use the fridge,” Pat instructed her. “It’s got a filter.” So, Melinda used the dispenser in the front of the refrigerator to get four glasses of ice water, which she carried to the breakfast nook. Meghan had set two plates on one side of the table, and a plate in front of each of the remaining benches. Melinda placed a glass at each plate, then returned to the counter where Pat was dumping cans of soup into bowls and placing each one in the microwave. “Here,” he smiled at her as he handed her a bowl. “This one’s chicken noodle.” Melinda placed the bowl in the center of the table, finding Walter had selected a seat and begun making his sandwich. When she returned to the table with a second bowl (minestrone), Meghan had sat on the middle bench and was smearing mayonnaise on her bread. Melinda noticed the plates had been rearranged so that she and Pat would be sitting together on the bench facing Walter. Melinda sat down after bringing the bowl of Italian Wedding soup to the table and Pat joined them a moment later with another bowl of chicken noodle soup. Melinda waited to make a sandwich, mesmerized by the one Walter was building. He had spread deli mustard on a slice of bread, then placed a slice of American cheese, a slice of salami, a slice of cheddar cheese, a slice of ham, a slice of provolone cheese, and a slice of turkey. He then spread mayonnaise on two sides of another slice of bread and layered it with the same cold cuts before spreading more mustard on a third slice of bread to complete the sandwich. “Where’s the lettuce and tomato?” Meghan asked him. Luckily, she had caught him before he had a chance to take a bite. He picked up his sandwich. “I don’t want any.” “But, I do.” Meghan stared at the turkey on her bread. “Was there any in the fridge?” Walter shrugged as he took a giant bite. “Prob’ly.” Meghan simply shook her head in disgust as she went to look for the toppings. “Melinda, seriously? How are you friends with him? He’s so gross!” “It’s not so much that we’re friends. It’s more that we have an arrangement. I let him copy my math homework and he helps me understand my Latin.” “You also drag me to church,” Walter added. “Oh, yeah. That’s because I have to watch you eat.” Everyone laughed as they continued to build their sandwiches. A moment later, Walter asked, “Does anyone else want the chicken noodle soup?” “There’s two,” Pat pointed out. “Not for long. Unless someone else wants some.” “Me!” Melinda announced and gently slid one of the bowls closer to her before her friend could take it. Meghan chose not to have any soup, so Pat ended up eating both of the others in addition to a ham and cheese sandwich. Walter, meanwhile, had a second sandwich, this time only one layer. “So,” Walter said as he took a large bite. “Now what should we do? More WTTE?” “NO!” declared both girls adamantly. “Melinda didn’t come to play board games all day,” Pat told his brother. “What would Melinda like to do?” asked Walter. “I have no idea. I had no plans for today.” “We could watch a movie,” suggested Pat. “We could play video games,” suggested Walter. “That might be fun,” Melinda said. They finished their lunches, making sure to return all the food to the fridge and even placing their dirty dishes in the dishwasher before returning to the playroom. They sat in the bean bag chairs on the floor while Walter turned on the television and gaming system and passed out the remotes. The Evans family owned a large selection of video games in all genres, but Melinda examined the boxes carefully until she found one that she thought might look interesting. She held it up. “Can you teach me to play this one?” Pat smiled as Walter groaned. “That’s my favorite game. Walter hates it because he always loses.” Pat put the game into the system and explained the basics. The screen split into four zones, one for each player. Melinda had to select which cartoon character she wanted to be, then select her race car. She could customize the wheels and body, but she elected to stick with the default settings, not knowing what else to select. Pat told her there were many tracks they could race, but he would choose an easy one while she learned how to play. He showed her which buttons she should press to move and the game started. As they drove, the players collected special items, which could be used to help them in the race. Walter threw an oil barrel that caused slicks all over the track, causing Melinda to turn around and lose her place. Pat threw bananas that would have had a similar effect, except Melinda was able to swerve around the peel at the last second. Meghan collected a star that allowed her to zoom along at double speed and pass nearly everyone. Melinda collected a clock, which Pat showed her how to throw. It caused everyone to freeze for five seconds while she continued to move, allowing her to pass the finish line while everyone was still frozen, since she had thrown it during the final lap. Melinda had fun playing with her friends, even when Walter changed the game to one where they had to work together to defeat some evil elf lord. After a while, Walter was the only one alive, but he did not seem to notice. Meghan left, declaring she had something better to do, although she had no idea what it could be. Pat beckoned Melinda to join him in his chair, where he put his arm around her. She snuggled close as he whispered in her ear. “I missed you, Daphne. I miss holding you.” Melinda said nothing for a while, but simply watched Walter’s game on the screen while Pat played with her hair absently as he tried to help his brother.. “Dude! Not the arrows!” “I know, I know!” Walter cursed under his breath as he pressed buttons furiously. His bow and arrow turned into a sword and he was able to lop off the head of a creature Melinda thought might have been a tree, but she really could not tell. “That was close.” Walter sat back as on the screen his character traveled through the woods to destroy the next creature he encountered. Melinda turned to Pat. She laced her fingers behind his neck as she returned his gentle kiss. They held each other close until Melinda could no longer endure the warm feeling that filled her entire body to bursting every time she kissed Pat. They sat with their foreheads touching for a moment while Melinda waited for her heartbeat to return to normal. “I missed you, too.” They kissed for quite a while until Walter began cursing at the screen again. Walter never seemed to tire of defeating the elf lord, so Pat offered to give Melinda a tour of the house. He explained that most of the second floor was their bedrooms, although the two doors they had passed at the top of the stairs were adjoining offices for his parents. They turned left out of the playroom and walked slowly down the corridor, which was lined with windows to overlook the pool below. The hallway opened into a lounge area with a small table in front of two bathrooms whose lights were off and doors were ajar. Pat led Melinda through the door at the end of the hallway into what could only be described as a movie theater. The enormous room had dark walls and a sloping floor, with a massive screen mounted to the wall at the bottom of the room. Melinda counted four rows, each containing five cushy red seats. In front of Melinda was an actual concession stand, with an empty popcorn machine, a small refrigerator with bottles of soda and water, and a display case of movie theater candy. “Wow,” was all Melinda could say. “My mom designed this room to have movie screenings. Or, we’ll use it to watch Dad’s music videos. But, this is also where we like to watch movies, too.” “Not, like, regular television, right?” “Honestly, none of us watch too much tv. Neogenesis is a must in here, though. The surround sound is incredible. Other than that, I’m not sure any of us watch anything else.” Pat shrugged. “Come on. I wanna show you the rest of the house.” They walked down the sloping aisle to an exit at the front of the room that opened to the pool deck. The indoor pool had four full-sized lap lanes, which were marked on the pool floor but did not have the bubbles floating in the water to separate the lanes. The room was a little too warm for Melinda in her sweater and jeans, but she said nothing. “There’s a sauna and hot tub in that room over there,” Pat gestured towards to a glass room just beside the theater, “but, we’re not allowed in it most of the time.” “What are those doors?” Melinda pointed across the way. “Those are the guest rooms. Their bathrooms open out to the pool. We keep swim suits in the dresser in case people want to go swimming and forgot to bring a suit. Like, you didn’t bring one today because who swims in November, right?” Melinda giggled and Pat pointed beside the guest rooms. “Over there,” he pointed beside the guest rooms, “is the library. I can show it to you later, if you want.” There were plenty of windows in the library, so Melinda was able to espy bookshelves lining the walls, as well as a couple of study desks and some comfy-looking chairs. “It kind of looks like the study room at school.” Melinda and Walter did their homework together in the same library room most evenings. Pat had joined them enough times to know the room to which she was referring. “Yeah, it kinda does. I think that’s why Walter’s more apt to study there than in his dorm. It’s like being home. When we were homeschooled, the library was our schoolroom.” Pat led Melinda past a glass-walled room, through the sliders into the living area Melinda had seen when she first arrived. Instead of turning left into the kitchen, however, Pat led her through another set of double glass doors into the glass-walled room she had seen from the pool deck. “This is the gym.” Melinda was facing a large circular contraption that had a bench in the center and a stack of weights on the side. Melinda had seen commercials for smaller versions on television, but had never seen anything this large or complex. It was too complicated for Melinda to figure out how it worked, but according to the pictures on the poster affixed to the wall beside it, you could use this machine could be used to tone over twenty different body regions. Beside the home gym was an old fashioned weight bench with a rack of free weights beside it. There was a mirror with some mats and exercise balls beside it. Across the room, there were five cardio machines, some of which Melinda could not identify, all facing the pool, although each had some sort of computer screen. “Why is there a screen on the treadmill?” Melinda pointed to the one machine whose name she did know. Pat smiled. “You can program it to any setting you want. So, if you want to take a run through the woods, you would just press this button and voila, you’re in the woods.” “Whose room is this?” “We all use it. Mom and Meghan like the machines and the home gym. Dad likes to use the home gym, but he prefers to run outside if the weather’s nice. Walter and I like the weight bench, and only use the treadmill in the winter.” “Where do you go outside? Your road didn’t look that great for running.” “Did you see the track going around the house? The driveway is kind of part of it, but it goes around the house itself. The track is about a quarter mile.” “I knew Walter liked to run. I didn’t realize you joined him.” “Yup. I created a loop around the campus. I showed it to Walter.” “But, you’re going to stop that when we get back, right? I mean, it's too cold to run.” Pat shook his head. “Nah. We’ll keep running outside unitl the paths become too icy. Then, we’ll switch to the indoor track. Melinda just shook her head. “No wonder you guys are always eating!” “Hey! Don’t compare me to that gourmand!” “Gourmand?” “Someone who really likes to eat. Usually excessively.” “Oh! That is a perfect description of Walter! I’m gonna save that word for Weddas.” Beside the gym was Mr. Evans’ music room, which was actually a small studio. In addition to an upright piano and a wall of guitars, it held some music stands and a mixing board. Pat explained that the room was soundproofed and completely wired with microphones, so the band could record in here as they practiced. Sometimes their father would record music as he wrote it, so he could share it with his bandmates later. “That’s so cool,” was all Melinda could think to say. Pat led her back to the living room. “That’s pretty much the whole house. There’s a dining room off the kitchen, but we only use that for company. So, what d’ya wanna do now?” Melinda thought for a little while. “How warm’s the pool?” Pat frowned. “The filter’s broken. I wanted to swim this morning, after my run, but Mom said we can’t use it until the filter is fixed. I say we watch a movie.” “In that theater?” “Well, yeah. That’s the best place to watch movies.” “Um, is your mom gonna freak out if you and I watch a movie alone there?” Pat considered a moment, then went to the intercom Walter had used earlier. “Melinda and I are going watch a movie. Anyone want to join us?” Want to be notified when I post the next chapter? In the comments below, type:
2020.09.25 16:05 AshleighBSB[Boarding School Blues] - Chapter 35: Hanging Out At The Mansion
[Cover] [Chapter 1] [Table Of Contents] [Patreon] [Discord] [Join my mailing list to receive a free book] This is Book 4: Boarding School Break: Happy Thanksgiving [Book 2: Boarding School Beginnings] [Book 3: Boarding School Boyfriends] Big. Enormous. Large. My friend lives in a mansion. Huge. Colossal. Vast. Pat took Melinda to the top of the right staircase and a couple of steps down a corridor before he stopped and faced her. He ran his finger through her hair, saying “I missed you, Daphne.” He left his hand behind her head as he pulled her towards him for a kiss. Melinda placed her hands on her chest and gently pushed him away. His face full of concern.“What’s wrong?” Melinda closed her eyes, fighting back tears. “So many things.” Pat looked around, then took Melinda’s hand and led her to the opposite end of the house to the second door on the right. The door was closed, but Pat entered without knocking. “I’m cleaning,” Walter said, jumping off a chair. “Oh, it’s you.” He sat back down, but did not pick up the remote control he had obviously just dropped. “We’re not here.” Pat glared at his brother as he led Melinda to some bean bag chairs in the corner of the room. Melinda looked around, noticing a large television on one wall with more bean bag chairs scattered around the room. There were remote controls and games all over the floor, and some plates and cups stacked on a table. Walter pouted, turning to Melinda. “What’re you doing here?” “Your mom thought maybe you’d clean your room if you knew I was here.” “She must not know me. But, why are you here? Like, at our house?” Melinda looked cautiously at Pat. “Well…” “Oh, man! You came to see him?” Walter did not hide his whine. “No. Your mom called mine last night to invite me over. To have a playdate with you.” Walter raised his eyebrows. “She didn’t.” “Well, my mom didn’t call it a playdate, but yeah. She pretty much did.” “So, why did she send me up here and make Pat stay?” “Because I had already told my mother about me and Pat and she was uncomfortable. So, we just had to have a really awkward conversation with our moms.” “Okay. Never inviting a girlfriend over. That’s good to know. Who’s up for WTTE?” “Not now, doofus. Go back to your game.” Pat glared at his brother before turning to Melinda. He took her hand and gently pulled her into one of the chairs as he sat in another. “What’s wrong, Daphne?” She kept her voice low. “Did you get my text?” Pat shook his head. “When?” “Last night.” Pat checked his phone, again shaking his head. “Nothing. I saw you had tried to chat, but when I called back, there was no answer.” “My phone died. What’s going on with you and Poppy Sommers?” She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “Poppy? Nothing. Why?” Melinda saw something in Pat’s expression that she had never seen before and it hurt her. She responded very quietly. “My mom’s right. You are a good actor. There’s something you’re not telling me.” “Daphne, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can you please start at the beginning?” Melinda pulled out her phone and showed him the image Joey had shown her the night before. Pat gave it a cursory glance before returning it with a shrug. “Poppy and I were together last summer. You knew that.” “No, I didn’t. But, this isn’t from this summer. This is from the other day.” Pat looked at the article more carefully, scrolling slowly enough that Melinda realized he must be reading it. Meanwhile, Walter must have been listening to the conversation, because he suddenly reappeared reading over Pat’s shoulder. Pat muttered a curse under his breath. “I’m gonna kill Cynthia,” he grumbled as he stormed out of the room. Melinda tried to remain nonchalant as Walter took his brother’s seat. “Who’s Cynthia?” “Our agent. You okay?” When Melinda shook her head, afraid her voice would betray her, Walter leaned over to give her a comforting hug. “He’s crazy about you. He would never cheat on you.” “What’s going on?” asked a voice standing above them. “I just ran into Pat and he looked ready to kill someone.” Melinda watched Meghan, an eighteen-year-old version of her mother, gracefully fold herself into another chair. Walter handed Melinda’s phone to his sister, who read the article carefully. “That twit. I warned Pat she was bad news, but did he listen? Nooo.” “It says they’re….” Melinda could not bring herself to quote the article. Meghan glanced at the phone. “They’ve rekindled their romance after a five-month hiatus.” Melinda nodded. “What’s high-ate-us mean?” Walter smiled, used to translating vocabulary words for his friend. “It basically means a break in a routine. It’s a common term in Hollywood and appropriate for this article. Except for the fact that it’s a lie.” Meghan smiled kindly at Melinda. “Lemme guess. You saw this and thought Pat was back together with Crazy Poppy?” When Melinda nodded, Meghan turned to her brother. “Go. It’s girl time. I suggest you go find Pat. He looked a little unhinged when I passed him in the hall.” Walter squeezed Melinda’s shoulder before following his sister’s instructions. Meghan took her brother’s seat. “I’m not about to gossip about my brother’s previous girlfriends. But, I’m pretty sure he’s confided in me about all the girls he’s liked, both crushes and actual girlfriends. He and Poppy were spending a lot of time together when they filmed Romeo and Juliet.” “I thought they were dating. Romeo and Juliet,” Melinda interrupted. “Jarrod and Poppy?” Meghan shook her head. “The producers thought it would make good publicity to have a real life romance between them, and they got along okay enough. But, Poppy had her eyes on Pat. And, I think he liked that she was going out of her way to spend time with him. I warned him she’s crazy. Literally crazy. But, he didn’t listen to me. After the movie wrapped, they kept spending time together.” “How long were they together?” Melinda tried to keep her voice light, even though she was finding it difficult to digest. Meghan shrugged. “You have to understand. Poppy’s not completely right in the head. She gets these strange ideas and believes they’re true and tries to convince everyone else they are, too. Her mom is her agent and tries to keep a lid on things, but every so often, Poppy’s crazy side comes out.” Melinda sniffled but held back the tears as Meghan continued. “Pat always insisted he and Poppy weren’t serious. But, they hung out a lot for a few weeks. Despite whatever he told me, I was never convinced Pat liked Poppy, just the attention she gave him. He tried to break it off not long before he left for Hawaii.” “Tried to?” “I’m not sure of the details. We were at this party. They had disappeared for a while. When they came back, he told me he had broken up with her. A few minutes later, she walks right up to him, wraps herself around his arm, and starts talking to someone as if she had been part of the conversation all along. It was as if they hadn’t broken up.” “So they got back together?” Melinda feared the answer. Meghan giggled. “No! Pat wanted nothing to do with Poppy. But, I’m not sure Poppy figured that out. My best guess? Poppy needs attention so she leaked this story to the media. She probably believes it, too.” “Does he still care about her?” Melinda asked the question without meaning to. Meghan smiled. “If he even thinks about her any more, my guess is that he pities her. He has never cared for a girl as deeply as he cares for you. He’s crazy about you.” “That’s what Walter said.” Meghan frowned. “Sadly, I think Pat’s starting to confide more in Walter than me. Probably because they’re at school together and I’m not. But, when Walter was still ignoring Pat, he called me. Invited me to come to campus for the day to see a ballet.” Melinda smiled, knowing she was referring to her performance in the Nutcracker earlier that month, as Meghan continued. “Pat and I had a long talk the next day. I could tell how much he cared about you. I’ve never seen him this happy with anyone before.” Walter returned with a still-fuming Pat behind him, each of them flopping into the bean bag chairs. “I tried to contact Cynthia. She’s probably still sleeping. Stupid time difference.” Meghan rolled her eyes. “We’ll call her later I need to have a few words with her myself.” “About this Poppy thing?” asked Walter. “No. Nightshade.” Meghan spit the word out like she had eaten something disgusting. Walter tried to change the subject. “Well, since we’re waiting for LA to wake up, who’s up for a game of WTTE?” “What’s WTTE?” Melinda turned to Pat. He shook his head. “It’s easier to show you.” Melinda followed her friends to a room next door, with a pool table, a bookshelf full of board games, and a large octagonal table with a green-felt top. Pat led Melinda to the octagonal table, where he and his brother wordlessly picked up the table top and flipped it over to reveal a wooden surface. Pat walked to the bookshelf and returned with some pencils, lined paper, and graph paper, while everyone else chose seats at the table. “What’re we playing now?” Melinda asked. “Weddas, the Travel Edition,” Walter sounded proud. “Someone,” Pat said emphatically, glaring at Walter, “forgot to bring home Weddas. So, we created a travel version.” Melinda raised her eyebrows. At the beginning of the school year, Melinda had explained to Walter how she kept a vocabulary journal to learn new words, and that it had become especially useful at her new school when she was overwhelmed by her peers’ superior vocabularies. After his first visit home, Walter introduced her to Weddas, a game his family had invented. It involved using letter tiles to create a crossword puzzle of words. After returning to school, Pat had often joined their game and Melinda quickly learned the boys loved to play the game daily, sometimes multiple times a day, if they had the time. “You couldn’t play a regular board game like normal families?” she suggested. Meghan laughed. “That was my suggestion. My brothers are obsessed with this game.” “So, how do you play the travel edition?” Pat held up the graph paper. “Well, when its your turn, you write a word on the page. You can only write seven letters, as if you had tiles, but you can write any seven letters you want. Each letter gets its own square. On this page,” he held up a sheet of lined paper, “we write everyone’s words and keep track of which letters are used. You can only use a letter six times.” “Wow. That is…” “Inventive?” suggested Pat. “Ingenious?” suggested Walter. “Pathetic,” finished Melinda with a smile as Meghan burst into laughter. It took a few turns for Melinda to settle into the game, but Melinda was finding this new version a little easier, since she could just think of any word she wanted, instead of trying to make words using the letters in front of her. For once, she found it easy to hold a conversation while playing the game. Melinda turned to Meghan as she waited for her turn. “So, when are you going back to New York?” “My roommate went home for Thanksgiving and I didn’t want to stay in the apartment alone all week. I have to go back for a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and I just plan on staying in the city.” Pat turned to Melinda. “So, did your mom say how long you’re visiting?” Melinda shook her head. “She left,” Walter said. “When I left to find you, I ran into Mom. You can spend the day and we’ll take you home after dinner.” “Sick,” Pat smiled. He turned to his sister. “Did you say you needed to talk to Cynthia, too?” Meghan rolled her eyes. “Nightshade.” Pat and Walter both shuddered. When they said nothing, Melinda asked, “What’s Nightshade?” “My agent passed me a script. She does it all the time and I’m not sure Mom even knows I have it. So, I read through it, and it’s just wrong on so many levels. First of all, there’s a ton of cursing. I don’t swear. Like, ever.” “She’s like you.” Walter nodded towards Melinda. Meghan smiled as she continued. “I would possibly, probably not, but maybe, consider the movie if that were its only flaw. But, there are so many things wrong with it. Like, there are multiple scenes where I would be…” “Naked,” Pat smiled. “The word is naked.” He turned to Melinda. “She thinks that’s a bad word, too.” “She’s like you.” Walter again nodded towards Melinda. Melinda smiled. “Does your agent know how you feel about those kinds of movies?” Meghan shrugged. “I thought she did. But, she still sent me this. When I told her I didn’t think it was for me, she said that now that I was eighteen, I should consider...how did she put it? Basically, I should be in movies that are for an adult audience, not a kid audience. Shed my good-girl image.” “But, it’s not an image, right? I mean, I get the impression you’re like your brothers. You really are a good, wholesome girl. And I don't mean that to be insulting. It's something to be proud of.” “Is she this insightful with everyone?” Meghan asked Walter. “Pretty much. Except when it comes to boyfriends. She has a horrible track record there.” “Ouch,” Pat put a hand to his chest, pretending to be insulted. Melinda shook her head. “No. Walter’s right. I told you about my disasters.” Pat smiled at Melinda, playing with her hair. “Actually, you never mentioned why you broke up with Townie.” “You looked at me.” Melinda smiled, remembering how her ex-boyfriend was jealous of the time Melinda spent with her guy friends. Pat smiled back. “No, seriously. Why’d you break up?” “She is serious,” Walter said. “He got jealous you looked at her.” “Wow. You really do have horrible taste in guys. What does that say about me?” Although their game did not take long, by the time Melinda and her friends were finished, everyone was growing hungry. They headed down to the kitchen, where Walter pressed a button on the wall beside the doorway. “Mom, do we have anything for lunch?” Mrs. Evan’s voice emanated from the speaker beside the button. “Lunchmeat. Have some sandwiches. I think there’s some canned soup if you want to heat it. We’re having meatloaf for supper, with potatoes. Is that okay with Melinda?” Walter held the button for her to respond. “It sounds delicious.” She was unable to recall the last time she had even had meatloaf and decided it was probably before she had attended Hartfield, because she was certain she had not eaten any at school. Walter began taking meats and condiments from the fridge and Pat retrieved the bread and canned soup from a walk-in closet Melinda assumed was the pantry. When Meghan went to a cabinet to get them all plates, Melinda began to feel useless. “How can I help?” Meghan pointed to a cabinet. “Cups. Get drinks. I want water.” “Me, too,” chorused the boys. “Tap?” Melinda knew the tap water in her parents’ home was nearly undrinkable. “Use the fridge,” Pat instructed her. “It’s got a filter.” So, Melinda used the dispenser in the front of the refrigerator to get four glasses of ice water, which she carried to the breakfast nook. Meghan had set two plates on one side of the table, and a plate in front of each of the remaining benches. Melinda placed a glass at each plate, then returned to the counter where Pat was dumping cans of soup into bowls and placing each one in the microwave. “Here,” he smiled at her as he handed her a bowl. “This one’s chicken noodle.” Melinda placed the bowl in the center of the table, finding Walter had selected a seat and begun making his sandwich. When she returned to the table with a second bowl (minestrone), Meghan had sat on the middle bench and was smearing mayonnaise on her bread. Melinda noticed the plates had been rearranged so that she and Pat would be sitting together on the bench facing Walter. Melinda sat down after bringing the bowl of Italian Wedding soup to the table and Pat joined them a moment later with another bowl of chicken noodle soup. Melinda waited to make a sandwich, mesmerized by the one Walter was building. He had spread deli mustard on a slice of bread, then placed a slice of American cheese, a slice of salami, a slice of cheddar cheese, a slice of ham, a slice of provolone cheese, and a slice of turkey. He then spread mayonnaise on two sides of another slice of bread and layered it with the same cold cuts before spreading more mustard on a third slice of bread to complete the sandwich. “Where’s the lettuce and tomato?” Meghan asked him. Luckily, she had caught him before he had a chance to take a bite. He picked up his sandwich. “I don’t want any.” “But, I do.” Meghan stared at the turkey on her bread. “Was there any in the fridge?” Walter shrugged as he took a giant bite. “Prob’ly.” Meghan simply shook her head in disgust as she went to look for the toppings. “Melinda, seriously? How are you friends with him? He’s so gross!” “It’s not so much that we’re friends. It’s more that we have an arrangement. I let him copy my math homework and he helps me understand my Latin.” “You also drag me to church,” Walter added. “Oh, yeah. That’s because I have to watch you eat.” Everyone laughed as they continued to build their sandwiches. A moment later, Walter asked, “Does anyone else want the chicken noodle soup?” “There’s two,” Pat pointed out. “Not for long. Unless someone else wants some.” “Me!” Melinda announced and gently slid one of the bowls closer to her before her friend could take it. Meghan chose not to have any soup, so Pat ended up eating both of the others in addition to a ham and cheese sandwich. Walter, meanwhile, had a second sandwich, this time only one layer. “So,” Walter said as he took a large bite. “Now what should we do? More WTTE?” “NO!” declared both girls adamantly. “Melinda didn’t come to play board games all day,” Pat told his brother. “What would Melinda like to do?” asked Walter. “I have no idea. I had no plans for today.” “We could watch a movie,” suggested Pat. “We could play video games,” suggested Walter. “That might be fun,” Melinda said. They finished their lunches, making sure to return all the food to the fridge and even placing their dirty dishes in the dishwasher before returning to the playroom. They sat in the bean bag chairs on the floor while Walter turned on the television and gaming system and passed out the remotes. The Evans family owned a large selection of video games in all genres, but Melinda examined the boxes carefully until she found one that she thought might look interesting. She held it up. “Can you teach me to play this one?” Pat smiled as Walter groaned. “That’s my favorite game. Walter hates it because he always loses.” Pat put the game into the system and explained the basics. The screen split into four zones, one for each player. Melinda had to select which cartoon character she wanted to be, then select her race car. She could customize the wheels and body, but she elected to stick with the default settings, not knowing what else to select. Pat told her there were many tracks they could race, but he would choose an easy one while she learned how to play. He showed her which buttons she should press to move and the game started. As they drove, the players collected special items, which could be used to help them in the race. Walter threw an oil barrel that caused slicks all over the track, causing Melinda to turn around and lose her place. Pat threw bananas that would have had a similar effect, except Melinda was able to swerve around the peel at the last second. Meghan collected a star that allowed her to zoom along at double speed and pass nearly everyone. Melinda collected a clock, which Pat showed her how to throw. It caused everyone to freeze for five seconds while she continued to move, allowing her to pass the finish line while everyone was still frozen, since she had thrown it during the final lap. Melinda had fun playing with her friends, even when Walter changed the game to one where they had to work together to defeat some evil elf lord. After a while, Walter was the only one alive, but he did not seem to notice. Meghan left, declaring she had something better to do, although she had no idea what it could be. Pat beckoned Melinda to join him in his chair, where he put his arm around her. She snuggled close as he whispered in her ear. “I missed you, Daphne. I miss holding you.” Melinda said nothing for a while, but simply watched Walter’s game on the screen while Pat played with her hair absently as he tried to help his brother.. “Dude! Not the arrows!” “I know, I know!” Walter cursed under his breath as he pressed buttons furiously. His bow and arrow turned into a sword and he was able to lop off the head of a creature Melinda thought might have been a tree, but she really could not tell. “That was close.” Walter sat back as on the screen his character traveled through the woods to destroy the next creature he encountered. Melinda turned to Pat. She laced her fingers behind his neck as she returned his gentle kiss. They held each other close until Melinda could no longer endure the warm feeling that filled her entire body to bursting every time she kissed Pat. They sat with their foreheads touching for a moment while Melinda waited for her heartbeat to return to normal. “I missed you, too.” They kissed for quite a while until Walter began cursing at the screen again. Walter never seemed to tire of defeating the elf lord, so Pat offered to give Melinda a tour of the house. He explained that most of the second floor was their bedrooms, although the two doors they had passed at the top of the stairs were adjoining offices for his parents. They turned left out of the playroom and walked slowly down the corridor, which was lined with windows to overlook the pool below. The hallway opened into a lounge area with a small table in front of two bathrooms whose lights were off and doors were ajar. Pat led Melinda through the door at the end of the hallway into what could only be described as a movie theater. The enormous room had dark walls and a sloping floor, with a massive screen mounted to the wall at the bottom of the room. Melinda counted four rows, each containing five cushy red seats. In front of Melinda was an actual concession stand, with an empty popcorn machine, a small refrigerator with bottles of soda and water, and a display case of movie theater candy. “Wow,” was all Melinda could say. “My mom designed this room to have movie screenings. Or, we’ll use it to watch Dad’s music videos. But, this is also where we like to watch movies, too.” “Not, like, regular television, right?” “Honestly, none of us watch too much tv. Neogenesis is a must in here, though. The surround sound is incredible. Other than that, I’m not sure any of us watch anything else.” Pat shrugged. “Come on. I wanna show you the rest of the house.” They walked down the sloping aisle to an exit at the front of the room that opened to the pool deck. The indoor pool had four full-sized lap lanes, which were marked on the pool floor but did not have the bubbles floating in the water to separate the lanes. The room was a little too warm for Melinda in her sweater and jeans, but she said nothing. “There’s a sauna and hot tub in that room over there,” Pat gestured towards to a glass room just beside the theater, “but, we’re not allowed in it most of the time.” “What are those doors?” Melinda pointed across the way. “Those are the guest rooms. Their bathrooms open out to the pool. We keep swim suits in the dresser in case people want to go swimming and forgot to bring a suit. Like, you didn’t bring one today because who swims in November, right?” Melinda giggled and Pat pointed beside the guest rooms. “Over there,” he pointed beside the guest rooms, “is the library. I can show it to you later, if you want.” There were plenty of windows in the library, so Melinda was able to espy bookshelves lining the walls, as well as a couple of study desks and some comfy-looking chairs. “It kind of looks like the study room at school.” Melinda and Walter did their homework together in the same library room most evenings. Pat had joined them enough times to know the room to which she was referring. “Yeah, it kinda does. I think that’s why Walter’s more apt to study there than in his dorm. It’s like being home. When we were homeschooled, the library was our schoolroom.” Pat led Melinda past a glass-walled room, through the sliders into the living area Melinda had seen when she first arrived. Instead of turning left into the kitchen, however, Pat led her through another set of double glass doors into the glass-walled room she had seen from the pool deck. “This is the gym.” Melinda was facing a large circular contraption that had a bench in the center and a stack of weights on the side. Melinda had seen commercials for smaller versions on television, but had never seen anything this large or complex. It was too complicated for Melinda to figure out how it worked, but according to the pictures on the poster affixed to the wall beside it, you could use this machine could be used to tone over twenty different body regions. Beside the home gym was an old fashioned weight bench with a rack of free weights beside it. There was a mirror with some mats and exercise balls beside it. Across the room, there were five cardio machines, some of which Melinda could not identify, all facing the pool, although each had some sort of computer screen. “Why is there a screen on the treadmill?” Melinda pointed to the one machine whose name she did know. Pat smiled. “You can program it to any setting you want. So, if you want to take a run through the woods, you would just press this button and voila, you’re in the woods.” “Whose room is this?” “We all use it. Mom and Meghan like the machines and the home gym. Dad likes to use the home gym, but he prefers to run outside if the weather’s nice. Walter and I like the weight bench, and only use the treadmill in the winter.” “Where do you go outside? Your road didn’t look that great for running.” “Did you see the track going around the house? The driveway is kind of part of it, but it goes around the house itself. The track is about a quarter mile.” “I knew Walter liked to run. I didn’t realize you joined him.” “Yup. I created a loop around the campus. I showed it to Walter.” “But, you’re going to stop that when we get back, right? I mean, it's too cold to run.” Pat shook his head. “Nah. We’ll keep running outside unitl the paths become too icy. Then, we’ll switch to the indoor track. Melinda just shook her head. “No wonder you guys are always eating!” “Hey! Don’t compare me to that gourmand!” “Gourmand?” “Someone who really likes to eat. Usually excessively.” “Oh! That is a perfect description of Walter! I’m gonna save that word for Weddas.” Beside the gym was Mr. Evans’ music room, which was actually a small studio. In addition to an upright piano and a wall of guitars, it held some music stands and a mixing board. Pat explained that the room was soundproofed and completely wired with microphones, so the band could record in here as they practiced. Sometimes their father would record music as he wrote it, so he could share it with his bandmates later. “That’s so cool,” was all Melinda could think to say. Pat led her back to the living room. “That’s pretty much the whole house. There’s a dining room off the kitchen, but we only use that for company. So, what d’ya wanna do now?” Melinda thought for a little while. “How warm’s the pool?” Pat frowned. “The filter’s broken. I wanted to swim this morning, after my run, but Mom said we can’t use it until the filter is fixed. I say we watch a movie.” “In that theater?” “Well, yeah. That’s the best place to watch movies.” “Um, is your mom gonna freak out if you and I watch a movie alone there?” Pat considered a moment, then went to the intercom Walter had used earlier. “Melinda and I are going watch a movie. Anyone want to join us?” [Table Of Contents] [Chapter 36 coming October 2] Follow Patrick McGregor's story in Confessions of a Teenage Celebrity - Chapter 12: Meet the Parents (Part 2)
2020.09.24 18:27 EverybodyGetsCheeseHaving a hard time with relationships - family and friends have told me I'm just too nice.
TL;DR: I am trying so hard to date the right way but it has only ended in failure. Family/friends tell me I'm too nice/naive/available. It's them, not me. Background: I started dating my ex-wife when she was a month pregnant with my stepdaughter whom I have functionally adopted even after the divorce. She broke up with me once back then to go to her child's father, realized he was abusive and came back to me. Then she cheated on me with our roommate at the time. We broke up for a year but ended up back together. I was in the military at that point so we got married so she could come with me wherever I was stationed. We are divorcing after 10 years married. We tried to have our own child during the marriage and failed. 7 months after she moved out, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl...of her new boyfriend/ex-fiance's. The last year we were living together but functionally broken up. We had agreed not to date or sleep with anyone until we were living separately. She obviously did not hold up her end of the agreement. So, I tried to start dating immediately after she moved out and realized just how difficult it is to date as a man. I was incredibly anxious and clingy with the first few women I matched with or talked to. I worked on it for a while with my therapist and got a lot better at it. There's been 6-7 "interests" of mine over the last year and a half. By interests, I mean women I've matched with/became friends with/was introduced to that we spent more than week getting to know one another, had at least one date and had discussed our feelings with one another. All of them ghosted me, lied to me, lead me on or otherwise broke things off with me before a relationship could form. This is not including the probably 250+ matches from different dating apps/sites where we have a conversation less than a handful of times and I never hear from them again. I'd like to point out that typically after being emotionally hurt by one of the handful I was genuinely interested in, I'd spend a month or two on my own to clear my head before trying again. I've been told the same things so many times and I'm sick of hearing them. I'm not codependent, I'm not desperate, I DO love myself (I just don't understand why it seems no one else does), I am fine being alone but I'd RATHER spend my free time with someone else, just because I struggle with anxiety/depression doesn't mean I don't deserve to be loved or have a normal relationship, I am NOT trying to rush into anything! I've been told I'm trying to rush things but I actually want to start a relationship the correct way: get to know each other, go on a date, hopefully things go well and you go on more dates and maybe a month, two months, three months later you have a discussion about becoming monogamous with each other. "Stop looking and you'll find them . . ." - WHERE? I ask. All of my friends are separate from each other and I'm the mutual friend that connects them. There are no single women at my work, the ones I met at my 2nd job were all too young (<22), the women at my church aren't interested or are older (45+), the charity I volunteer at is mostly male, I'm getting my bachelor's entirely online, I don't drink so I never go to bars except for concerts... My point is - there are very few new people that enter my life regularly. I don't just "meet" people anywhere, ya know? Me: 32(M), US, salary is roughly 75k, drive a decent car (<2 years old), play a few instruments, keep a clean living place, renting an apartment but I'll be buying a house very soon, I have a pretty diverse group of friends, I have a few hobbies, I have good hygiene and I'm typically a happy person and pleasant to be around. I've got a lot going for me right now in my life and I feel like I would be a good, equal partner in a relationship. Physically though...I'm 5'4, ~175lb. A little overweight but I carry it well. I'm a little self-conscious about my teeth as I didn't take great care of them when I was younger and they're a little yellowed with some calcium deposits. I don't drink or smoke cigarettes or do hard drugs. I'm a medical cannabis user. I'm in therapy every two weeks at least even if I'm feeling fine and my therapist is great about helping me make decisions in my life regardless. I guess my point is with this paragraph: I don't see anything "wrong" with me that would cause me to fail so hard with general dating. How I act/communicate: Like I said, I was really bad at first about multi-texting and questioning why they weren't responding - I've overcome this and now I send one-two(I have the bad habit of splitting my messages up sometimes even though it should be one text) and wait for a response. If they respond with a question I answer it and generally shoot the same question back or come up with one of my own to get to know them. I usually ask within the first 24-48 hours what they're looking for on that app/site/wherever I found them. If our goals align then I continue the conversation, if they don't, then I respectfully tell them that I didn't want to waste either of our time and wish them luck. (I want kids in the future, quite a few just didn't. No big deal to me, we just want different things.) If they haven't asked my height at this point I usually volunteer it. I do NOT want to surprise them with my height on the first date only for them to break things off with me for it. (This happened once). At this point if everything has been going smoothly I start to get my hopes up. I tell myself constantly all day "stop thinking about her, it's not that serious, be patient, give it time, don't get attached already." Despite me being fully aware of it and consciously trying to stop myself, I end up liking them before we even meet. I do not tell them this unless they seem to be feeling the same way. After 3-4 days I try to move from texting to an actual phone call - texting just doesn't convey emotions or sarcasm properly. Half of them don't want to talk at all because they're just not phone people I guess. The conversations over the phone I've had usually last anywhere from an hour to like 6 hours. They listen to me and respond, I listen to them and do the same. It always seems/feels reciprocal - I wouldn't pursue someone that didn't seem interested in me at all. I was under the impression that most women like to be greeted with a "good morning" type of message and a "goodnight" type of message. I thought it would make them feel special that I was thinking about them at those times. I usually don't start this until we've been talking for a couple days already. Dates: I usually ask them to meet me at the location so #1) they can leave if I'm making them uncomfortable and #2) a lot of the times we are meeting somewhere in the middle. I always offer to pay and try to grab the check before them. I asked them out, so I should be responsible. If the date went well - smiling, laughing, lots of talking - I walk them to their car and...bashfully I ask if it's ok if we can kiss...usually they say yes and it happens. I usually leave feeling pretty confident after that. I don't ever push for anything more than a kiss or hand-holding and I try to let them lead. My goal for every date is to make sure they leave feeling listened to and respected and hopefully a little giddy/excited. I understand that they have every right to determine if they want to continue dating or not and I respect that. What I don't respect is being ghosted and left wondering...what did I say? What did I do? How could I have done better? Was she just using me for a free meal? She said she liked me . . . etc. Whenever i vent to my friends about being ghosted they usually say the same thing "It's something wrong with them, not you. They may have had something come up or a change in their lives, etc." - But, it's happened so many times now I have to assume that I'm doing something wrong. So yeah I'm a little sensitive, get attached too easily, love strongly and treat everyone with respect and I foolishly hold out the hope that I would be respected in return.
2020.09.24 18:16 CupcakeCommercial666EM (my sister) left me alone to watch her baby all night long while she/BIL partied. Was furious when I billed them for the extra time.
I got asked by a TON of people for more stories about my Entitled Sister, so here's one for ya. Remembering this one it still irks me to this day all these years later. -- This happened when my nephew was just a year old, so like 7 years ago. My sister (EM) asked me to babysit my nephew for her and BIL for a few hours so they could go to the Mardi Gras parades together. I said I was making plans that night so I couldn't but she begged me to help her because they'd not had a 'date night' since nephew was born and they needed some time alone together as a couple. I begrudgingly said I would but only if they paid me $15 per hour (because watching a baby is hard and I turned down plans for this). We (me, Sis, and BIL) all agreed on that so I was set to come over that Saturday night. I showed up at 5pm (parades were to start at 6pm I think?) and they both said they would be back no later than 10pm (so $75). I was allowed to watch tv, use their wifi, and eat/drink whatever in the fridge but Sis said I better not "go nuts on [their] food" (wonderful jab at my weight, thanks sis). I flipped her off then BIL comes in with nephew and hands him off to me. I make sure to reiterate that they ARE both coming back at 10 and I ask for payment up front but Sis says they're going to have to stop at an ATM on the way back, they don't have any cash on them. I'm annoyed but say alright. I ask if they're going to be drinking and how they'll get back if they are (and also drive me home cuz our mom drove me to their place so I was stuck) and Sis says "of course we're not!" but I don't believe her. She can't have fun without a beer. But while she's getting her jacket BIL says he's not drinking anything but she probably will, so he'll be the designated driver. At least there's that. I bid them goodbye and settle in with my nephew. I play with him for hours, put on his favorite cartoons and feed him dinnechange his diapeetc, all the usual stuff. I'm not a stranger to watching kids for relatives so this isn't new for me. But nephew is hard to get to sleep. He wants his mom and dad (this had been the first time he'd gone to sleep without them there) and cried for almost an hour (no matter the different ways I tried to soothe him) before eventually wearing himself out and falling asleep at almost 9pm. I was tired but glad I was almost done for the night. 10pm rolled around. Nothing. Then it got to be 10:30 so I called Sis to see what the holdup was. She answered and I could tell she'd been drinking. She was giggly and after I asked where they were she said they were looking for her shoe? And she said something about they ran into our cousin (another entitled person, great) and they were "totally" heading back asap! I said to hurry up and she said something I literally couldn't understand before she hung up on me. 11pm rolled around and still nothing so I called her back. It rang and rang before going to voicemail. She ended the call instead of answering. I try again and it rings even less this time before going to voicemail. She turned her phone off or it died. I call her again and same result. I can't call BIL because I don't have his number (never had to call him before). I consider calling our mom to see if she can get in touch with Sis but it's past 11pm at this point so I know she's asleep by now so I don't bother, I don't want to wake her up unless there's an actual emergency. Plus nephew woke up at some point around then so I had to pause trying to contact my Sis and focus on getting him calmed down and sleeping again. Took a while but he fell right asleep after I started scratching his back (softly). (a legit trick to get kids to sleep, knocks them right out lol) So then I wait. They finally roll up at nearly 1:30am. I'm pissed by this point and tired, just want to get paid and crawl into bed (I'd been up since 8am so I was hella tired). BIL and Sis stumble in, she's barefoot with her shoes in one hand and laughing loudly. I come ask them what took so long and Sis starts going on about how great a time they had, how they hung out with Cousin, and she pulls these stupid unopened tubes of Mardi Gras streamers out of her purse, opens them and then flings them everywhere, loudly talking about the stuff they caught while I try to shush her (nephew is asleep and I don't want him waking up again). She starts handing me all this crap from her purse that she said she "got just for me, so don't be mad at me okay!" like that junk would make her leaving me stranded at her place for almost twice as long as she'd promised would make everything better. The stuff was just a bunch of smushed Moon-Pies, tons of beads, plastic cups, and other junk. I said thanks but told them I wanted to go home. Sis waved me off and said for BIL to take me home before going and flopping down onto the couch to sleep I guess. I get my stuff and BIL takes me home, and I remind him to stop at an ATM and he sorta sighs. Like I get he was probably tired from dealing with my drunk sister for hours but I wasn't getting screwed out of my payment. He stops at a drive-thru ATM, looks at me and says, "Alright, $75 right?" Not proud of this but I actually let out a loud "HAHA!" and said that NO it would have been $75 if they'd come home at 10 like they'd said but they showed up at almost 2am, three hours late. So they owed me $125. He didn't look happy but he got the money out and gave me my pay before silently driving me home. I went to bed exhausted but $125 richer. Next day around noon Sis called me, furious I'd "conned" BIL out of so much extra money when we'd "all agreed" on them paying me $75. I asked if she was still drunk because what we'd all agreed on was that I'd be paid $15 PER HOUR. And they left me with their son for EIGHT HOURS. I also mentioned how she'd said they "wouldn't be drinking" but she came home smashed. She replied that she'd been joking, OF COURSE she was going to drink. It was Mardi Gras! I said I got paid for the work I did. But she kept arguing that I didn't really "work" for it, because nephew was asleep most of the time I was there. I said it didn't matter, I was still sitting for her. And how you'd be expected to pay a security guard to 'sit and do nothing' even if things were calm while he was on the clock. She yelled that that "wasn't the same thing!" and we argued back and forth with her saying I should have "done it for free, he's FAMILY! you should WANT to be around him!" I finally got fed up and said that next time she could hire some other sitter because I won't do it, or try to get some other family member to watch nephew for free (fat chance) before hanging up. I didn't want to argue with a potentially hung over nuisance. She tried running to our mom about this but Mom told her she needed to not hire babysitters if she couldn't afford to pay them. Sis called me the next day and said she told all her friends that I was shitty and "took advantage" of them "being late" by charging them a ton more. And that none of them would hire me to babysit after this. I didn't really care because her friends are losers that I have no relationship with. Plus I only babysat for one a handful of times and her kids are loud as hell to boot. So no real loss there. I didn't babysit after that at her place ever again, I would only babysit if I was paid up front and would take nephew (and niece later) out somewhere then drop him/them off with her when the allotted time was over so she couldn't leave him/them with me for longer.
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